after broke up with my bf since 2 years ago, suddenly I met him again, but now he live away from me,but he asked me to give him one more chance, n he want to come back to me, then I accept him back,....but my friend at work also loves me much, n I know that, he didnt know that I have already with my eks bf again rite now. but, I can't see him sad by refuse his love to me...coz he is too kind to me...then I told him that I will give him chance for that...I accept him too....coz I dont want to hurt 2 ppl I love...so what do u think this is rite or wrong?? what should I do now?? I dont want to hurt both of them...
2006-12-11 18:34:59 · 10 answers · asked by Sherinn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Um... what?
2006-12-11 18:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by rockingharder 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many times we don't want to make a decision, for not hurting someone ... But it is not true love when there are more than 2 person, but just some similar feeling. Your true love must be the one you can share everything, so you'll need to know very well the person, maybe for a little long time. You have been knowing the 1st b/f for long time, so you can say who he is. The 2nd one you just have been seeing him "too kind" - kindness is just 1 of many quailities of a person, but it's also an important one. I know a friend who says he loves his wife but he can't help cheating on her, because he suffers about many things in this relationship, and after him, she loves him too, but she's does not feel happy either, even though she is very pretty and much luckier than many other people, having many things that other people can not even dream about. When I saw her, I guess I know an important reason why. She did not look kind When you are kind, your heart can satisfy a big part of yourself and make other/s happy, too.
So, my ideal is: If you are already with the 1st one - now you can't say what you should do to him, you can't change your decision in such a short time yourself, right ? And because you always know the 2nd one is there loving you, but you still want to be with the 1st one, and you can not leave the 2nd one for the 1st ... so you do not really love any of them yet, and their love to you is not strong enough yet. So keep as "light" relationship as possible with the 1st and just don't make any clear decision to the 2nd one, but keep friendship with him, and keep getting to know him, until the day you can say who really wins your heart.
Some one may will tell you to be open, honest to both, but that way 1 or maybe 2 of them will 'back-off", and you may miss a great guy, who is just a little more easy to feel hurt than courageous, but may be still a great guy, even better in personality than the other.
2006-12-11 19:00:09 · answer #2 · answered by Juliet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S WRONG! you're trying to break a golden rule of life, you're trying please EVERYONE. but these 2 ppl clearly have conflicting needs I.E. you.
I think maybe (and this just my humble opinion) you have to be honest with them both, tell them about the other person, and say you need space and time to think. Then decide, somehow, which one means more and gently break the bad news to the other party.
At WORST you'll maybe hurt one of them, but at least you were honest and open with them and they'll hopefully respect that.
I think if you just explain things how they are, as they are, no-one will be too hurt, just a case of bad timing or whatever. Ce la vie!
If you carry on as you are you WILL hurt BOTH of them, if you do end up keeping either of them there'll no doubt be some trust issues cropping up because they'll be thinking of the time they found out about the other one etc. etc blah blah bad news. Don't do it.
Shoot the puppy!!it's hard but you can't have both dude, unless they're into that...lol
2006-12-11 19:02:15 · answer #3 · answered by sa1insomniak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are beyond wrong because at the end you are hurting them both .Ask yourself why you and your ex broke up in the first place and if he hurt you why still take him back he will do it again give the other guy a chance maybe he is the one but be honest dont lie to them.
2006-12-11 18:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being a people pleaser, be cruel to be kind,
why did you break up with your boyfriend in the first place?
did you feel that you dont deserve what he is giving you
stop this madness, you are being selfish by keeping your friends, you will hurt his feelings no matter what, but atleast tell the truth and dont give him a chance when he has no chance, because you dont love him you only pity your friend,dont be selfish please, tell your friend what is going on ,you dont even love your friend, i f you love him you would tell the truth, you would have honesty in your relationship. i think you dont want to loose them both because you benefit from them, but come on you obviously cant keep that a secret forever, end your relationship, either with your friend or your ex boyfren, choose only one and stick to it, love is a twin of hurt and pain, dont lie, stop lying to yourself, and to those people you think you love but you are hurting right now, dont be unfair to yourself and to the both of them,wake up@!
2006-12-11 18:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its wrong,because sooner or later your not going to have enough energy to do this and it will probably fall apart, and you'll end up hurting both of them instead you should pick the one you feel the most comfortable with the one that you can be yourself with,and the other one be as sincere as you can be with him.
2006-12-11 18:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by thebestqb2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what your heart says. Forget about whether they are hurt. Only they can control their feelings. And our feelings are changeable. Off hand, I'd say neither one is really the one you want. It's more that you are flattered by their attention.
2006-12-11 18:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by Everyman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them both be friends. There is no need to tie yourself with one. Just like wine...you taste different ones until you find the one that is satisfying. As women, we tend to stick to one man and go with that one. I say date both and let them know so they won't say you were unfaithful. Let them know that you are keeping your options open. Hell men do it all the time.
Good Luck!!:)
2006-12-11 18:40:10 · answer #8 · answered by Miss. Tee98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's good to you i guess its ok to give hime a chance, but it sounds bad to me! usually those kinds of situations never ever work out. EVER.
2006-12-11 18:42:56 · answer #9 · answered by theknappy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look you playing with both be honest with them and let them decide
2006-12-11 18:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by king of spain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋