my husband and i were fighting and i called the police. they had me write out what happened and charged him..?

Question

with domestic assault and agg. assault...i regret this all happening and have been sick to my stomach all night...is there ANYTHING I can do to stop this or lessen this so he doesnt get punished so bad. who can i call? what are my rights? please anyone, any advice would be the world to me. thanks.

Answer 1

Wow, first off I'm sorry to hear about this. RUN, you should not feel sorry or bad. The police feel that this incident warrents a charge and this should be a wake up call to you. You may need counseling to see the forest from the trees. This may be the first time he has ever done this and it may be a foreshadowing of things to come or you may have lived with this for a bit. Either way get OUT!

But if you're hell bent on it, you can always drop the charges or not cooperate if it goes to trial. Good luck.....

Answer 2

There are many women that live in abusive relationships. Due to this fact police have very strict rules to follow when you make a complaint. Also they have heard and seen a lot of people -they had you write up what happened to cover their actions if you decide to drop charges and then call the police in the future. Your husband will then show a pattern of abuse.

First ask yourself "why you called the police?"
Was the situation - out of control, frightening, or did you just need help winning your side of the argument?
Second "what information did you give the police that told them the situation was an assault?" You had to have marks, bruises or redness.
Third "why do you want the charges reduced?"

I have seen both sides of this issue. My friend charged her husband falsely - just to get him out of the house and move on with someone else. Women like her make it very hard on the women trying to get out of abusive situations.
Then I had a relative that lived in a violent relationship and couldn't be convinced no matter how many bones he broke. After years he died in a drunken car crash.

It is not right to be someone's punching bag nor is it right to call the police just to get the upper hand in an argument.
Think - did the abuse happen- then it will happen again, call an attorney while he is locked up and protect yourself.

Answer 3

Coming from someone who lived in an abusive relationship for 5 years, here's my advice.

Stop.

Stop feeling sorry, stop feeling guilty, stop feeling sick to your stomach .. and run like hell.

If the police have charged him with assault, then no, there's nothing you can do. The charge is being carried out by them, not you. This is done on purpose, because they are all too used to victims feeling guilty and retracting charges. So they don't involve you beyond the assault.

Listen to me, please. This will only make things worse. One assault is never, NEVER, one assault. There will be more, and they will be worse, because now he'll be bitter and resentful about the charges.

I don't know if you have children or not, I sincerely hope you don't, but I get the odd feeling that you likely do. This isn't a situation you want children to be in, this isn't a situation you want yourself to be in. Remember that your wedding vows did not include the vow to donate your body as a punching bag, or to love, honor and cherish through pain and suffering.

And this isn't meant cruelly towards you, but I hope like hell he gets jail time, one hell of a fine, and the odd beating while he's behind bars to show him how it feels.

Answer 4

Maintain a very very low profile, don't answer your door make yourself unavailable so they can't subpoena you and then just don't testify against him..It now becomes here say..He'll probably get off. Now is this really what you want? did he hit you or lay his hands/feet on you..If so he has a sever problem and needs immediate help..No call for those actions. If you stay with him you might be in more trouble than you imagine..Go on line to some of the sites dealing with this and read what others have to say..They were in your shoes at one time..Scary situation. What if there had been kids around.and he couldn't control his temper what a sight that would have been..If you provoked him shame on you however he still had no right to touch you in a harmful way. You got a dilemma on your hands..Don't testify and stay away from him until he gets counseling and his temper/emotions under control..Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

Depends on where you live, and the rules on domestic violence. In America there is typically legal protection preventing a wife from being compelled to testify against their husband. Call your lawyer and ask them to speak with the police about the incident and that you no longer wish to press charges against him. That should make the matter go away.

There are jurisdictions that will press forward even if you will not press charges. But this is rare.

As an aside, both of you might seek a counselor or minister to help you and your husband. Good luck.

Answer 6

You have two options:
1) You can follow through with what is already in place or
2) Drop the charges

Now, here is my question to you...Why would you not want to follow through with #1? I know from experience that backing down only makes him stronger. You need to stick with what is already in place. I grew up with my father doing this to my mother and now they are divorced. I promised myself that I would never allow anyone to do the same to me. That is why I am not with my bf of 3 years because 2 months ago he started to choke me while we were having an argument. It is hard to follow through with these charges but how else are they going to learn? It isn't acceptable behavior, especially if what you told the police was the truth. The police are not going to charge someone if there isn't just cause to do so.

Answer 7

No, you can't pull the plug on his charges. Because so many women in domestic violence situations have morning after regret, many states have laws in place to not allow them to do what you want.

You can contact his defense attorney and ask to speak at his trial to mitigate the sentence, that's it.

You're a victim. Act like one. You don't need rights in this process, because you're a victim of aggrevated assault. That means he beat the **** out of you. Let him suffer the consequences of his actions, and you need to get some self esteem and start getting your life together.

Answer 8

The typical abused housewife. Want him arrested and then change your mind. Cops hate coming to calls for people like you because this is how they get hurt or killed.
Its like this...I fully understand why women waffle when it comes to domestic abuse. In most cases there will come a time where you're going to get fed up with being mentally and physically abused and then finally take the step to do something about it.
But...in the meantime...you can contact the court and tell the prosecutor that you don't wish to persue the charges. That will not negate the two of you having to attend counselling but the court may just leave it at that.
of course every time you call the police and keep up this nonsense with the court you'll end up burning all your bridges. Just remember the story of the boy who cried "wolf".

Try working out you difference like adults for a change huh? If you two can't make any headway by doing that then just get a divorce will you? Quit calling the police to solve your problems. makes you look like hillbilly's.

Answer 9

Depending which state you are in the state will most likely pick up the charges, even if you drop them and they can use your writen statement as testimony. I live in Pennsylvania and the state will pick up the charges if the abused person don't be it man or woman. I hope you got a good hit in on him but most of all I hope that you do not have any children in the home, because they will be next.

Answer 10

Well, if he was beating on you, the person who at one time told you he would love and respect you forever, why are you worrying about him?

What you are suggesting is a pattern of domestic violence that always gets worse. The man batters his wife. he goes to jail. His wife feels sorry or he apologizes. They get back together. he beats her again, only worse. And this cycle is repeated until somebody dies.

Let him take his friggen medicine. Let him know that you are not a punching bag and if he really is sorry and loves you he will take probation and attend anger management and domestic violence classes and get counseling with you. Otherwise, sister, start stocking up on band-aids.