Heres a poem.?

Question

Looking at my reflection
Its the exact oppisite of what I am
But what I see in the mirror is still a part of me.

Answer 1

You put this up expecting honest critiques, so I will give you mine and let others do likewise.

First, a poem is not how you feel. It is how you can make others feel. Say that to yourself twenty times aloud. Seriously.

Next, a poem should never tell; it should show. You are telling everything in this poem. You want the reader to draw their own conclusions. Instead, you have handed them all the conclusions in one basket.

Every word counts in a poem, every word. Yet, you have misspelled "Its" (you mean to say "It's" -- contraction of it is) and "oppisite" (you mean "opposite"). If you do not care to spell and grammar check your work, why should anyone care about reading it? Don't go all defensive on that point. Poetry is a craft: submit garbage and expect to be thrown out. Do what you do with intent.

I am again struck by how little space there is in this poem for the reader. It is all about you. First person, singular. To evoke a feeling from the reader, the reader must have a point of attachment.

Watch for unnecessary words. Is the reflection your exact opposite? Hardly! Still right-side up. How is it still part of you?

Got an assignment for you: write as your reflection addressing you. Try that. And if you are going to make them short, do go read a bit about haiku (5-7-5 syllables, time of day, time of year, emotion); it will not harm your style at all.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

Interesting and philosophical. I don't think I could ever come up with something like this. Good job!!!

Answer 3

sorry, but it's a parody of japan poetry

Answer 4

Great.

Answer 5

good job

Answer 6

I like it!