My husband is a serial womaniser. I have stayed with him really because we have 3 young children and I'm scared to go it alone.
I can live with it as I really dont feel much for him any more, except for 1 relationship he has had. It was with a teenage girl when I was expecting our 3rd child. About a 7 month relationship, she was gorgeous, intelligent and young and I really hate her. She now has a really well paid job and my husband had to leave his as a result of this work based affair.
I am aware that it is jealousy that I am feeling. But this affair has caused me a great deal of embarrassment also. I have never taken any revenge, but sometimes the jealousy / embarrassment runs so deep in me that I make up plans to revenge them both but especially her as she has suffered no consequences at all.
I have had these for around 4 years now, they dont go away, in fact they get worse. I think if I can act out the revenge perhaps it will help.
What do you think? Any ideas of a plan
2006-12-12 01:56:27 · 46 answers · asked by pinklady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
a bad marriage is ALOT worse then being a single mom. I say dump him and go stay with family if you can.
its bad for you & its bad for the kids!!
2006-12-12 02:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by Bonnie 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Being married to this man is obviously causing you a lot of anxiety and pain. Although you have 3 kids I think you should start planning how you will have a new life with your kids without your cheating husband. Confide in your parents/sisters or brothers or close friends and plan how and when you are going to divorce your husband. It will be better for you and the kids in the long run although it is a scary thought - I know I left my husband and I had three kids. My life has turned out better than I could imagine, I always had a picture of being really poor and never meeting anyone else but the opposite is true. We managed just fine and they are now grown up and healthy and happy people.
It would be better to divorce him with dignity than try and seek revenge, in my opinion. Good Luck!
2006-12-12 21:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything as like in the revenge that you are talking about. You will be stooping down to his level by doing so. The best revenge that you can get on him is getting a divorce from him. He will have to pay you child support for those babies. With any kind of luck you will get to keep the house as well. That will be your best revenge on him, him having to pay child support and loosing his home.
HE will be the one embarrassed as he will loose it all cause he is cheating and every body will know. You will be embarrassed by staying it the married with him. You get the divorce from him and you WILL look better as people will know that you are NOT going to play his cheating games.
Revenge is wrong and two wrongs do not make a right.
2006-12-12 02:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel badly for you, I am sure it has not been easy for you. But revenge is not the answer. If you take revenge you are only reaching their level of morals. What your husband did is wrong and it takes two to tangle and she is not innocent by no means. It would seem that your husband reaped his reward by losing his job. She will get what she deserves in time. As far as your husband goes have you explained to him how this has made you feel? Have the two of you sought out counseling? It is very sad that he did what he did but he alone has to take responsibility for what he did. He was married and yet he thought nothing of you when you were pregnant with his child. By the sounds of things he has very little respect for you or the marriage the two of you have. Maybe it is time to re think the marriage and start thinking about divorce. I hate saying that as an option to you but if this is not his only affair he obviously is not serious about marriage with you. He knows you won't leave and continues to embarrass you by his infidelities. Time to move on and find a husband that will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-12 02:13:05 · answer #4 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cause yourself anymore embarrassment by staying with this cheating, uncommitted, horrible husband. Why don't you think you deserve a decent man who can commit himself to you? Women leave there husbands everyday in this country and make it just fine. Get some self respect and realize you are strong and refuse to be depended on this man for money or a place to stay. I would move on and quit letting the basis of your life be about your cheating husband. That is all your life will be about and there is so much more to it than that. You are raising three innocent children and you need to be the responsible strong parent. Don't let this man hold you in a completely humiliating and violating situation anymore. Be strong and research your options. Take any outside support you can get. It only has to be temporary. Forget about revenge and quit waisting time on this pathetic situation. You are not going to hurt this man because he has no heart or he wouldn't repeat him disgusting behavior. Good luck and be strong for your kids and yourself
2006-12-12 02:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is a wonderful fantasy. You've stated that you're scared to go it alone... What do you think would happen if you acted out ANY type of revenge? She may have had a part in it but it's your husband that cheated on you. It could have been any woman, it happened to be her. Unless you plan on leaving, revenge will only make your situation worse.
2006-12-12 02:04:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a hard situation you are in! Well, for myself personally, I wouldn't have stayed after I found out he cheated the first time because that is so disrespectful. However, I understand why you did because of your 3 children. I would recommend you seek help from family and friends and get out of there. This man isn't nice and not worth your time or love. Your best revenge would be getting away from him once and for all.
2006-12-12 02:02:49 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you i am sorry for what you are going through but to be honest I've been there done the revenge bit and it did at 1st make me feel good but in the end i felt stupid because it never brought my man back to me with out him screwing around
do you no what would make you happy.......
this is the truth when you learn to live with your self love your self and find that confidants i no you have hidden
you will be a happier you for you and the children
you don't need to feel so low and worthless
YOU are worth more you don't need that man to make you feel the way you do
Go and live a happy life find some one who will love YOU for you
what ever you do i wish you and your children health and happiness
respect
shaz
2006-12-12 02:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by sharon B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best revenge is divorce....you say that your scared to go it alone....honey my marriage ended because the ex was screwing everything that had a pulse.....and i had 3 young kids too, then aged 5 3 and 1....never be scared to go it alone...dump him because your life will be empty while he's doing the dirty deeds all the time, it's enough to drive you crazy..have confidence and drive, be strong and be determined...gain some positivity....it IS possible to go it alone, i am living proof...my kids are 22 19 and 17 now and very happy...they don't hate their dad for whats happened because it was not their fault that he cheated and i did not have the rights to slate their dad to my kids, it was our problem, not theirs...they love him and they have a good relationship....seek some help if you really want out...i am sure you have family that will help you if you go it alone...it is hard at first but would you rather stay in a relationship that's not working or be happy and single again?....it's never impossible to go it alone you just have to have that drive hun...but your husband needs to be gotten rid of...he's making things worse for you....think about it....
2006-12-12 02:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your suffering, but girlfriend this is eating away at you, i see it as i read every line in your question. Yes i know that you want to get revenge, but honestly don't do it, as it could just come back and bite you on your bum.
After 4 years it is still eating away at you wow, maybe it is time to go it alone, and before you say you can't YOU CAN.
Nothing is impossible, i understand you have children but you are a strong woman, and you will find a way to cope without your other half.
I suspect that every time you 'look' at him it brings it all back to you, why do that to yourself you deserve better.
Until you get out of your situation, then this affair will forever eat away at you.
Children are quite perceptive to this things, why should they have to suffer to, it's not their fault, just think about it.
2006-12-15 18:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by classychick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he got a best friend, a brother or father?
If so, arrange to see each one in turn for sex, if you aren't sure how please email me for further details but try to have all three during the same day, one in the morning, the other for lunch and then a frantic mid afternoon session, then shower or bath, dress, also important, dry your hair and then when your husband gets home from work and asks you what you did that day tell him you had sex with his brother, dad and best friend, as it all sounds too much it is unlikely he will believe you, it's then up to you if you want to show him the pics or the video.
NB; if you are willing to pay expenses, I can try to be available to record the happy day(s?) for posterity.
Another NB; if his dad is too old or ugly, what about staggering the event and have one of his work colleges?)
2006-12-12 02:58:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋