Nagging is exhausting. He is 14 years old.
2006-12-11 18:27:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Switch the battle around and put him in the offensive. Simply ask him if he got his clothes and lunch ready for the next day. If he says no, simply ask why? He would then NOT be able to give you a valid reason, then tell him he has 10 minutes to get it done, and if it is not done you will take away a privileges or ground him for the day. He will get tired of being grounded eventually and just get it done before he is asked to, just keep asking until you are comfortable that he will do it on his own from then on. Do not make a big fight over it, he will know he can get under skin and will refuse just because of that. No one says you have to listen to or respond to his complaining about it, just do not say anything except like "the clock is ticking" or something witty like that, most of all remain calm (I know how hard that will be but it is important.)
2006-12-11 18:43:33 · answer #1 · answered by lisads1973 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try putting him on a schedule. Get him to type a list his daily needs in the form of a checklist. If he makes his own list, and is responsible for it, then you won't be nagging him. I know he is a little old for rewards, but maybe some incentive would help him stick to the list. For a week of staying on the list, he can have a friend over for dinner on a school night, or he can earn a movie or game rental for the weekend. If he slips, and does not complete the tasks in the timetable set for him, then he has to work longer to get the reward. The reward should not put you out financially, but should be something that he would like. Then as this becomes more successful, it will (hopefully) become more of a habit.
If he forgets, then try to not compensate for his mistake (by giving him lunch money or packing his lunch for him.) When I was in high school the cooks would sometimes take pity on me if I had forgotten my lunch, and they would make me a peanut butter sandwich. Although I was nourished, they were pretty gross sandwiches, and I was embarrassed to eat them in front of my friends. I definitely remembered my lunch the next day! The tough love approach might help him remember if the "personal schedule" does not do the trick.
Good luck!
2006-12-12 03:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by k8_is_great 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you waited to long to put your foot down now. Nagging is not going to work. He does know how to make a lunch, don't do it and after he goes to school without one he will then realize that you really are serious and will start making his own. Clothes??? When he wants to wear his favorite and it is not washed and dried, he will learn pretty quick to put in by the washer, in a month he will be washing his own clothes. Don't feel guilty about waiting on him hand and foot. He will survive. You created this now be firm and he will be more independant and a better person for it. You are not being mean by refusing to do this, he will not suffer, one day without a lunch will not harm him. Try this and stick to it, it will work. You are a mother, not a maid. Don't argue with him about this, just make a stand and stick to it. You are the adult and if you can't sit down and discuss this and it makes sense to him then this is the action you will take. But remember you are the adult. Nothing worse than an adult coming down to a child's level in an argument. Especially a teenager who knows it all. Best of luck. Keep your wits, common sense, and you will prevail.
2006-12-12 02:45:27 · answer #3 · answered by calla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 14 and plenty old enough to prepare his own clothes and lunch.
Put your foot down, he knows what you expect, he's just not following through with it.
Try preparing an outfit he doesn't particularly care for or not packing his lunch.
He may go hungry for a day and realize he didn't like it so much.
If this doesn't work, take away time spent in front of the computer or tv.
And make sure to let him know why his privileges were taken away.
Discipline is key.
2006-12-12 02:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it causing him to be late to school? If not, then why fight him about it? If he is getting to school on time, and eating lunch, what's the problem? Sure, it would be nice for his time management to get things ready the night before, but why stress if it isn't hurting anything?
Don't stress yourself by nagging. Doesn't help things most of the time...especially with 14 year old boys. :-)
2006-12-12 02:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by Brandon W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just warn him that you wont be preparing his clothes for him anymore. If you are the one doing it for him. If it means he gets late because he prepares them himself in the morning, then let him be late; he will learn. Tell him about all these first and tell him the consequences of not preparing on time; and of being late.
Don't just cut back on both clothes & lunch at the same time. Introduce each at a time.
2006-12-12 07:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no need to make a long answer for this
Just stop making his lunch
He'll get the point and so will his stomach!
Wash his clothes and leave them out ... if they aren't folded within 2 days and put away they are garbage.
At 14 peers will play a role and i'm sure that he WILL change.
2006-12-12 03:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by A!mEe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem cept , I am a girl and I was 12 at the time. I hated to iron my clothes, but lunch was a problem. (I buy my lunch) Try and make it something he he will enjoy.
2006-12-12 09:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by --; cookie. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP DOING IT FOR HIM.
Either he will learn to do it by himself or he will go to school in ulgy clothes and hungry.
2006-12-12 03:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVENT TAUGHT HIM THAT YET??? WHAT WERE YOU DOING FROM THE AGES OF 5 TO 14?
2006-12-12 04:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋