swap responsibilities with your ex, let your ex look after the kids and you go off and be with your new love and see the kids every other weekend, kids are happy with situation, what would be best.
2006-12-11 23:31:11 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
kids always come first hunni
2006-12-11 23:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say you should put the relationship with your husband first. With that said, I think they are talking about the relationship with the children's parent (thinking you are with them still).
I think that your children might appear to be happy with the situation right now but I bet they are wishing that they had more time to be with you. I don't think it's right to put your new partner before your children's happiness in this situation. Your children were here first and they're not going anywhere.
If that is truly your arrangement I think that you need to start seeing your children more than that. When they get a little older and see what is really going on they will feel that you value your bf/gf more than them and they will resent you for it in the future. Go be an active parent in your children's lives. They deserve better and grow up so fast!
2006-12-11 23:42:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids without a doubt,especially for a mother,but saying that not all women are the same are they??It also depends on what bond You have with them/sacrifices over Your own personal happiness.You wont ever get those childhood years back,and there soon gone.If Your kids are happy with the situation then it`s whatever`s best for them.The most stable environment for them.At the end of the day they didn`t ask to be born,and it isn`t just about duty-love and responsibility.Men might come and go-children for life(says it all !!)
2006-12-12 00:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by JULIA E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children should always come first. If your partner is a nice guy and cares for his kids, he should feel the same way too. Obviously duty comes before happiness if there are children involved.
2006-12-11 23:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by Jo_Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids should always come first, but then again my kids are my happiness not my duty. If you feel they are your duty maybe they would be better off with your ex. I do believe everyone has a right to be happy, of course if you ve found someone you enjoy spending time with you should explore that. But kids should still come first.
2006-12-11 23:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by voidtillnow 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't relate because only a complete moron would choose to see their kids every other weekend IF they had a choice. Ask the kids if they would rather have their Daddy happy and only see Daddy every other weekend while their mother is in pain, or would they rather have their entire world stay together. Perhaps the kids would rather have the Daddy gone since he probably isn't much of a Daddy at all.
2006-12-11 23:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by Jon O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know what your kids are like and what is something that they can accept. But ask them and always put your kids first, because speaking from first hand knowledge, if they see the whole situation as you not wanting to take care of them and as passing them off it could hurt your relationship with them in the future.
2006-12-11 23:34:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Partners come and go, but a child's love is forever. You reap what you sew. Be there for the kids. You brought them into this world and they are your responibility. Sorry but I dont believe that your kids are happy with this situation. Sounds like you are trying to justify your own selfishness. They are a package deal!!!
2006-12-11 23:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children come first - ALWAYS!! What do you mean happieness or duty? Someone who only sees their kids as a 'duty' is missing something coz I get most of my happiness through my children and would never put anything before them!
2006-12-11 23:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's too many unknown factors here for a real answer. You have to be happy just as much as your kids because if your not, it'll translate to your kids. It's a highwire act, for sure, but you kids' happiness is most important, but that also means you are going to need to be happy, also. I'm in the same situation. I know. But give up the kids....don't do it...you'll regret it.
2006-12-11 23:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by D. L. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you had to ask this question says very loudly that you are not ready to take on the responsibilities of a mother. When you decided to have children, whether you realized it or not, you have made a lifetime commitment to YOUR CHILDREN. No one should ever take precedence over your children.
Your primary responsibility in life is to raise and protect your children and prepare them, as adults, to one day leave you.
If you cannot put the boyfriend behind your children in the pecking order, then love your children enough to give them to their father.
2006-12-11 23:53:13 · answer #11 · answered by sailingcat36 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋