My ex (wife of 12 years) would get on msn and chat with a "friend" in another state after I had fallen asleep. Eventually we broke up and five weeks after I moved out she moved interstate to be with him. She says it was all above bored but I feel like she cheated. What are your thoughts?
2006-12-11 22:06:16 · 13 answers · asked by Pilgrim 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know if l would call it emotional adultery . Is there such a thing ?? I don't know, but l would say it was certainly not all above board as she put it. If after a 12 yr marriage it only took her 5 weeks to move on l would say that she was certainly cheating on you in some form !! Why would she wait until you went to sleep if she didn't feel that what she was doing was wrong ?? I am sorry to say it but Yes she was certainly cheating on you. Don't worry about her any longer just get on with the rest of your life and be happy. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-11 22:39:43 · answer #1 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There sure is. it brings out the worst emotions in the ones that are hurt by the one sinning. It is devastating to say the least and my heart goes out to you. Adultery is a selfish act and not condoned by GOd. In fact God hates divorce, but because of the hardness of the hearts of people he allows it. If your spous has committed adultery you are free to divorce and remarry. That is the only biblical ground for divorce. Life is not fair and people really are not nice are they!
Get counselling to help you through your trauma. It makes a big difference. I know I have been there! Speak to a pastor in your church!
Forgive your spous because she is acting out of selfishness and has chosen to take baggage into a relationship that is going nowhere! Forgiveness is not a feeling but a choice. Every day say I forgive you not because I want to, but because I choose to!
Good luck and God bless you.
2006-12-12 06:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be inclined to agree with you. I do think emotional adultery does exist and can be as harmful as the physical adultery. Even though she didnt physically do anything, she still invested all her emotional energy into someone else, which, in turn, did result in a physical relationship as well.
2006-12-12 06:12:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lochie 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Phil said that people with nothing to hide, hide nothing. If she waited till you were asleep to talk with this friend, then she had something to hide. Hiding things is not above board. I would consider it cheating if it was me. I feel married people should have no secrets. If you can't do it in front of your spouse, there is a problem.
2006-12-12 07:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by Real 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would agree that there is such a thing, the fact that she was not willing to let you know the details of her conversation with him would indicate they were talking about their relationship. If it was totally innocent there would have been nothing to hide from you.
2006-12-12 06:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is possible. U can have a romantic, non-sexual bond with someone under your S.O I read these guidelines somewhere, I don't rem where:
1. Secrecy: If you feel the need to talk to/be around this person without your S.O knowing, something's not right.
2. Intimacy: If you tell this person something you wouldn't tell ur S.O, or haven't, or don't intend to tell ur S.O it's wrong.
3. Chemistry: You don't need to have sex to know if u have chemistry with someone. U just know it
2006-12-12 06:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by vivmaiko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she definitely cheated. Emotional cheating can have as much of an effect as physical cheating.
Does your avatar have a mullet?
2006-12-12 08:50:55 · answer #7 · answered by danika1066 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, women cheat emotionnally and men usually cheat physically. This is the rule that goes with the way our brains are made up and different.
I think that it is much worse to cheat with your heart than with you body though (and this is a woman telling you this !!)
2006-12-12 08:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by Flofy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes there is and you experienced it. Intimacy was lacking in your relationship and she went looking somewhere else for it. It doesn't matter what other's definition of cheating is, if you feel cheated, you got cheated, and your breakup proves that.
2006-12-12 06:15:23 · answer #9 · answered by FucAlloYu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can cheat emotionally. the feelings and thoughts that she hared with the so called stranger blew up into something more. that's what hapens when you shre emotions
2006-12-12 06:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋