My husband is in the military so of course if something were to happen to him (GOD FORBID), there would be life insurance money left behind. He has 50% going to his mother and 50% going to me. We have 2 children and his mother already has her own husband. I don't want it to sound like I am being greedy and want it all to myself...it's not really even about the money (however, it is important that we can support ourselves if something were to happen), but it is more about the principle. I also found out that his body would be left to her so she can bury him. Both of these ideas are bullcrap to me. I think he is my husband and the day I married him he no longer belonged to his mother anymore. I don't think his mother would like the idea of her MIL having those benefits when it comes to her husband... so she gets to bury both mine and her husband?? Hell no... Or do you think I am just being over-protective?
2006-12-11 16:51:32 · 6 answers · asked by ღ♥ Katie ♥ღ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Maybe I should add more details... my husband is very close to his mom. Personally, I think he has screwed him over a whole of a hell lot and feels bad about it now and being so close and protective of her is his way of saying "it's okay". But when I asked him "What the heck is she going to do with $200,000 when we have 2 kids heads to put a roof over and to send to college?" He responded with, "Well, I doubt she would even accept all the money except money to pay for the funeral and she would help you support the kids with the rest" ...So then his mother gets to be my husband after, or what?! LoL What the heck is going on?! I think after I spoke with him about it, he agrees with me more, but I just cant help but still be puzzled over this and it still kind of bothers me... I feel untrusted and like his mother comes first and is being held on a higher pedistal... Keep in mind though, I am 9 months pregnant so my hormones are crazy! LoL Thanks!!
2006-12-11 17:01:51 · update #1
I dont even mind if he were to leave money to her, but 50%?! AND HIS BODY?! Wow...way to completely take my husband away from me...I think, as his wife, I should be planning his funeral, just like I would expect him to do for me. But he says I am put 2nd on the papers to plan his funeral if his mother cant emotionally handle it... That pisses me off!
2006-12-11 17:03:47 · update #2
To the person who answered "If he is the one working, then he should decide who gets to be a beneficiary. ":
He is the one who has an job outsied of the house and makes money, but I'm at home doing a job too that lasts 24/7. So I wouldn't exactly say he is the "only one working". Some people don't understand how much work a stay-at-home mother/wife's "job" can be....
2006-12-11 17:11:40 · update #3
LoL... I am not a crackhead and theres not reason why he should be worried. We are happily married (Well, as happy as you can be when married LoL JK!). We have our minor issues here and there but nothing major... if we were on the verge of divorce or had major marital issues, then I would understand but this is not the case.
2006-12-11 17:26:20 · update #4
My husband and I had a discussion about this not too long ago he had 100,000 going to his mother and 100,000 going to his brother and the rest to me and our 2 children. His parents stole all of his money when he was in Iraq the first time before we were married. When he came home for r & r he thought he'd have several thousand and he had -700 in his account. He has never said any thing to them. When he got back from Iraq and took his own finances on again and took them off of his account they filed bancruptcy 3 months later. I finally had him convinced they do not need it, they dug their own hole and they can climb back out on their own. He now has it so I would get it all, I hope I never get it but if something ever were to happen Heaven forbid, we would be okay financially. Good Luck and talk to your husband. If you it worries you alot go to his superior, they should be very helpful and will talk to him also. Family is first and your husband should feel this way also. If he doesn't he needs to get help.
2006-12-11 23:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by katbeek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a momma's boy and has never cut the cord. Sorry , but this can be true of even the manly men - not just the girly men.
He's always seeking her approval - right?
But you've got to be honest - you knew that about him before you married him - be honest now.
He's used to being pushed around by women, so just apply for the extra insurance you need and make him sign on the dotted line.
Are you close to any of his friends?
Have them talk some sense into him.
Tell him how much you admired the times, he put his family first.
Tell him you want him to act like a MAN now.
2006-12-13 06:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by Salami and Orange Juice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would be having a real serious talk with my husband. I question why he would do something like this. Its as if he half trusts you, which is a slap in the face. I think he would come around to my side, or when it came to the bed room, I'd get mine in the first 50% of the time, and the hell with him in the second half, let Mother worry about that too!!!
2006-12-11 16:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by MommaSchmitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the mother should get nothing...not to sound mean, but he should only worry bout you and his kids..unless you're a crack head or something and he's afraid you'd blow the money and not take care of the kids
2006-12-11 17:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by NONAME 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I probably would talk about it. He needs to provide for you and his children first. You are right, he belongs to you now and needs to realize that you and his kids are now the focus in his life. 100% needs to go to you.
2006-12-11 16:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is the one working, then he should decide who gets to be a beneficiary.
2006-12-11 16:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by Sanmigsean 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋