We have been married 20 years and 6 months ago she got caught by my son with a guy from her work kissing.Lying on her bed at her apartment 3 days after she left me unannounced. She had been staying out late and making excuses why she didnt call after work. Then she up and moved out while i was at work. I found out from my son he walked in on them at her apartment .she was seeing a guy she works with While i worked at night. for 6 months we talked,argued and hated each other. Then she came home to try and work it out. My biggest concern is that i am willing to work it out but she wont wear her ring. I want her to let all the guys at her work know she is now back with her husband.She doesnt think that matters to guys but i think it does.Especially now that the guy she works with is going to tell all the other guys he f**** her and she cheated on her husband already. I asked her to wear it and she always has excuses like oh i just put lotion on or i snagged it on the wall at work. HELP!!
2006-12-11 15:43:05 · 16 answers · asked by The Loss of Love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she's not wearing her ring then she definitely isn't concerned with working the marriage out. She's just playing with your emotions or using you and saying that she wants to work things out as an excuse. If she can't put that much effort into your marriage as such a simple thing as wear her wedding ring, which is supposed to be a symbol of your vows and love for each other, then she doesn't care. Me and my husband split up for two weeks once and even then I wouldn't take my ring off b/c I wouldn't accept it. Sounds like you're very forgiving and you deserve someone that will treat you as you treat them. Move on and be happy with your life.
2006-12-11 16:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by InternetJunkie83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it. If he wants to have an affair and attract a woman, why wouldn't he just take it off? Unless he wants to attract a female who doesn't care that he's married but then he wouldn't be trying to hide it. Only reason I can think of is he met a woman who he was super attracted to and it would have been awkward for him to remove the ring. No matter how you look at it, he's not much of a man but Sid has the right answer for you ... love has nothing to do with the ring or even wearing the ring. It's the love in your heart which is what matters.
2016-05-23 07:43:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset about it too. If my husband and I were having problems as you are and were really trying to work things out, whether I thought it meant anything to other guys or not...what would matter is that it means something to him and I would put it on. Maybe she needs to decide if she really wants to make this work or maybe she just needs to know that things are okay and that your marriage is real again before she feels right about wearing it again. Just keep talking to each other without arguing the point too much with each other and ruining what you may have already put back together. I truly wish you the very best and hope all works out for the both of you and your son.
2006-12-11 15:49:42 · answer #3 · answered by tmw36 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would set her down and talk to her and tell her that when she wears her ring that is showing everyone that she is your wife. She should be proud to wear your ring. Maybe she dont want this guy that she was seeing to know that you two are back together. I think that you are wanting to hold on to the marriage more than she is. I hope you all can work it out but the way it sounds i am doubting it. I hope you can move on.
2006-12-11 15:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 years is a long time. I feel sorry for you, but that doesn't help. You guys have been through so much and shared so much and to tell you the truth, it sounds like it's over. That can be hard to accept.
Many people go through this phase where they let their long term partner pretty much walk over them and lose all respect for themselves in an effort to win their partner back. It rarely if ever works. If a person doesn't respect themselves, nobody else will respect them, let alone love them.
I would say get counseling. Not for the marriage, but for yourself. Quickly.
2006-12-11 16:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm sounds like she doesnt like being married at all and looking to get out of it with her not wanting to wear her ring.Look bud she has already found out some more men in her work force and she's about to dump your ***.She might say she is willing to work it out but she is still on the prowl. The sooner you know the better in my opin. A cheater once is a cheater twice. Good luck to you.
2006-12-11 15:52:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sorry to hear that. It sounds like your wife wants out of the marriage and that the marriage means nothing to her. I think shes hinting that she wants to see other men because maybe she isnt happy in the marriage. So she refuses to wear the ring. I think you should try talking to her to see what her problem is. If you want to save your marriage your going to have to do everything you can to fight for it I say surprise her at work one day.
2006-12-11 15:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have much bigger problems then her not wearing her wedding ring. A ring is just a symbol...it's what's in her heart that's important.
With or without her get to a marriage counselor you have some big problems and you may not be able to save your marriage.
Also you should get tested and then always wear a condom.
2006-12-11 15:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't be surprised when she cheats on you again. I sooo would not tolerate her not wearing the ring. That's bogus. She has disempowered you - you should do something to take back a level of control in the relationship.
2006-12-12 02:42:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason she's not wearing her ring...and it ain't because of no damn lotion! I'm sorry to say that so harshly, but it's true...especially if you have expressed to her that you find it hurtful & she STILL will not compromise. .It doesn't sound good.
Cheaters make me sick. I'm sorry for your pain, but don't be a dummy...all is not well
2006-12-11 15:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋