why do men watch porn?

Question

ok.. well my question coemes from bein a wife whose husband seems to like to watch porn behind my back. tries to hide it because he knows how much it upsets me.. has never asked me to watch it with him, but swaers its not cuz i doont satisfy him its because he's a guy and its wat "guys do". But i cant stand it and he knows it.. So why is it that he can disrespect me like this and its ok i shouldn't be mad at him?

Answer 1

get your own porn he'll either flip or watch it with you.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel, I was married to a guy for 9 years who made me feel the same way, it ended in divorce. Pornography is one of the number one causes of divorce, it leads to adultery. Luckily I am now married to the sweetest guy in the world, for 8 years now, and he despises pornography, and does not look at other women, especially when he is with me. But anyways, you've got a bunch of warning flags there, women and porn on the internet. I would talk to him and tell him that you feel this way, if you can. Pull away from him. You need to realize that you cannot control what he is doing, especially why you are away. That is what sucks about it , if he is going to do it , then he is going to do it , there is nothing you can do about it. It sounds to me like he has a sexual obsession and he really should get help. Maybe you could go to couples counceling. I hated that feeling of always being on edge wondering what he is doing while I am away. It turned out, before i left my ex-husband held a gun to my head for 9 hours, and told me in complete detail every woman he cheated on me with for the past 9 years, and he also told me that everytime I had a feeling he was cheating, I was right, I also found out he was doing drugs and addicted to heroin (I don't know if I spelled that right). It almost killed me but I got out, it was hard though because I had two children with him. If he continues doing it, you should seperate from him and give him an ultimatum, either he stops doing it, or your relationship is over. Tell him that the bimbos on the internet will never be there for him, they are only a fantasy. You are flesh and blood. I really feel for you and I hope everything works out for you , I am so sorry that I have to hear of some other sweet lady going through what I went through for so many years of pain.

Answer 3

I think girls have no clue what its like to be a guy. I love it when girls say that "my guy doesn't like porn", "he doesn't look at other girls". Sorry but he does look at other girls, if he likes that, and sorry one mans porn my be a picture of a walmart bra section while ones is a playboy. It still turns us all on and we all have done it. Get real. I learned how to masturbate without anyone telling me what it was or how to do it. It happens, why don't you try to get in his shoes. I know when I was in college and all the girls were so hot and studying around me, I had to go knock one out just to keep my head on straight. If its just porn and you are cool with it then things will go a lot better than making him hide it. If you say stop, then he will just do it behind your back, and then that will lead to other things going on behind your back. Instead join in, thats every guys dream. Hell go buy him a vid and tell him that you got that for him and to enjoy, and then later we will enjoy it together. That would blow his mind and I bet you would have the best sex....but just get over it, guys look at girls, if that didn't happen then he wouldn't be with you.

Answer 4

You should be very mad at him. Try and find a post just a few questions down from yours regarding basically the same question from a wife regarding her husband addiction to porn. You will find my very long and detailed repsonse there. I know from living with an addict for 25 years before divorcing him. Couldn't stand the adultery he committed every time he lusted after another women. Lust comes from the heart as well as the mind and it is all porn is about. Good luck to you

Answer 5

This is a very unhealthy situation.

Watching porn in of itself is not the unhealthy part.

There are a ton of men who never watch porn and there are women who do.

The point is, is that you husband needs therapy because the sexual pleasure he receives from the porn is not associated with the pleasure he receives from being with you. This dissociation is not healthy. He could possibly have an addiction or some other reason for this disfunction.

Also, it's very dysfunctional that he knows it hurts your feelings and he keeps doing it! I would be indignant!

You should get his butt to a marriage counselor asap!

Answer 6

I keep seeing questions like this popping up over and over again. It's disturbing to me.

Here's my story... I'm 24 years old now and I haven't watched porn and actually got something out of it since I was in my late teens, maybe early 20s. So, at least 3 - 4 years. The first time I ever saw any porn it belonged to my mom's ex-husband. He hid it out of sight but I always knew it was there. I was probably 11 or 12 the first time I got curious enough and courageous enough to watch one by myself. To this day I can't describe what about it turned me on. It may have been what I was seeing, it may have been the fact that if I had gotten caught I knew I'd be in a lot of trouble. He had a wide variety. I watched it all because I was curious. Part of me feels like what appealed to me wasn't seeing a naked woman or naked man but the act of it. Not imagining myself to be performing the act on the woman in the picture but more that I felt like what I was doing was wrong in some way and that excited me. I felt like it was wrong. I still do. It was watching two people do something together like that. Later on I started realizing what I was really thinking and feeling. It appeals to that voyeuristic side. It's like slowing down and watching very intently when passing by an accident seen or a burning building. In the back of your head you're going, this is sick, but that doesn't matter to the main part of you that is somehow getting off to it. When I got into my late teens I just started really looking at what I was seeing and thinking to myself: This isn't even close to reality, so why is it doing anything for me?
That is, if the porn was hollywood. Then I started seeing things like Girls Gone Wild, which is on a completely different level. I think there is something inside many guys where they want a girl who is like that, but only when they can be around them. I think most guys if they had a girl like that would only want her to be like that when he was around. For me, the whole thing infuriated me once I really started thinking about it. I come from a family where women are strong and independent but would never consider doing something like that in a million years. I was taught to respect women, not ogle them.

Anyway, I hope that may shed some light on your situation. I can't begin to try to get into the minds of all men. From what my girlfriend says I'm a rare breed. If you're with a guy like this about all I can say is talk to him. Get him to really think about what he is doing. Ask him for a better answer than "it's what guys do" because that's BS, I have a few friends very much like myself that don't care for porn at all and we are very satisfied with the women we are with. For the most part I feel that the desire to watch it is adolescent or stems from a strong feeling of infidelity.

Answer 7

Men have 200% more testosterone in thier body than what is needed!!

Any only 10% of that testosterone is needed to be sexually active and have a healthy sex life

So whats all the remaining 190% testosterone doing! Well you can tell

women have only 20% of testosterones which again varies during the monthly cycles

Thats mens nature. You cant really do much about it! Sorry if I sound hopeless. He may be addicted to it. Try spicing things up in your marriage. It will help defintely. If your heavy try loosing some weight and get attractive!

Answer 8

I don't know why. I was away for about 6 weeks after my mom had a stroke and when I came back and went to use my computer, I keep getting a reminder to pay a bill for some porn. I know this was him, as there was no one else here, yet he keeps lying and says he does not know how that got on the computer.

Answer 9

it becomes an addiction for some ppl. i think he's denying the fact, and it's a more serious problem than he thinks. Porn is OK if a couple is using it to get sexually stimulated, but if some guy keeps watching it, and especially living with a significant other, it's a relationship buster.

Answer 10

No, don't be mad at him. I wouldn't make an issue of it unless he watches a lot of it. It's not totally abnormal to watch that kind of thing. I'm sorry that you have a problem with it. It's too bad that you can't sit down and enjoy watching it with him. Sometimes my husband and I watch it together, and we enjoy it. It turns us on and gives us ideas of more fun things we can do together. I say cut him some slack here. As long as he's not a porn addict, and he's not cheating on you, then it's harmless.

Answer 11

All men watch porn thats why there is a market for it. This wont be what you wanna hear, but two things you either accept it or join in with him. I know I dont watch porn bcoz my wife isnt satisfying me or that I want to disrepect her.