I am 23 and have been divorced now for almost 6 months and have two wonderful children from my past marraige.. The problem is, even though I am very comfortable financially and emotionally, my current status freaks guys out... What can I do???
2006-12-11 16:32:00 · 14 answers · asked by michellerose_barkley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I must also add, after seeing one or two people comment on the fact that it is a little soon after only 6 months, that I have been seperated, living in 2 seperate houses with full cutody for over a year now. So I am not just plunging back into the dating scene so soon. I has been enough time for me.
2006-12-11 17:15:41 · update #1
I think your fears are getting the best of you. I think a good man wouldn't mind a woman with children. Further, there are men who would even find it attractive that you have children. A good friend of mine has raised a number of children with a woman who he met who already had them. He thought it was great.
But you ARE 23 years old... and guys your age will think your situation is a bit weighty. I would think you'd want to focus on men 5 or more years older than you are now. You're right, guys your age for the most part will freak out.
As for what guys want, that really depends on the guy. Any healthy guy will want to be an important part of your life. That's about all I can say... But at your age, your prospects are limited because I don't think most men your age are all that grown up. And let's face it, you've got a lot of life experience if you've got two kids and are already divorced. And women tend to be more mature than men at the age you are. So keep adding it up and I keep coming back to --- date older men.
Hope that helps.
Good luck!
2006-12-11 17:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you consider dating guys around 29 or so , they wouldn't be so inclined to act adversely because you have 2 children already and have more likely had there fill of the single life. If somewhere down the line you found the right guy and would consider another child , that would be a plus also. In my case I was 29 and my wife was 23 , I had a son by a previous marriage and we hooked up and had a child together also after we married. We've been together 20 years now.
2006-12-11 16:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to find men who are in a more or less same position as yourself, also divorced and with children of their own. the reason being is that it might be difficult for single men to become a part of an instant family and a father to someone else children.
Also, darling it has only been six months since your divorce, try to date casually and not spill your whole life story right off the bat. let men get to know you for who you are and not your circumstances. Don't be desperate, have confidence, it may take a little time but you will find your true partner if you just relax about the whole dating scene, it's all about you right now so have fun and be careful. Good luck.
2006-12-11 16:44:20 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI:) I am a 24 year old, who just recently got divorced too, but I don't have any kids. I can understand why guys are freaking out about your current status, you will just have to wait, and the right guy will come along, just give it some time. Just remember good things come to those who wait. I also feel like the guys I've dated sooo far, only want to get in my pants, so I gotta deal with that.
2006-12-11 16:38:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find men with the same education level. Being comfortable financially is easy when you divorce a rich man or come from a wealthy family. Smart men wouldn't be so impressed.
2006-12-11 16:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait 'til you're a little bit older or date older guys who are also divorced with kids and then have your own little happy ending like the Brady Bunch, except it'll be a bit more dysfunctional these days.
Most guys don't want someone with kids. Hell, most guys I know in their 20's don't even want kids. It's not until their baby crazed wife 'forgets' her birth control that sane men become fathers.
2006-12-11 16:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready to jump back on the horse after only 6 months, so be it, to each man his own. I would take time out for me and my kids. A good man will come. But it does take time. Take time to get to know him, no rush. I don't know the circumstances of your previous marriage but the second time around I would take my time and get everything you've ever wanted in this one. Its a second chance lease on love, make it good don't settle. You could also try to attend salsa lessons for YOU. I enjoy them.
2006-12-11 16:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by UCRPanaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do except wait until your children turn 18 years of age. Perhaps then having children won't matter so much.
Your first and foremost responsibility now is taking good care of your children. And most guys don't want to end up being second in terms of your attention and love.
2006-12-11 16:39:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the words of Jeff Foxworthy...." Give me a Beer and I want to see something naked. "
2006-12-11 16:57:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be strong and confident in YOUR own life and good things will come back to you.
2006-12-11 16:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋