If they get engaged instead of getting married right away, does that mean that they don't like each other as much as if they were to get married right away? I mean, usually if you like someone, you would want to marry the person right away, right, instead of getting engaged first? Am I right or wrong? Let's say this guy meets another girl whom he feels like marrying right away instead of getting engaged with this person, would you say that this guy likes this person more than someone else whom he is just going to get engaged with instead of marrying right away?
2006-12-11 14:59:37 · 20 answers · asked by Raines 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
most of the longer engagements occur in younger couples. Especially in college students. most of the time they do not have the money to spend on their ideal ceremony. They may also not be able to spend the time preparing for the wedding. this is the case with college students. they need to focus on class so they wait till they graduate. and no, it does not mean they love each other any less.
2006-12-11 15:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by shakes 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Engagements today don't make much sense for many couples, as the whole process leading to marriage has been turned topsy turvey. Initially couples would date casually. During the dating period, they were still free to go out with other people but as they grew to know each other better, and like each other, they considered marriage. At this point, there would be an engagement, and that was like drawing a line in the sand. Once you were engaged, you didn't date other people any more.It was a public announcement that you were a couple. And during this time, the marriage contract would be drawn up. Women used to have a dowry -- a certain amount, or certain things, that they brought to the marriage. It would include things like sheets and linens, which the girls would spin, weave, sew and embroider themselves. These were their hope chest items. And they would bring a certain sum of money. In return, the husband paid the in-laws a 'bride price'. Back in medieval times, there was a great deal of haggling over these amounts, especially when they included lands and serious money. Once the contract was signed, the wedding day was set and then everyone was in high gear getting things ready for the wedding, getting the house ready etc.etc. Only after the couple were married would they have sex together.
Today, of course, couples date casually, move in for a while and cohabit, then maybe move out and go through the same process with someone else, or they may decide after a while that they will get engaged and after another while that they will get married. So it's all sort of backwards right now and doesn't make a whole lot of sense under the current conditions. Traditionally, too, a white wedding was reserved for virgins. Women who were not virgins might wear off-white gowns, or colored gowns, but they didn't wear white. Today, women have a white wedding in which their children are part of the wedding party.
The bottom line is, it's pretty hard to graft old traditions onto modern procedures, so everyone pretty much just does what they want.
So there you have engagement and wedding etiquette 101.
2006-12-11 23:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people get engaged because they want to let the women they are with is the one they want to spend the rest of there lives with it is the commitment issue it lets both people know that they are ready to settle down. Alot of people have long engagements because the ceremony and reception they want may be very expensive and sometimes they also want to have money to buy a house once married and they also want to see if the relationship can work and that either party is not going to cheat.
It's a good way to see if you can also live together some couples are great when they live in seperate dwellings but when you move in and share the same living space it can change a persons feelings. I have been married for a number of years now
and my engagement was roughly 9 months but we also got engaged within six months of meeting each other. Everybody is different and it has nothing to do with the not liking a person as much if they postpone.
2006-12-11 23:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's like buying the car without test driving it first. Well, I guess I don't agree with myself either. I think you should get to know the person a great deal to see if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person before you even get engaged. I think you should get engaged to let the families know that you are planning to get married because (in most families) the parents of the bride pay for the wedding, and you don't want to say "hey, in a couple of hours we are getting married=give me money." They need time to get the money or make arrangements to do so. I do think, though, that once you are engaged, the wedding should be only a few months away. But, then there are those who think like you and don't care to have a beautiful wedding and the memories that you get with one, and just marry out of the blue without getting engaged and letting everyone know with time. It has nothing to do with how much you like the person-it all has to do with announcing and planning. I'm no expert, but that's what I think.
2006-12-11 23:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting engaged has a lot of advantages rather than getting married right away. Getting engaged acts as an early preparation for the couple to get to know each other better and that would be an ideal test of their true feelings for each other whether their love will last or not. It will also help them to be financially prepared. So, if they would not be able to make it, then all they have to do is just set themselves free with no strings attached.
2006-12-11 23:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I were together for 6 years then engaged for 3 and now we have been married for 2... There was no problem... we just wanted to get money situated a little better, and save up to get a place of our own... That and we lived right down the street from each other.. So we saw each other all the time... I think that it was a great idea.. Yeah it seemed to take forever.. but we got to know each other even better... which makes our marriage awesome!!
2006-12-11 23:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all by the time they get engaged it should be way more then just liking each other it should be love.
Second....an engagement is a time when you prepare the partners and their families for the marriage. They should take as long as necessary to do this and to plan the wedding.
Ideally they should get some pre-marriage counseling to help ensure they know what they're doing.
What you want to do is why a lot of marriages don't last.
2006-12-11 23:03:49 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People get engaged and wait to get married for many different reasons.
I was engaged for a year before getting married. These are MY reasons for waiting:
1. Big beautiful weddings take a long time to plan.
2.The best places to get married at require reservations up to a year in advance.
3. Big beautiful weddings cost a lot of money. My husband and I had to pay for it gradually over the course of a year.
4. We wanted family from out of town to be able to come to my wedding. People who live far away needed time to plan and save money for a long-distance trip.
2006-12-11 23:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by bewitching_green_fairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because like each other,have to jump to the marriage at once?Then why bother to date at all,you like her the moment you saw her,then just propose to her straight away.
When you date,you will know more about that person,her good and bad.During the engagement,you will have more to think whether you are ready,is that the person that you want to share your life with and exist in your future.Love is too wide,you can love a person and stay 1000 miles from her.
2006-12-11 23:16:43 · answer #9 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you get older... time matters. You get perspective, and realize it is actually a useful period to really evaluate your relationship.
A time to enjoy each other, be committed, let friends and family enjoy, anticipate, partake in the relationship.
Don't rush into marriage... cliche or not, love does last and will grow if you give it time. You don't get married the instant you are infatuated with someone... that can happen often in your young life.
Unless you are in your late twenties or thirties, chances are you will be an almost completely different person in 10 years. Trust me on that. And enjoy!
2006-12-11 23:08:49 · answer #10 · answered by justr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋