Okay...a girl that I work with moved 300 miles up here to be with her boyfriend...who ended up kicking her out after a month. She had no family or friends here and didn't know what to do (she is nineteen and has never lived on her own). I told her that she could stay at the house for a little while but she had to get herself on her feet and let us know what her plans would be. Obviously, none of this has happened. She doesn't pay us rent..she eats our groceries, doesn't clean up behind herself, and won't help around the house. She has ruined my bedspread with makeup all over it and puts her HOT straightening iron on my electric piano. She has no repsect for us (my boyfriend of four years and his son who lives here). We already had a household and want to get back to our old routine. We were trying to be nice...but she has taken advantage of us and thinks that we are going to be a FREE ride. We are not obligated to take care of her....we already have a child...any advice??
2006-12-12 01:20:55 · 32 answers · asked by KristinDouglas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Here are the facts
a) It is your house
b) It is you family
c) it is your life.
You need a,b,c back and like you say she is preventing you having what are yours.
You don't want things to get nasty so firstly a friendly but firm chat to define a leaving date. This is up to you but to make it a smooth ride make it a week in order she has time to get another place & get her stuff up together. Even offer to help her organise / move out but make it clear that it WILL happen on such and such a date! Absolutelly no excuses! To add weight both you and your boyfriend need to confront her at the same time! On the day before D-day remind her (if she needs it or is still there) and if she resists moving then let either the authorities know or her family & office colleagues!
How you deal with getting compensation hmm..don't know but unless you are a smooth talker I would either take it on the chin as a bad experience or goto Judge Judy! Good luck and let me know how it goes!
2006-12-12 02:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by bigbrother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you have told us and then give her a date by which she must move. Remind her of this date daily and make certain that she is making arrangements and packing her things. If she seems to be dragging her feet, inform her that she will be forcibly removed after that date by authorities and the locks will be changed Everything you've said about her reveals her to be very immature which is not unusual for a nineteen year old. However, you are not her parents so she feels no obligation to listen to you. She needs to go back home.
2006-12-12 01:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was not giving her a date and time frame to be on her feet. You didn't have any expectations, so she didn't have any of herself....
You need to tell her she has one week. give her a date and write it on a piece of paper. Tell her you will expect her to have her things packed on that date and ready to move, because she is going. drive her to a shelter and give her $100.00. It will be well worth it to have her out.
You can't be a coward.. this is your home and she is obviously a lazy leech.. Stand firm and don't back down, even if she cries and whines. Help her get her things together... get some boxes and start puttiing her things that are lying around the house in them.
You have to let her know you mean business.
tell her you want her out and that is that.. There are no comprimises.. Have your bf there and backing you up..
2006-12-12 01:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time she leaves the house, I would pack up all of her stuff and set it outside on the porch. If she has a spare key, change the locks. When and if you talk to her again, explain to her that it was her laziness and total disrespect for your home and your family that lost her a place to stay. You set guidelines for her to follow and she choose not to. She has no one to blame but herself. I would also make her pay for any damages she caused but if you just want her gone, I would let this go if they aren't severe. Does she have contact with her parents? Maybe you could call them and explain what is happening and they can pay for their daughter to go back home. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around this girl, this is your home! and if she cant respect that and act like an adult, she needs to go. Best of luck to you and I really hope you get rid of your "pest".
2006-12-12 01:32:48 · answer #4 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her to leave and change the locks on the door. I would also talk to her parents and let them know of the situation because you also just don't want to put her out on the street. It is high time she grows up and you really did not help the situation much by bailing her out. I think she will land on her feet quickly, look how fast you came to her rescue, it will happen for her again. Call her parents and give her a dead line to have her stuff out. I would make sure you are there to supervise her exit, don't want her pulling anything funny before she leaves.
2006-12-12 01:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by Girls M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy. Have a sit down with her and let her know that you were happy to help her out but the help has a limit and that the three of you want to return to the way things were. Let her know that she has two weeks to figure out what her options are and that you will help her move to wherever it is she plans to go. Give an actual move-out date so that she knows this is for real. Be kind and let her know this is difficult for you but be firm as well. Good Luck.
2006-12-12 01:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by cmfrtkeepr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would think that there is no legal reason why you just couldn't say get out. I know that happened to my wife and I. We tried helping someone out, 6 months later they were still with us. I would tell her that she has until so and so date to get out. When that date comes take her stuff and set it outside. I would believe that you are within your right to remove her. She isn't paying rent and doesn't have a lease so she should just leave. If she stays then she is really tresspassing. At least I would think so.
I say go for the direct approach and tell her to leave. Hope this helps.
2006-12-12 01:29:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what u said, the only way is be tough, dun have to be nice anymore cos u've given her the chance...guess she needs u to be really upfront with her...cos i think she dun get what u mean since ur saying it in a nice way...some people needs to learn from the hard way. You can actually just kicked her out like what her bf (or shld i say ex-bf) did...kicked her out of the hse! But since ur nice....u cld confront her, tell her if she dun look for a job in a week...or help out around the hse....ur gonna dump all her stuff out and let her sleep on the streets...since u aren't obligated to take care of her and u did from ur kind heart...i think u need to show her the true meaning of life...which is work, earn, pay! Take it as ur last move, then kicked her out! if she still behaves the same...sometimes after a warning...people might change. Tell her that u take her in out of kind heart, but her attitude is terrible and that cld be why her bf kicked her out too, tell her that u dun owe her anything but she does to u and ur not even asking for anything but for her to look for a job n help out around the hse...if such simple things also she can't do, then she shld go! Hope this helps...good luck!
2006-12-12 01:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by DooGie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Serve her with an eviction notice. You shouldn't put up with free loaders... But since you have been paying her way, why not buy her a bus ticket home.. For the amount you will pay for the ticket you will save in the long run. Not only save money, but the stress too.. Good luck!
2006-12-12 01:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by Indymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd just tell her that you were doing her a favor by allowing her to move in for a little while but you never expected her to stay so long and now you want to get back to your normal life. Tell her she'll have to get her own place or move back home where she came from. And set a time for this to happen. good luck to you. ;o)
2006-12-12 01:38:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋