We've been together for 2 yrs. Recently I brought up the marriage subject. His reaction was "I am not ready, my business is not doing well, I can't give u what I want to". Is he making excuses, since he didn't have nothing when he got married for the first time with his ex.
Do you really have to feel secure to get married.
2006-12-11 15:33:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he wants to make sure this is the real deal before he commits again_
2006-12-11 15:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man wants to marry you, he'll do it no matter what. Maybe you're giving him too much. Pull back a little--go out with your friends more, do your OWN things, etc. Give him a chance to see what he's missing.
I dated my husband for 7 year before he finally proposed (we were young, so I didn't really start bugging him until after 5 years). The thing that finally pushed him over the edge was when I started making decisions by myself--like moving to the city to be closer to my job. We ended up breaking up for a month, but he finally realized that he wanted to be with me. You see, we had gotten so comfortable being together all the time, that he didn't realize how good he had it. So when I started to go my own way, he missed me and realized that it would be a big mistake to lose me. So he proposed.
Ask for what you want and stand firm--you're worth it! Good luck to you!
2006-12-11 15:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by MountainChick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people think that they need financial security before getting married. It's just one of their priorities. Personally, I don't agree, but personally, I don't see buying a house, settling down and making babies and the next natural step after a wedding like many people do. It just depends on what this guy wants out of marriage, so he could be making excuses, but he could be genuine. It depends on the person and their expectations about marriage and their reasons why they think they should get married. Why don't you ask him?
2006-12-11 15:40:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u don't have to be secure to marry someone. he is giving u excuses, basically he is saying he isn't ready. talk to him, don't bring up the marriage subject, but say am i someone you would want to ever commit to? ask him where he sees himself in a couple of years. he may have had a rough marriage with his ex and isn't wanting to marry again right now.
2006-12-11 15:46:56 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the better question are you will to take a chance and wait until he is ready? He is making his position clear; he does not want to commit to you at this time. That does not mean he never will be ready to commit, but it is possible that he will never will never commit to you. You can wait or move on. I don't think there is a wrong answer her. Unfortunately, I doubt there is an easy answer either.
2006-12-11 15:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jeffrey P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could very well be genuine here...as you said, he was unstable for his 1st marriage and perhaps he has associated that with the outcome and doesn't want the same to happen with the two of you.
Two years isn't really that long to be waiting for marriage...I think 10 years is excessive
Good luck & remember...good things come to those who wait :)
2006-12-11 15:40:19 · answer #6 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is outright telling you No. You should be happy that he knows where he is in life. You should move on with or without him. A man that does not feel secure about himself or his situation, won't make a good spouse. You should be elated.
2006-12-11 15:47:58 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm..lookin at it..he still has the fobia of getting married since his 1st did not work out..help him get rid of his fear and maybe giive him some time to settle things out..n yes u hav to feel secure to get married
2006-12-11 15:38:01 · answer #8 · answered by devangel1980 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's been divorced once, it's no surprise that he's gunshy and not wanting to go through that again.
If he's worth waiting for, wait for him. Pushing him will push him away.
2006-12-11 15:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how old you each were, and whether or not children/property were involved, and whether or not you live together? So, I can't say .....
2006-12-11 15:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋