we are broke and she is not making any money and has alot of time on her hands. i have asked her nicely everyday but she keeps putting it off. i'm losing sleep over the bill collectors and the lawyers calling me at work and at home.i just do't know what to do.
2006-12-11 19:08:27 · 22 answers · asked by infernopac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
See if there are any non-profit credit counseling services in your area and make sure she comes with you to the appointment. They probably will put you on a tight budget and help you work out a plan to pay down your debt but it will also give her a chance to hear from an outside party how real your financial problems are. Good luck.
2006-12-13 06:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, first of all.
Sit down one night and lay all the bills on the kitchen table. Add up all of the bills that are current and past due. Explain to her that even a little extra money coming in is better than nothing at all.
Tell her that as much as you'd love to beable to continue to have her stay at home, it is just not feasible at this time.
Now, I say that with one exception in mind. If you have kids, then you must weigh the cost of daycare versus what you can expect her to bring in. Most times, a part-time gig will barely cover the daycare with nothing left over.
If there are no kids in the house, then I think she should, like you said, at least have a part-time job. Let her know that you are willing to help her with the things she normally does to keep up the house. You must mean it and do as you promised.
Once your bills are caught up, and you have some money put away, then I think it would be ok for her to quit working again.
Financial problems are the number 1 reason marriages fail, and I think your situation is one that is completely fixable.
Good luck
2006-12-11 19:21:48 · answer #2 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my wife. And then I tried asking her if she would like to be able to buy things on her own without having to come to me for money. You could try that approch or you could simply say that you and her could use a little extra cash flow to help out with the financial situation. With this you could show her the bills versus how much you actually make...make sure to factor in groceries and gas for the vehicle. This should show her the aspect how you are living versus how she might think you two are living.
2006-12-11 22:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak with her one a one-on-one. Make sure your sound serious. Advise her that you're loosing sleeps over unpaid bills and that you need her help. Ask her to look for a part-time job until such time when the finances are healthy again, then she may quit and do what she's doing now. Loosing sleeps and getting worries are not healthy for you physically. It may result in your job input and may even costs you to loose your job. Good luck!
2006-12-11 19:15:35 · answer #4 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest and truthful to your wife and sit down with her and tell her how you financial worries are really stressing you out. Ask her if she will find something part-time to help you get through this crisis.In this day and age,it takes two sometimes to keep things going in a home. Good Luck..
2006-12-11 19:12:26 · answer #5 · answered by Shortydeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do what my husband did to me, he planned a budget, and I had to stick to it. If I wanted to buy things, I had to work for them. Guess what? I have been working for about 3 months already, and I love it. Not only I spend money I want, I also help him with some bills. Or at least I don't spend the money he makes.
2006-12-11 19:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by Alma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a married couple you are a "team" and should share responsibilities.
You should sit your wife down and go over your financial situation in detail. She will probably be more willing to help out if she sees the financial picture and is made to realize that you guys are in it together.
2006-12-11 19:14:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her it's the 21st century and women are no longer required to stay in the kitchen and that she needs to get off her butt and help pay for her upkeep. I would never make my fiance work and pay for my things when I am perfectly capable of earning money myself.
2006-12-11 19:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you people need to talk,ask her what insecurities she is facing,for the job,i am sure she would be eager to also tell you about it,let her open up,find a job for her to her interests
assure her that you are there for her if she faces any problem
tell her that two of your future would go merrily if she supports you,& you need her in difficult times which soon will leave if she gives you the support you really need
god bless !!
2006-12-11 19:16:26 · answer #9 · answered by abc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never tell your wife to do anything. Maybe you need to be more positive, finding a new job can be overwhelming, look for one with her. encourage her, don't put her down for not working, or don't make her feel bad. good luck
2006-12-11 19:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋