Will I ever be happy?

Question

I am so jelous of pretty girls. Thin,pretty, girls make me want to cry. I am ugly..I know people say that what's on the inside counts more but that is not true. I know I would like myself if I was thin and pretty. I think the only answer for me is plastic surgery. My bf says he loves me how I am but I know he like girls with nice bodies and of course pretty ones. He is in love with Beyonce and Jessica Alba who are I think 2 of the hottest celeb women.HIs last 2 gfs were so pretty and had nice bodies. What is he doing with me. Why am I so ugly? My parents are good looking.

IT IS KIND OF HARD TO LIKE YOURSELF WHEN YOU HAVE A PELICAN NOSE. EVEN IF I LOSE WEIGHT I WILL STILL HAVE THAT

Answer 1

I doubt that you are "so ugly," but you are clearly unsatisfied with how you look. I am more worried about your envy (not jealousy; that's different) of slim, pretty girls.

Look, every girl does what she can to look as good as she can. It's not their fault that you don't like the way you look as much as the way they look. And believe it, pretty girls can be dissatisfied with the way they look, too. They may look great to you, but they may not look the way they want to. Pretty girls, especially blonds, are often assumed to be shallow and ignorant.

And if they do feel good about the way they look, what's wrong with that? Wouldn't you LIKE to be pleased with your own looks? Beauty is not something that can easily be compared, no matter what the beauty pageants do. Who can say which is prettier without any reference to their own personal tastes? Some prefer blonds (not all are gentlemen, by the way) and some other colors of hair. Same for eyes, shape of face, shape of the rest of the body, including all details. There definitely are men who would label those girls you envy too skinny, and probably prefer your figure.

Your boyfriend has said that he loves you, but you find it hard to believe because you are looking at the surface. Certainly people do look at the surface, but they also look inside. That's where you are in grave danger, because your envy can make you ugly inside; far uglier than you will ever be on the surface.

I remember a sculpture -- probably dolls -- that represented Cinderella and her two "ugly" step-sisters. The artist had great insight because he made the two step-sisters ugly entirely by facial expression, stance and gesture, and inappropriate clothing colors and styles. One could see that if they had a pleasant attitude, they would actually be rather attractive, perhaps even as pretty as Cinderella herself. And so it is: attitude shows on your face, in the way you move and carry yourself, in the clothes you choose and how you wear them, all the little subtleties. And that has a greater impact than aristocratic cheek bones or slim wrists.

Ever see "What's New, Pussycat?" Barbra Streisand does a scene where she explains why some people think she is pretty and some do not. The scene is titled "Think I'm pretty?" on the DVD. Look for it.

And deal with the fact that being significantly prettier than you may not be an advantage when it draws the wrong sort of attention. My mother thought the reason I was raped at 13 was that I was "too mature" and, she nearly said, too pretty. It got to be quite an issue with the various shrinks I have had over the years.

Models and movie stars tend to get very, very depressed on their birthdays, because they know beauty on the surface does not last. A very few, like Kathryn Hepburn, are able to make the transition to more mature roles, but those are the ones who had more character than "popular" good looks to begin with -- and were better actresses as a result. The very beautiful ones, with rare exception, get roles where beauty is ALL the role requires.

Just go have a big hug and a small cry with your boyfriend, and decide to trust his judgment when he tells you how desirable you are.

Answer 2

Sweetie, how old are you? You sound pretty young, if I had to hazard a guess. The first thing to remember is that yes, while there are a few thin, naturally pretty girls that make us all want to pull our hair out, most of them don't really look like that. Think two hours hair and makeup for the ones you encounter in your day to day life, and five hours plus for the ones you see in the media. I'd rather have a life, thank you. Another thing you need to know is that everyone has their own 'time'. For some women, it's even in the late twenties. You wake up one morning, you look the same as you did the day before, and BAM!, everyone else thinks you're hot. You're light just comes on. You are being harder on yourself than others are being on you. The sexiest thing a woman can wear is confidence. Every woman - Beyonce & Jessica Alba included- has her own little tips and tricks. We dress to hide our flaws and play up our strong points. We know where to put diamonds, or rhinestones, and where we should go without jewelry. You aren't ugly, dear. I think we all go through that when we're young. And that comment about pretty, thin girls - boys may like the thin girls. But men like women with bodies and curves.

Answer 3

Depending on how old you are it could be a self esteem issue. It's like looking in the mirror. What you see isn't the same as what everybody else sees. If your between the ages of 18-24 you could just be trying to find your identity and you can't look to others for that. Once you become a woman 25-and up you will understand that this is who I am. There are so many things you can do if you don't like your looks. I'm not talking about plastic surgery or fake hair and eyes. I'm talking about maybe just make a lifestyle change and this includes: How you eat, how you take care of your body and skin, get a couple new outfits, get a hair cut and color, take a class in something you know nothing about. 1 or all of these things will make you feel like a new person and just build off of that.

Answer 4

I don't know anything about you but my thoughts are:
1) If you are over weight then exercise and thin down
2) Get your hair done differently or just change the color
3) Once you have thinned down buy some new clothes to fit your new body
4) If you don't change your attitude you probably won't be happy
Only you can change you and how you think and feel. You have a bf, that says something there.
Guys lust after women and they know they would never have a chance in **** if they ever met these girls.

Good Luck!!

Answer 5

It is not that the guys always like pretty girls with nice bodies, they might like them on the outside but most love the one who even though not very good looking but have a heart of gold. Such a girl can make all the beauties go hide themselves.
Also no girl can ever be ugly, beauty is relative, also you always have some good features which can be highlighted to make you look really attractive. Instead of feeling bad, give back tons of love to your b/f take care of your self and may be meet a makeover specialist, get a different hairstyle and change your wardrobe,have your own style statement and you'll look magnetic.
~anyone can look the best with some effort and belief in oneself.
Still if you dont believe me send me a pic of yours, I will be in a better position to help you out, so smile now.

Answer 6

Your boyfriend obviously sees something in you, you are being too hard on yourself. Nice bodies aren't what make you happy. It's about confidence not looks. You dont have to be thin to be pretty. You just have to take care of yourself. Keep you hair and makeup nice, lose weight for health reasons, not becuase you think it will make you better looking. Definitly don't be jealous of pretty girls, because you don't really know what their lives are like. They could be complete bitches with no friends, they might have a harder time finding someone to love them. Mabye they have a bad family life, there are more important things that make people happy that have nothing to do with looks.

Answer 7

Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. If that involves getting plastic surgery and losing some weight then do it. Lets be honest looks do matter especially if they are making you have low self esteem. There's nothing worse than that. You shouldn't worry about why your boyfriend is with you though. If his last girlfriends were so pretty than he would have stayed with them. That's where the saying it the inside that counts. He's with you because he loves you and that's all that should matter.

Answer 8

I can say I do have parts of me that I wish were a little bit different or that I can work on them, which I do but I'm not unhappy with myself. I'm living and breathing and I'm healthy and I have fun and I like my life. So, I don't usually try to let the smaller things about how I look or what not defeat me. I can always work on them, and if nothing happens they don't change who I am. But I guess everybody has something that they wish was different.

Answer 9

Hi friend,
First of all stop whinning about your self...Don't be so harsh on yourself. Be happy that some one is still there to love you...Why thinking of his past life when you have your own life to be taken care of...I don't know how you look like but one thing is if you are obese then there is nothing to worry! Smile and go to the doc and get your self a good diet plan...And Exercise! and yo! you will be surprised to see your self having better body than many hotties...One more thing i would like to add is if you are really looking for true love then he should be able to love you as you are, he should love your heart and not your body madam. Last thing would be don't be jealous of hotties on screen because they might have georgeous bodies but might not have some unique qualities that you might have...So stop looking down at your self and start loving yourself...Enjoy everything about yourself friend and you will start looking the world in a different light...

Bye!

Answer 10

First of all...STOP whining....your boyfriend is with you...be happy about that....if you want to lose weight go to a doctor and have him recommend a diet w/exercise to help you....learn to use make-up to your advantage....lots of men lust after Jessica Alba, Beyonce, etc....but would they really like the little self-centered twits if they had them? You don;t mention how old you are...plastic surgery? PULEASE!!! Be yourself...don;t do any dramatic changes...there is always some one out there who will love you for you, not what you look like...that's the man you want to keep.