In real life i'm very extroverted and confident but online and on the phone im very insecure and shy?? why?
Seems like it would normally be the opposite.
2006-12-11 21:37:29 · 7 answers · asked by rusalka 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Possibly because people are a lot more judgemental online than they would dare to be in real life. On the one hand, you could say that the online world is a meritocracy, where you're judged by what you say, not who you are. The flipside to that is that the tribalism and judgemental attitude. If you post the wrong thing in the wrong forum, you'll get shouted down and abused on a level that would be shocking in real life.
It seems people are far more touchy and tend towards being utter f*ckwads online, which can be a bit daunting.
Most likely is that you're good at judging people face to face; you can pick up on body language and tonal differences, which is impossible online, so it's very hard to judge how conversations are going, and the reaction you are getting. Suddenly being deprived of being able to 'read' the person you're talking to is difficult, because it means you have to put a lot more effort into the technicalities of what you're saying, rather than the way you say it.
2006-12-11 21:50:45 · answer #1 · answered by Patrick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the common online extroversion usually comes from a sense of self-identity privacy that allows the person to be more frank with his/her inner thoughts (that in case is not joking!), if you are a quite extroverted person and show others as you really are maybe you only feel that writting your thoughts is quite a pain on the back as they might be taken more seriously and feel some kind of insecurity.
on a phone call you can't rely on non verbal language, you can't see the reactions of the person you are talking to (face expressions, etc) so you do not know if what you are saying is well accepted-interpreted.
(act 3)CONCLUSSION: just act yourself, many times people act-speak motivated by simplier things than we think!
insecurity usually goes by the hand with perfectionism don't be so pushy with yourself!
2006-12-11 23:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by nublao 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure about the online part but I know many people that hate to talk on the phone but will talk your ear off in person. My wife would be one of them!
2006-12-11 21:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by mark g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to have two personas...or to have fluctuations in personality. Perhaps the impersonal-ness or the unfamiliarity of the IM environment sparked an innate instinct to be shy?
2006-12-11 21:50:48 · answer #4 · answered by CagedSongbird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like it would normally be the opposite to me as well. Do you have a diagnosis of dyslexia? LOL. If not, maybe you just haven't met the right person online.
2006-12-11 21:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by aka white knight 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When we interact face-to-face with others, we unconsciously process a lot of visual information (changes in their expressions, postures etc.) that help us to adjust. You seem to find it hard to socialise without this information at hands. It's probably just a question of habit in which case it'll get better with time.
2006-12-11 23:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by imprology 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bamma say no yes maybe he dunno. Bamma say very interesting. Bamma say he can only use one ear on phone. Bamma say one ear he talk. Bamma say the other make him uncomfortable. Bamma think this weird. Bamma say maybe you switch ear see what happen. Bamma say good luck.
--
Bamma back for PS. Bamma say hmmm why you like that online. Bamma say you need cam. Bamma say you instantly open up and be yourself. Bamma say he bet it work. Bamma say bye now.
2006-12-11 21:46:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋