I'm pregnant and about ready to have our first child in february. i mean i know he is safe and will come home, but i'm not sure if he will be able to come home for the baby's birth. some nights i cant sleep because i can't feel his arms around me. so many things go through my head all at once like : what is he doing, how can i do this on my own, and will he be able to come home???? can some one give me a little bit of an answer to ease my nerves??!!?? i'm just scared that he won't be there for our sons birth. what can i do??
2006-12-11 22:31:30 · 13 answers · asked by Mandie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on the baby!
video tape the birth, then make a copy. send one to him in Iraq, and keep one at home just incase the tape doesn't get to Iraq.
I am certain you are not the only woman going through the same thing at this point in time. you should be able to find out some of the other expectant mothers that have husbands in Iraq, you can then either join a support group that they are in or form pne especially for expectant mothers with husbands in Iraq.
If you are unable to find other military mothers, any birthing support group would be a great way to feel better.
Good luck with the birth, and my suggestion is to definatly get someone to video tape the birth and send your husband a copy. also maybe send him a photo of the baby after the birth. I am sure he would love that.
2006-12-11 22:33:58 · answer #1 · answered by bekka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hun, if he isn't there isn;t much you can do about it. There are many people whose husbands are in Iraq or even somewhere else and miss their baby's birth. It stinks but not much can be done. Just pray he makes it home in time. If he doesn't make sure to have a backup plan. Surround yourself with people you are close to. Ask a couple of those people if they would be in the delivery room with you if your husband/boyfriend isn't able to be there. It won't be the same but it will certainly help to have that support system there with you. I'm sure it wouldn't just be devistating for you but him as well. I mean think if you were many miles away when your baby was being born. It's heartbreaking for anyone. Just try to relax and hope he is able to make it home in time. You've still got a couple of months so hopefully within that time you'll find out for sure if he'll be home around that time. Try to hang in there and spend lots of time with friends and family to help calm you. It's a tough spot you're in and I'm not sure much can really be done..just try to have faith and try to calm yourself. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out!
2006-12-12 08:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I recently was in the same boat as you I had my son V-day and my husband did not return till 2 days later, however the good thing is if you can get a hold of red cross soon enough there is a way where your husband can see it on camera live as if he really was there. Also, he gets maternity leave after the baby is born. Hope that helps if you have any questions feel free to email me or IM me
2006-12-12 07:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsey R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i think you should think only in a positive way! Idea with the tape i think is great, you should do that.
Also remember you are not the only one who doesn't have a hubby near you in that kind of moment do to different sort of reasons. You'll get through that, and when he's coming back home you'll be one happy family!!! Baby would be always with you.
By the way my dad first saw me in 9 months old, of course it's a pity he didn't see me that long (he is a seaman, cannot be home for year or so, we used to it), but still we love each other, and we a closest friends. i love him and he loves me. Grandmothers supported my mom during that time!!!
So good luck to you, keep your chin up and get ready for baby!!! Everything is going to be alright!!!
2006-12-12 06:55:47 · answer #4 · answered by yuliyasa2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should get leave while he is over there - plan ahead and have him speak with his First Sergeant to try and arrange his dates with the birth. If he does not get leave, you could always see if he could be authorized emergency leave through the Red Cross.
If he can't make it, it is okay, this happens to a lot of people. As long as he is there to raise the child, that is the important thing. Hang in there!
2006-12-12 06:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by Doyle Hargraves 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your security blanket is gone, and I understand. You will do great, wonderful, and your husband is proud of you for being so strong while he is gone. I know these answers won't help you sleep at night when you miss him, but he loves you and the thoughts of you and the baby will give him strength each and every day. Congrats on the baby, and you are going to be a great mom!
2006-12-12 06:43:05 · answer #6 · answered by km 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was not there for our son's birth and it was no big deal for me; I understood and I knew that he would be there if he could. I just kept reminding myself that he loves me, & the baby. I was 23.
If you think you may not cope on your own, just get a birthing partner; it could be a frined, mom, sister etc. Keep a video of the birth for him if you can. Enjoy the whole experience knowing that he is with you in spirit.
2006-12-12 06:58:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sending huge hugs to you! My husband was in Iraq, but luckily I wasnt pregnant until after he got home. There is a great website- with a board for Mili moms/wives. Here is the link- this is a great place for support and advice!
http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus1719
2006-12-12 10:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by marmarsie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
prepare to do it without him, like a plan B, so that if he doesnt make it it wont be the end of the world and you wont be prepared, maybe u can have him talk you through it over the phone, have your mum or friend with you to hold your hand and stuff. the father of my child was with me for the birth of our daughter, he was bloody useless, i wish i'd taken someone else.
2006-12-12 06:39:08 · answer #9 · answered by blakorkid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it will be ok if he can't make it; I'm sure he's trying though. Have your mother there, or his mother there with you to help you through the process. You could just be worrying too much.. relax.. I'm sure he's trying his hardest not to miss this! <3
good luck hun..
2006-12-12 06:35:30 · answer #10 · answered by October Sky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋