confidence issues?

Question

what are some ways that I can improve my self confidence?

I've had a pretty long history with this. I still have an issue with my appearance. I had a slight case of anorexia back in high school that went on for a couple of months...now I believe i have muscle dysmorphia (but i never go the lengths of using steroids). I just never feel happy with who I am.

I think that I am afraid of humiliation. Whenever the teacher goes around the room asking everyone a question...I get very nervous knowing that it is my turn to speak. If I were ever to go to an acting class..i would probably faint. Whenever I am in a large crowd...i feel like everyone is paying attention to me. So when I walk in that area..I'm not relaxed.

thanks for the answers

there's another situation..but you these answers may already answer it

whenever i feel like i angered someone...but they don't say it...i keep thinking about it, like it is on my conscious. And i keep saying sorry even if i don't need to.

Answer 1

I'm not a Dr. but I have a slight anxiety disorder, and I suffer from this as well. It has to be you that fixes things, which it sounds like you already know. Ask yourself, why does it matter how people percieve you? Are you afraid of rejection. and if so why? You cant control what people are thinking. It's really none of our buisness what people think. Just constantly remind yourself...other people have a lot of other things on their minds than you. Anxiety is the pits, but it means you are more aware of your surroundings than you need to be. My guess is that you are bright and very persceptive. Develop this more and realize you are not alone. Reach out and try to make someone else feel comfortable. This will improve how you feel about yourself as well. In my opinion you are already better than most people in that you are AWARE of things. Give yourself time...its a mind set...you'll learn, I can tell!

Answer 2

I have almost the same problem. I'm one of those people that thrives on praise but is deathly afraid of a harsh word or making a mistake. I get really nervous when I have to speak. I used to be in band and every time I had to play by myself I would get really nervous and mess up (which did not make my teacher happy which made me more nervous). Confidence is something you need to cultivate more carefully than even the mose deicate of plants. Try putting yourself in positive situations that are very slightly outside your comfort zone. Try not to be in large crowds for now. Go to a really unpopular movie with a few friends or take a walk/drive around town and get a warm drink in a small and unbusy cafe. This is going to sound lame, but it's true: take baby steps. Confidence is like a card tower; hard to build, one card at a time, and even a small breeze can knock it down. Also, during class, check your answers with a friend beforehand so that when it's your turn to speak, you have, if not the right answer, a common one. This way you won't feel silly or stupid because at least one other person in the room has the same answer as you. Lack of confidence is also a fear of being different; try getting funky shoelaces or some other small change. Compliments will only help your confidence grow!!! Good luck, I really hopyou succeed in becoming a more confident person!!!

Answer 3

Is there anything in your life that may be a clue as to why you feel this way? Did you have a parent or someone in your life who was overly stern or abusive?

Was there any one incident that you may-have found distressing?

Sometimes thinking of something that happened in the past can help "turn a key" and unlock some insight into a problem. Which is good as it gives you a starting point on which to deal with your concern and to build from there. Sometimes there is no one incident and that's just the way we're built.

I have to say positive affirmations are very helpful if you're disciplined and do them regularly. A lot of your shyness has to do with not liking your self and not accepting your self ..you need to remind your self that you re OK, you really are a great person and by extension you should try to encourage thoughts such as i am a great person so naturally people want to spend time with me and try to get comfortable with the idea of you being the life of the party for example....it is possible to change the way you feel and about yourself just give yourself time, change like that doesnt happen over night, it can seem long and slow but you can change your thinking and the end result is you should look forward to life and want to enjoy it some more

Answer 4

I have lived with a birth defect that is in the place of my right ear and recently get a nasty scar on my chin so I know a little something about self esteem I think the best thing for you to do is talk to friends and make a list of things that are good about you in what ever ways also remember that the public's opinion should not be what makes you do things so when you feel tense in a room think to yourself that what happens happens and as long as you can keep a REAL smile on your face you can shrug stuff off remember this humiliation is only as bad as you make it

Answer 5

Why don't you like people paying attention to you? It must be that it's because you're not comfortable with yourself. You need to accept yourself before you can let others accept you and you need to become comfortable being you. I'm just now gaining self-confidence, and I think it came by taking risks, traveling outside of your comfort zone (which is SO uncomfortable) and seeing that you will survive the risks that you take. The success helps you feel better about yourself, and soon you won't care about what other people think because you know that your own opinion of yourself is what matters.

Answer 6

Sometimes I think it's not so much a self confidence issue as an over concentration on yourself.

Stop thinking about yourself and what others might think of you. Take all the focus off yourself. Instead of wondering what others might think of what you say if the teacher calls on you, concentrate on what the OTHERS are saying, what sounds good, what sounds stupid, what you might use or build on, etc.

Try to take your focus off yourself, It's a habit you can break but it takes time!

Answer 7

dont be afraid of living. i had the same problem in junior high. but then i met my current gf who i honestly would've thought i didnt deserve but we've been together now for 6 months and she helped me figure out who i am. show ppl who you are no who you pretend to be. if your smart, be smart in class. if your not very smart then just do your best and if ppl try to humiliate you then they're ******* and not worth knowing.

Answer 8

i felt like that when i was in high school... i know how you feel, my friend once told me to forget about everybody else that they were not even paying attention to me... my situation was so bad that i didn't even go to the cafeteria by myself because i thought that they were staring at me. once you get older that would go away...good luck!!!

Answer 9

some people are afraid of failing and some are afraid of succeeding because then they would have to rethink the bad rep they've given themselves...which are you?

Answer 10

Just try being your self. you are not relaxed, because you are trying to be somone you are not.