Why/What should I do, my bf's mom dislikes me?

Question

I am 21 yrs old & my bf is 24. I have been dating him for 7 mnths now. We fell in love & I couldn't ask for a better relationship/bf. But his mom dislikes me. She seems to be very old fashioned and makes comments/attitudes that definitly show she dislikes me. He is white and I am japanese. Is it because of my race? Also, I can tell his family is tight on money so Im not sure if his mom is always uptight due to that. He is the only child & lives at home still so Im not sure if she is just protective. I have my head on straight, 3.4 GPA graduating in 4 yrs w/ a finance degree, I cook all the time for my bf. I know I am a good catch, but I just don't know why his mom doesn't see that I am good for her son. I care about him, but I want to call it quits sometimes since she makes me feel like crap/inadequate. I feel like she will never accept me. I dont know what to do. She makes remarks here and there like she is hinting to her son and me that he deserves someone "better". HELP!!!!please :(

Answer 1

show yourself how much you love him and marry him and tell his mom to love you for who you are and not what she thinks her son can do by getting better and let her know that you are not gay and she can kiss your japanese azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol in laws are bi th ch es i say f u c k em all..........its all about you and him not you him and mom tell his mom to get on yahoo answers and get a real life......lol gl dont give in to none of her childish ways show yourself more woman than she will ever be,fifnish school,get a hugh house, make millions and treat her like the grass you walk on

Answer 2

Oh darling don’t break your neck about it.

He’s her only child.
None of us are perfect.
She wants her son to be happy and in her head she has the perfect picture of what his perfect wife will be.
I’m Angolan married to an Afrikaans man.
I’m not exactly what my mother-in-law had in mind for her little boy.
I tried so hard to have a good relationship with my mother-in-law, as I love my husband very much and want to make him happy in every way possible.

After 13 years of being together and 8 years of marriage, husband has been able reassured me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him, he accepts me, he loves me, and if his family can’t see that, then that’s their loss.

What I can say to you is.
Never bad mouth his mother. After all she’ll always be apart of his life.
But stop trying so hard to impress her.
You can be everything he’s always wanted, but that’s not everything she’s always wanted.

Keep your focus on him, not her.
Make him happy.

Answer 3

u r not alone,most mum dun like the son's gf especially those single child or single parent type

ur race might be one of the reason for the dislike,another thing could be,becos he is the only son she have,if he had a stable relation,means she will sooner or later lost the attention from his son or having the ablity to keep taking care of the son which is very common

since u like the son so much n think u both make a gd pair,dun give up so soon,take some time n patient to win the mum heart but if after tries n tries n u dun succeed,u better give up this relation cos marriage is really NOT 2 ppl's matter,lots of ppl n things around can affect u both sooner or later as time passes,trust me

tips on how to handle his mum :-
*dun try to OVER impress him with ur cookingn understanding of him infront of her cos might make her feel being threaten tat she might be replace one day
*dun let ur bf supports ur idea instead of hers infront of her,only can let this happens behind her
*dun neglect her when u both r stick tight
*occasionally can offer to bring her along with u both's outing
*show cares when she is sick or not feeling well

but of cos when u really love this fellow so much then u need to put in all this affords to work out the relationship with his mum,if not,then jus leave it alone

all the best to you

Answer 4

First of all, stop thinking of yourself as inadequate. Any problems his mom has with you are of her own doing. A lot of mom's have their own idea of the wives they want for their sons and maybe your just not it. Regardless, you need to continue to be yourself, and as my marriage and family professor would say, "Turn on the charm." Treat her with respect and love her son to the best of your ability, she will not be able to argue with that. And don't give her the satisfaction of breaking up the relationship. You are dating him not his mom, so she should not be dictating your emotions and what you do in the relationship.

Answer 5

i think that she expected someone else to be with her son. i knew from the get go that whoever i wanted to spend the rest of my life with that his family would have to except me. i didnt want any inlaws that would try and affect our relationship. my husbands family loved me from the beginning. to know that the mom or dad disliked me would have made me leave. too bad for you. i do have a friend in your situation. she is mexican and her husband is japanese. its been some years and still the mom is distant. she didnt get any attention from his family at the wedding. no hug either. to top it off she cant have kids. most people are old fashioned at least in our generation. they are perfect for each other. they are both sweet. apparentely he didnt listen to his parents. stick it out if you feel that his love is genuine. if the family ignores you when visiting, doesnt talk to you even for a moment, say hi or bye, tell your bf that you dont feel comfortable and leave. i did go through a moment with my two sister inlaws and told the mom that i wasnt going to put up with thier sht, one hung up on me while having a heated conversation. i concluded that i wasnt going to be around anymore and during the holidays that my husband and children would be going without me. and let me tell you, i was ok with it. i didnt want to be selfish. she ended up talking to them, they called and apologized. everything is ok now. dont compromise. your boyfriend should be defending you. they dont have to love you but at least have some respect for you. they would want it in return.

Answer 6

ALL mom's say that about their baby boys. He will always be better than you and you will never be liked by her for taking him away. Just be the nice person you are, don't back down to her but be respectful. He needs to step up. Most guys won't come between his mother and gf so beware that if you got married it won't get better. When you have kids it won't get better

Answer 7

Race? Could be, but...maybe she is jealous because you have done better?Do not worry if SHE accepts you , only her son. What does he say? He loves YOU!