2006-12-11 23:11:42 · 25 answers · asked by cami bae 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you are a verty insecure person who hs suffered rejection somewhere in your early life, leaving you feeling jealous and almost possessive of those in your life. Its a terrible place to be and it hurts you. You have to trust your husband and will never be able to until you have been healed of your wounds. Most people enter a marriage wounded in some way or another. Seek help; speak to a pastor or see a counselor preferably a christian counsellor. You must address these issues or they will consume you and make yyou a very unpleasant person .
Its a terrible place to be and I wish you the very best my friend. Override the feeling that are negative. Try to become confident. How? Well the first step you must take is override all feelings of fear. Stop fearing what might be. It wont be but fear will make it be. The very thing you fear will happen. Start operating in the positive. Positive draws the positive. Override the negative feelings. Feelings and Emotions can lie to you!
If you place your husband first and honor him and are accountable to him and make him happy you will reap the good from that. DOnt let jealousy drive you.
DOnt fear. Fear is not going to bring anything about other than the very thing you fear. Choose to trust God with your husband.
Take steps and dont back down. Even if you mess up you can get up and continue. Dont try to be like other people just be who you are the best that you can, because he chose you abobve all others for just who you are! Work on being the best.
As you can see from what I am saying to keep the home fires burning in a marriage we need to give our all. Trust God with your husband.
Read the book Captivating by Staci Eldredge and give him the book WIld at heart written by her husband John Eldredge. Read his first and then read yours and let him read yours first and then his. It does amazing things to a relationship.
I pray you overcome all your insecurities and become the woman God wants you to be! Go for it. You have nothing to lose.
2006-12-12 00:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All he hears is how wonderful your dead husband was. It can be very upsetting to constantly be compared to someone who will never change by someone you love. It also might be time for you to let go a little bit and move forward with your life before you lose this man who loves you very much as well. Remember your first husband, yes, that is good, but you are holdin on to the past and it will tear apart your future. Look at how your new husband is wondefful and tell him, and stop living in the past, your first husband will not come back. And let him adopt your son. Your son will think of him as daddy no matter your feelings. He was only 3 when he died, he hardly remembers him. Make a scrapbook for when he is older and will understand, and let Eric be daddy, it is rare to find a man who will love you and your child, and you've found him, don't lose him because you won't let go of the past. If you can't let go of the past and live in the present, then why DID you marry him? He wanted it to be you, him and Tyler (which is very rare) and you have brought a second man into the mix. Imagine how you would feel if all Eric could talk about was how wonderful this other woman was that he once knew, but that you could not meet and could never hope to compare to. that is where he's coming from. He loves you and you are hurting him. I'm not saying forget your first husband, I'm just saying enjoy wht you have now, your first husband would want you to be happy. Don't try to recreate the past, the situation is different, and you will only cause pain to yourself, your current husband and your son (who is 13 if my math is right, ask him if he wants Eric to adopt him, he's old enough to make that choice). If you find you cannot let go, you might try seeing a therapist, they can help you let go without forgetting, and it just might save your current marriage.
2016-05-23 08:18:51 · answer #2 · answered by Beth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am like that too, you`re not the only one!
There should be a focus group out there called "Jealousy Anonymous" or something, what do you reckon?
I honestly think that this problem all boils down to deep-seated insecurities that probably stem from your early childhood (issues linked to abandonment perhaps), low self-esteem and personal demons such as paranoia and the incapacity to trust other people.
The whole thing is a total nightmare because it`s something you have to live with every single day!
Unless you seek professional help, I seriously doubt that things are going to improve.
They might actually worsen as time goes by and eventually threaten and destroy your marriage.
It`s probably already happening, am I right?
Good luck to you because I know exactly how you feel!!!
2006-12-11 23:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by Lolita Angel Rose Taylor-Kennedy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some reason you probably feel like your not worthy of him. Insecurity. You just have to remember that he had a life before you got in his life and him in yours. He chose you because he loves you and wants to share his life with you. Friends, old friends and his family are not a threat to you and you have to realize that they all are a part of his life; but they are not sharing his life as you are. You are a major player in his life, and you need to realize that he needs space and freedom to be himself. He has no intentions of hurting your feelings; roll with it and be happy. He loves you and his friends and family are not a threat to the relationship. Chill out and enjoy it all. Keep a good attitude and don't cause him grief visiting his friends and family. It's wrong for you to do that #1 and #2 it will only cause problems.
2006-12-11 23:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually it's an indication that you feel like both you don't spend enough time together.If you eat dinner at the TV try eating at a table together some nights.Play a board game,go for a walk,something more personal.
2006-12-11 23:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by moaistatue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are self-absorbed. You don't like the fact that your husband does not need you in every aspect of his life. It's not all about you.
2006-12-11 23:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is missing. youe better put yourself in ur husband's shoes :) unless you have a good reason for this. Smile :) Godbless
2006-12-11 23:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by mysweetart18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it has something to do with your past. You are insecure with yourself. Maybe it is because he has cheated on you before. Need a bit more to answer this.
2006-12-11 23:21:11 · answer #8 · answered by Virginia B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are insecure or i dont know your life but maybe he has cheated or he doesnt give you enough effection to show you your the only one just a thought i dont know your life if i affended in any way sorry
2006-12-11 23:14:34 · answer #9 · answered by terri l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cuz you are immature and insecure . It happens to the best of us . Including me !
2006-12-12 00:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋