Big dilemma..does a " Wood Chuck" chuck wood?

Answer 1

First, what exactly is a woodchuck? Why, it's a North American small marmot (a hibernating groundhog), of course. The most common variety (Marmota monax) has coarse fur that is red and brown, in case you wanted to do some woodchuck watching from the comfort of your home/apartment/dorm room.
Second, can woodchucks chuck wood at all? Well, the answer to this one isn't really important, since the age-old question actually assumes that the woodchuck cannot, in fact, chuck wood.
I'm referring to the use of the word "if" in the question. If a woodchuck were able to chuck wood, the question would be more like, "How much wood DOES a woodchuck chuck WHEN a woodchuck DOES chuck wood?"
Since that isn't the question, we must infer that a woodchuck cannot chuck wood, but as I mentioned a moment ago, the question is hypothetical, thus it does not require the animal to actually have wood chucking abilities.
Incidentally, however, it does seem exceedingly strange that an animal named woodchuck is not able to chuck wood. It is like a firefighter that won't, or shin guards that don't.
So, for that simple reason, I will henceforth cease to perpetuate the misnomer and will, instead, refer to the hibernating groundhog/marmot as Marmota monax.)
Third, what do we mean by chuck? The obvious meaning here is, of course, a specific grade of ground beef (as in ground beef, ground round, ground chuck, ground sirloin). But since the word "chuck" appears to be acting as a verb in the question, we'll have to move to the much more obscure verb meaning, which is "to toss" or "to cast aside."
Fourth, how much wood could a Marmota monax toss if he had the physical ability and the motivation to do so?
Interesting you should ask. A researcher in New York actually compiled some data on a Marmota monax chucking dirt to build a burrow and theorized that if it could chuck the same amount of wood, weight-wise, that it could dirt, then the answer is simply 700 pounds.

Answer 2

since you would give a chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, a woodchuck would need wood to chuck and would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, but would anyone else give a chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.. I would! ;)
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Answer 3

Brilliant!!