Is it considered cheating for a married man to be emailing with a single girl?

Question

Emailing consistently, about life, their spouse, just day to day stuff...

I am not interested in him at all, I just enjoy him as a friend.

The wife doesn't know about it, I don't even know her

Answer 1

Yes, just ask his wife.

Answer 2

Well, if you really do think of him "only" as a friend and if he sees you the same way, it shouldn't be a problem. But. I do think it is a bit strange his wife doesn't know about it.... If i were the wife, i would certainly NOT be too happy if i found out my husband has been talking to some woman c o n s i s t e n t l y, a woman i know nothing about but who my spouse has told a lot about me! That feels wrong, your wife is supposed to be your best friend.
Maybe you would consider asking him to let his wife know about you? I don't mean an ultimatum, just... somehow gently. That would put your conscience at ease and it would be fair to his spouse, too, which is even more important - in marriage i'd expect my partner to tell me about a person important enough for him to be talking to so often.

Answer 3

You too are judging people you do not know ("I think the only people that have an issues ..." Sweetheart, how would you feel if your husband met someone for coffee when he was out of town? Be honest. Well, that's probably how his wife would feel if she found out. So therefore, you are voluntarily undertaking an unnecessary action that could cause pain to another person. In Buddhism this is considered a selfish and negative action, and is to be avoided. No people do not divorce over a cup of coffee. They divorce over fear, hurt, and feelings of betrayal. And you help create those feelings. Don't be in such strong denial about your behavior ... it does not suit you well. Your hyper defensiveness, and the speed with which you attack suggests that you came here hoping for reassurrance that what you are doing is "just fine" and are upset that others don't agree with you. No, technically, you are not doing anything "wrong". But that doesn't make it right either. A self-honest, moral, caring person with a kind heart would not be having coffee with this man. It would be another thing entirely if his wife came along (Yes, I DO know she lives in another city), or if you were closer friends with the wife than you are with him. In either of these situations, there is noting wrong with him having a cup of coffee with you, a single woman. But that is not the case, it it?

Answer 4

I guess that all depends on the thought behind the action: is the married man looking for validation beyond his spouse? It the single girl a cousin whom it is obivous friendly?
I wouldn't want MY husband to start down that road....and I'd WOULD consider that it could very possibly lead to actual 'cheating' in a physical sense and not just a mental sense.

Answer 5

No, I don't think so. I don't believe in 'emotional cheating' I think it's made up by insecure house wives who watch Oprah and Dr. Phil just a little too much and take it a little too seriously.

I do not have a problem with my lover having female friends even if they are single and pretty. I'm secure in my relationship and with myself. It's a bit possessive to say to your spouse that he or she cannot be friends with the opposite sex. It also shows what a low opinion you have of yourself and your spouse if you can't trust that men and women can infact be friends. Good friends talk a lot about life, their spouse and just day to day stuff.

Answer 6

Cheating is like pornography: there's no hard and fast rule for what it is, but you know it when you see it.

You might ask yourself these questions:
1. Would I want my spouse to have a similar relationship?
2. If all the communication was suddenly exposed would anyone feel hurt?

Or use an easier method: if you need to ask whether or not it's appropriate then it's probably not appropriate.

Answer 7

Yes this is definately cheating. As I told my EX husband (who had his own "single friend") as I was leaving his a ss, cheating isn't just sex. Anything he was sharing with his "friend" (who by the way is now his wife) that he wasn't sharing with me, whether it is sexual, emotional, or mental, is in fact cheating. I think your married "friend" knows this also or else he'd tell his wife.

Answer 8

You already know the answer to your question. He should be emailing his wife if he has to email. He wouldn't like it if his wife was emailing a single man...unless he wanted a divorce and was looking for an excuse...

Answer 9

no i wouldnt consider this cheating as long as you are just talking as friends and nothing else all she is is a friend now if you are starting to have feeling for her or talking as more than friends i would say stop it as soon as you can if you love your wife but i would look at it as a friend as long as nothing is going on i am sure your wife talks to single guys also

Answer 10

It might not be cheating but it's not appropriate either. He has no right to talk about his spouse or their life together, bet it won't be long he'll be hitting on you. Why don't you call his wife and ask her how she feels about it? If it means nothing and he doesn't have ulterior motives he won't care. Don't let him use you.

Answer 11

Why can't he talk to a male friend? Do you know this "single" girl? I wouldn't be happy if my husband was talking to a single woman via email, phone or in person. He should be talking to you maybe you need to talk to him about it. If not then try counselling before it gets to the next level.