why is it that some women expect you to be more or less a woman around her, and a man everywhere else? Seriously. He gets points chalked off her little scoreboard for not being as soft, yielding, sensitive and intuitive as she is, but is expected to be ruthlessly competitive in the workplace or in business. He's expected to help out with household drudgery - washing dishes and changing diapers and what not, but will get looked at like he has three heads if he tells his wife to empty a rat trap or put brakes on the car. He's expected to ignore her irrational and hurtful "time of the month" hormonally driven outbursts, but has his own testosterone-driven fits of temper internalized and gets a life sentence for them. He's expected to be a man (big time) if his wife gets pawed in the Wal-Mart parking lot (and BELIEVE ME, that's when no woman wants you to slink off to a safe distance and call 911), but is expected to roll over like a putz when she tries to push him around and remake him.
2006-12-12 01:52:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
bottom line. If you what you want in the long term is Alan Alda in a frilly apron helping you cook a souffle, don't get the hots for and fall in love with Clint Eastwood.
Is just an example, and maybe not a good one. But you get the idea.
2006-12-12 01:55:44 · update #1
to the folks that have mentioned it. I'm not with her anymore. Should have know better, She was smart as whip, wickedly funny, incredibly pretty, the lot.
I guess it is true that everything that seems too good to be true eventually is. Was for me.
2006-12-12 02:28:39 · update #2
I truly am sorry you feel this way! Not all women are like that not all men are like that. I want my husband to pitch in around the house when he can, but that is because I'm so dang tired with 2 little ones and a third on the way, I don't always have time to get things done, or when I do, I turn around and the kids have undone it all. I also make all appointments, take care of the finances, take care of all vehicle maintenance and much more. I do ask my husband to take out the trash, his upper body strength is greater than my own. We buy something that needs to be assembled, I put it together, he can barley hold a hammer or screw let alone use one. That is okay for me most of the time. He also can't cook, but he can iron :)
The one thing that does bother me is he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body, says its because he knows I truly love him, but it sure would be nice if he would say hey not cool when someone gropes me and its not him...he wants the same in return and I can't give it to him, I get jealous of the women he chats with on myspace and via email...
I really feel you have the bad end of a deal if that is how your relationship is and I am truly sorry...
Have a GREAT day
2006-12-12 02:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is an underground war going on beneath the surface between women and men. Most won't admit this or at least don't like to. But it has been going on since at least the Victorian Age, probably longer. And the rift just keeps getting worse and worse. In some ways it is causing a dangerous fracture line in our society which bodes no good. I'm sure you already know a lot of women who have given up on men and are totally independent. Most women are better at networking than most men. They are survivors. Men tend to complain a lot about this situation and a lot are floundering. My advice to you? If the women can be strong, so can we. BTW, have you ever considered trying a man? The language barrier is less. Since we are all from Mars we all speak Martian.
2006-12-12 03:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Seeker 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry you have had those experiences, because they are not typical of the opposite sex. You seem to have been in relationships with immature women who think they can "change" their man - mold him into some ideal they have in their head. Women (and men) need to be clear that what you see is what you get. Marriage will not change him. Having a baby together will not change him. NOTHING will change him (or her) because by adulthood the core personality has been formed. And BTW, if she blames her "outbursts" on that time of the month, it's just a poor excuse for venting. Shame on her.
2006-12-12 02:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by keepsondancing 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are like that, but it's true that a good number of them are.
You should make a stand and define your personality like you really want it to be. If you feel like being sensitive and thoughtful, or territorial and competitive, do so.
You should adjust your personality like you want it to be first and then look for a partner that it's ok with it. Never the other way around.
Don't change for a partner, look for one that's willing to accept you for who you are. If you are unsatisfied with your relationship, keep looking, there are plenty of fish in the sea. If not, talk to her about this, maybe you'll be able to make her understand your position.
2006-12-12 02:04:21 · answer #4 · answered by Extreme Ways 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have not yet left behind the days when he went out and slew dinner and she stayed in the cave with the gene carriers. so some women still want the protector, provider but also the modern counterpart who is her best friend and roomie. Lots of kinks yet to be worked out for this human race! And it reverses gender as well - some men want women to work full time and do all the housekeeping while they play in their garage, fixing brakes or something!
2006-12-12 02:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that people who have this attitude need to stay single. Married people who have children are in the business of raising the children together. They are life partners. I agree that jobs shouldn't be stereotyped to gender, but that's exactly what you're doing. You're complaing about why a man has to help with the dishes and housework and children, if he has a full time job.
Raising children and running a household and perhaps a job besides that, IS a full-time job for women.
Men need to get off their lazy butts and either participate in the birth control process or stay single. Same for women.
2006-12-12 03:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Dude you are a victim of your own actions. If you give in to that garbage it will only continue. My only advice is to put your foot down. Tell your wife that inside of the house is HER responsibility. The outside of the house is YOUR responsibility. Tell her I am the man you are the woman. It might not be 100% fair how the world treats those roles, but thats the way it is. I didn't make the rules, but I am going to follow them.
2006-12-12 01:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by Craig 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look for a woman who thinks outside the box....most the time the weird ones don't follow such high maintenance standards....otehrwise....the material women that follow that cliche (unfortunately the majority), will continue to believe that way from sociological assimilation.
2006-12-12 02:02:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dennis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is the truth never ask women what they want because most of the time they don't know. Just be yourself and the woman that is attracted to the type of man you are... is what you will end up with, never change yourself to please any woman it is recipe for disaster.
2006-12-12 02:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ynot! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yahoo solutions draws such a lot of close-ins with ~deep~ questions approximately society. i choose guys to preserve all dull feedback approximately my face and my frame of their heads. a girl can pass judgement on each and every remark on my own. does not ought to be absolute, and it is in no way as much as you to make a decision what ladies will have to be relaxed with.
2016-09-03 07:46:27 · answer #10 · answered by dassler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋