Previous to my last question, its kind of brought the fact that my husband is always often being "asked out" by women from his work to the forefront of my mind!
Background - he is 25 yrs, works in a large investment bank, we are newly married. Anyway the office is massive and he's been there for about 6 years, and for a good four years of it he has been a single party boy in the company. Now however, he doesn't really go out with work anymore and we go out together (minus the christmas party's).
He's mentioned several times about situations where young graduates have a) started randomly emailing him after meeting, b) asking him to come to things on the weekend. He has declined these invitations.
women in his team clearly know all about me, but its these girls that he barely knows that it has happened with.
I know now he's got a wedding ring on so it should make it clearer to these girls. Should I worry how he acts at work or accept that he is attractive to others??
2006-12-12 01:16:44 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We're only just married so most have been when we were engaged.
2006-12-12 01:26:08 · update #1
I am simply frosty because I was discussing going skiing whist trying to think of a good nickname!
So, no I'm not an ice queen or anything interesting like that!!! :)
2006-12-12 01:29:27 · update #2
Seems to me two things are happening here.
1- He's doing his best to make you jealous
2- He's making this stuff up.
Good Luck
2006-12-12 01:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by Audio God™ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is most likely still known as being the 'party boy' at work and therefore it is only the people in his team the know his more personal situation ie; now being a married man. The word probably hasnt got around to the people who know him less. These young graduates etc you mention probably ask to try there luck for a date, he's a young attractive man after all! for all they know the wedding ring may mean nothing & he may be willing to see others married or not. However what you need to focus on is what you know - that your husband is not willing to see anyone or cheat in his marriage. He has been very open & honest to you & told you about these situations going on & that is a good thing to be in a marriage, he obviously loves & respects you very much. I know its hard, but try not to worry about these other girls, they mean nothing to him & when you take a look at your husband yourself I expect you can see in a second why they want to go out with him......and why you married him. You wouldnt change him I'm sure so try to not worry about the others that want him & remember - you have him x
2006-12-12 01:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by Little Muffin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its nice to still feel you are attractive to others. Yet there is a line that a married man should not cross. It is absolutely wrong for these other girls to be asking him out when they can clearly see his ring. If you dont tell him that it bothers you when they do that then he will never know any different. He is doing the right thing by declining. Make sure he knows that you see that. It will take time for the label "party boy" to turn into "married man" at work.
When talking about it with your nusband be careful not to come off accusatory. BTW- if it ends up that he begins to not tell you when these events happen at work or seems to be hiding the fact that he gets hit on, thats when you need to begin questioning and worrying. As long as he is open, he isn't hiding anything.
2006-12-12 01:25:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, would you rather be married to a fat slob who everybody in the company avoids because of his god-awful body odor? Most of this happened when you were engaged and he had no ring. He has a ring now. He can't help it that women in his company find him attractive. If you really want it to stop start dressing him horribly and feeding him very fattening foods. Maybe make him less self-confident and socially awkward too. Sure, he'll have changed for the worse and he'll resent you for it but, hey, at least the ladies at work won't be asking him out!!!!!
2006-12-12 01:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i remember hearing that it's harder to keep a man than it is to get him in the first place. something like that. i wouldnt be overly concerned about it for now. the reason is because he's telling you about these women and maybe even looking for advice on how to handle the situation. if he were a cheating man, you wouldnt hear a word about these women because he'd keep a card up his sleeve so to speak. i think his party boy reputation may have preceded him at work. so these women are looking at him as the guy to hang out with.
so at this time, it seems like a case of trying to update his reputation from single party boy to family man. at this point, it's best to make yourself known at his job. this doesn't mean to become an everyday nuisance. bring him lunch at most twice a week, no more. get known by reception so when you come to the office, they know to greet you as mrs. such-and-such.
right now, you're in a situation where you have to assert your rights or dominance (bad words, but i cant find better) over your husband. you have to let these women know that you do exist and there's a reason he chose you.
lastly, dont waste time. everybody has a price and it isn't always money. sooner or later someone will get to him. keep up the lunch thing for about 3 months str8. then come by once in a while to keep up appearances.
2006-12-12 02:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anthony Taurus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girls are like predators, always have to see if they can catch someone elses man , it makes them feel powerful. Ok that has nothing to do with your question. Don't let it worry you too much , my hubby has not worn his wedding ring since the day after we got married. It does not worry me, i don't wear mine as well but a wedding ring means zilch, nada, nothing. If your man wanted to mess around he would have done so long ago. Go-on it is nearly Christmas don't let these thoughts creep into your head and make you unhappy. He is still with you so don't worry. PLEASE don't ever tell females that he is your man, that is when they will really go out of their way to steal him. Bad move.:)))
2006-12-12 01:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how frustrating it must be for you hearing about all these women that are after him but at least hes being honest with you and telling you about these offers - it would be so much more deceitful if he kept it to himself.
Jealousy is a natural instinct that you are obliged to feel when you hear these stories but as hes being honest and upfront with you about things I wouldnt give him a hard time. Certainly explain that you feel threatened and upset that these women persue your husband - but dont accuse him of anything.
Also - Id just double check that he isnt actually sending out signals to these women to say that he is so popular with them??
2006-12-12 01:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A wedding rings attracts women. Suddenly, they see you as the type of guy who will actually settle down...all they have to do is get rid of that pesky current wife. If your husband loves you, and everything is good in your relationship, then you shouldn't let paranoia and jealousy get to you...and if there are already problems in your marriage, well, then, it's just a matter of time...
2006-12-12 01:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by intoxicatedturtle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if he's being asked out! Take it as a compliment that people find him attractive enough to want to go out with him! As long as he's not shagging any of them then it's ok! Also, perhaps you should encorage him to go out with the boys more often, other wise he may start resenting married life. This is what happened to my parents and my dad left my mum.
2006-12-12 01:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by Dunk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've only just got married,so you've got to give your husband chance to settle down in that role,he's still behaving as a bachelor.
His colleagues still see him as single,even though he wears a band.That's probably the reason why he's being singled out.
Trust your instincts,but you'll probably find he's just having a laugh and nothing is meant by it.
2006-12-15 12:30:01 · answer #10 · answered by nicky dakiamadnat600bugmunchsqig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you trust him?
If the answer is yes then you have to move on or you will never sleep, but if you realize the answer is no, then yall gotta have a sit down chat. Good Luck marriage is forever and if you both are willing to fight for each other then you guys are lucky.
2006-12-12 01:19:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋