My wife of 13 years had an on-line affair with an old friend of hers and now wants to leave me. She wants to have split custody of our children. She would take our 6 yr. old daughter. I would keep our 2 yr. old son. I would like to know if a court would ever allow this. I am assuming (maybe incorrectly) if both parties agree then it would be allowed. She would like one support to cancel the other's out. Does anyone know if this can achieved?
2006-12-11 16:11:05 · 10 answers · asked by Craig 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If both parties agree before the judge, the court will allow it.
But you gotta be a friggin' dork to split your kids up. You both ought to have your heads examined.
What a couple of selfish idiots
2006-12-11 16:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by johngolfs2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine just recently went through this with her kids, and (ex) husband. Her daughters are 13 and 10. They tried this for about 2 months until they noticed the kids grades dropping in school. It was affecting them more than they showed. I personaly do not think it is wise to seperate siblings. I hate it when my son is sitting here crying when my stepson has to go back to his mothers. Think of what is best for your children. If you want to cancel out CS, then do joint custody where the children stay together, but they stay at both houses for the same amount of time. And if agreed upon, the court will make both parents responsible for 50% of everything. Hopefully yall can decide on a better solution for the children's sake.
2006-12-11 16:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by lilmonkeefoofoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I'm wondering why you would let be achieved? Go get a lawyer and fight to keep custody of both your kids. Make her pay child support. She's the one that chose an old flame over her family. Also, I think having your kids together (versus splitting them up) will help them in the long run.
Go to a lawyer message board. You will get much better info there. See the one below. I used it with good results.
2006-12-11 16:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by thkiabdks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can any mother leave her child behind. That's just wrong, as well as what she did. The court would look at your side that she was the one to leave and she would be the bad guy in the whole thing. I think your right about the payments but I'm sure someone would be watching to make sure the kids were taken care of. It takes two to really care for children. i have been a single mother for almost 10 years now.It's not an easy road.
2006-12-11 16:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by cas46per 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts may frown upon the children being separated, but if you are both in agreement, they can't really change it. What you need to do is go to the courthouse with a friend (NOT a relative). One of you needs to file a complaint for joint custody (not as bad as it sounds), and file for joint custody. The courts will process the papers, and you hand the copy to be served to your friend. Your friend hands them to your wife. She fills out the reply papers, saying that she agrees with everything that you say, and she hands it to the clerk. They process it, then the friend serves you.
Another way to do it is to write up an agreement, go to a notary with your picture ID's and SS cards and have it notarized. Then file it at the court house.
Unless one of you files for child support, the court will not order it.
2006-12-14 14:26:40 · answer #5 · answered by Bachman-ette 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The family courts main concern is for the welfare of the children, not what is convenient for the parents. They may agree to this arrangement (been done before), but also may have concerns about splitting the kids up. It is correct that no one would have to pay support.
2006-12-11 16:24:01 · answer #6 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is totally unfair to the children to split them up. They have a right to be with their siblings.
You should just push for full custody or split custody by each of you taking them for 6 months or something.... or one have custody except for summers when school is out.... etc. But the children should not be split up because adults act stupid!
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-11 16:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant just split up your children, its unhealthy in all aspects; they are all they have... is each other (in knowing how each other feels- even at that young age) in this difficult time. your both ill.
maybe you could split a 3 1/2 days a week with each parent (both of them together). if your going to different states, that would be harder, but some sort of healthy agreement can be reached, provided you both put them first.
in any case, contact a lawyer about what is allowed in your state. if you cant afford one, there is legal aid available in every state and every county. look in the phone book, or call your local courthouse to ask about legal aid contact info.
personally, over my dead cold body would i split my kids up, and even then, they wont be (its in my will).
just my opinion,
mom of 4
2006-12-11 17:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think it would depend on the judge but I know people that have done it and in that case neither paid child support. But do you two really think it's fair to the children? I mean, I'd think the girl would think you don't want her and the boy would think the Mom didn't want him. I'd be prepared for emotional issues with the both of them.
2006-12-11 16:18:46 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes it can be
2006-12-12 03:10:06 · answer #10 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋