I'm so shy. I need help with my social skills. Even my family agrees that I'm too darn shy. Any advice?

Question

I'm just too shy. I guess it's because when I was growing up, I had crooked teeth and it just stuck. My teeth are fixed and I'm still socially inept...I feel rather insecure about myself. I'm even afraid to talk to guys..especially guys that I like. =/

I'm just too shy. I guess it's because when I was growing up, I had crooked teeth and it just stuck. My teeth are fixed now and I'm still socially inept...I feel rather insecure about myself. I'm even afraid to talk to guys..especially guys that I like. =/

Answer 1

You can't really blame yourself for being that way. It's really hard to trust people right away. But what you can do is, for example when you're at a party, analyze the people around you. Find those who seem friendly. And of course show them that you're friendly too. And if you think that you have some things in common, you can most definitely talk about those.

With guy issues, don't sweat it. If you're shy, just try not to answer back with just one word if he asks you something. Just be calm and natural, just be yourself. Find some guy friends first, too. So you can be comfortable when talking to them and who knows they might even help you out!

Just think good thoughts about yourself because when it grows in you, you start believing it, you start feeling it, and eventually you will BE it. and having confidence in yourself will most definitely show!

Answer 2

I had the same problem when I was younger, and still every once in a while. What I did was make it a point to talk to people I didn't know whenever it came up, like being the one to call to order the pizza, or chatting with the clerk at the store. Once you get better at talking with the people you already have to interact with, try to talk to one new person a week. For example, a good start is to actually tell that girl who has great hair at the coffee shop you go to that she has great hair. People almost always respond well to compliments, and that makes it easier to say something else to them.

It's always easier to talk to the same sex than to people you're interested in, so save talking to guys until you're comfortable. Then, start just by catching his eye and smiling. If he's interested, you'll be able to tell. And if he is interested, you'll feel enough confidence to say hello. If you just get a polite nod and he looks away, no big deal, it's not like you really put yourself on the line or anything.

Start with small steps, and keep at it. Like I said, in some situations I still feel too shy to speak up, but I always feel better if I make the effort to get past it. Every time you make a step in the right direction, you'll feel great about yourself and that will help next time it comes up.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You can communicate, judging by the above question, which is half the battle when it comes to social skills. The great thing about messing up when it comes to social interaction, is that, especially at your age of 19, you don't need to interact with many people again if things go wrong. You join, say, a dance club, try your best to make everyone like you, they all hate you, whoops - you just never go there again :-D.

As I have a meaty leash between my legs, I can't help you with forging female-female friendships, but I've a pretty good idea that they're akin to a vipers' nest in the middle of a minefield - in Iraq. Getting along with guys is easier. Looking reasonable is a huge help. You're only 19, surely you can pull it off visually. Wear a cute ponytail, tight t-shirt and jeans?! Smile when they talk, laugh and touch them (occasionally!) when they make jokes, give long-ish answers to their questions. What you talk about isn't as important as how you talk and act. Turn MTV on and make fun of some gal bouncing her rear off the hood of a car.

I'd still find it quite daunting being a girl and trying to make male friends - errr not helping here am I :-D - at bars, at least you know some of them are after girlfriends (but many will be looking for only sex). I'd prefer to meet some through university classes/sports clubs/etc.

Don't knock crooked teeth btw (Briton here). At least it increases the chances of your murderer getting caught if, after bludgeoning you, he takes a bite out of the lump of cheese on your dining-table. (Always go to bed having left a lump there me.)

Answer 4

I use to have your problem I would not say boo to anyone I need help I had to see a councillor My problems come from when i was little it took some time but now i am a very different person
and you can be to, Go to your doctor ask if they no of any good councillor you could see
May God Bless you and Keep you safe this Christmas and for many years to Come Merry Christmas

Answer 5

i'm shy too but i'm the male version.

let's play a game: i stand right infront of you NOW and we look straight into each others' eyes and let's see who runs away first.