I have joint custody and I think that is wrong to do especially since he lives an hour away. It is not about her personal life but about my kids not being with their mom. They tell me they do not spend enough time with her.They do live with me part of the time.I am very concerned.I am filing for custody for other reasons as well should these actions also be a concern?
2006-12-11 14:52:22 · 17 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, if she would rather be with her lover than her kids, and if you would be happier if the kids be with you, then maybe it would be best if she just gives you full custody of the kids. then, you get what you want, the children has what's best for them and she gets the time she needs. i guess if you could get that point across and if she could be open minded about it, she would agree. Yes, these actions should also be a concern. At least one parent should be with a 6 year old every night, not just the sitter.
2006-12-11 15:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by Bubuchachum 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, your ex is using her head right. Wouldn't you think that you would have more to be concerned about if the boyfriend was spending the night there with your ex and the kids? Instead your ex is not leaving them alone, they are with a sitter. And she is taking care of business away from the children, not in front of them. So I don't think that you have anything to worry about. Now my question is, what do you do when you bring someone home. Are the kids there or with the ex? Her personal life really is none of your business because it's the word, ex. She isn't endangering the children as long as it is a trustworthy baby sitter. Try to talk to her about it if it is bothering you so much. But you probably know what that response will be anyway. Kids are going to say things about you both. After all they love you both and of course want to spend more time with you both. So try not to make a mountain out of a molehill. You sound like a really concerned and loving Father.
2006-12-11 15:05:21 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your place I would not feel comfortable with my children with a sitter all night. I understand her point -- she does not want her children to know of her personal life by bringing him into the house. But also in your place, you should make an arrangement with her that they be with you when she plans to stay with her boyfriend.....And it isn't about your children being with their mother that should concern you, it is that they are in the custody of a babysitter. And unless that sitter is over 18, I'd have some real concerns.. Good for you, dad.
2006-12-11 14:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every once in a while will not hurt anyone, but several times a week is not right. Kids need their parents and attention, guidance and love. If she is thinking more of herself than her kids, then you need to seek advice from a lawyer and make sure you have the facts. Nothing more than the truth or you will get nowhere. Always leave your feelings about her out of this and just focus on your kids. Good luck to you, because separate parents are hard on kids and they need alot of guidance.
2006-12-11 15:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by doris_38133 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes as a parent they should be at home with them and not over at a babysitters all-night if she is doing this nightly or on a continual basis it is a good grounds for you to assume full custody and aI would go for it since it appears the mom would rather shove off to a babysitter then to be around her kids. God Bless and Good Luck with everything Merry Christmas.
2006-12-11 14:58:01 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how often she does this and how reliable the sitter is.
You don't want your ex to have her boyfriend there overnight....so she'll occasionally have to "visit" him
Talk to your ex and tell her your concerns and then make sure whatever you do it's in the best interst of the children.
Remember children grow up and they figure out what you may think they're too young to understand now....you don't want to lose them because you made a wrong or selfish decision.
2006-12-11 15:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure my opinion wont be to welcomed here but I feel as long as the children are being taken care of and are safe regardless of what responsible adult is with them it doesnt matter. Personally I'd never leave my children alone with a sitter for more then a few hours I'd feel to guilty.
2006-12-11 14:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest writing down every night that she leaves then, bringing up the actual number of night in court. But kids need both parents and you make it sound like she dont want to be one.
2006-12-11 15:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone and quit bashing her to the kids. She can do whatever she wants as long as the kids are properly taken care of, which you admit is being done. Move on with your life and quit trying to control hers.
2006-12-11 15:15:26 · answer #9 · answered by dumbassimmons 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you might file for custody due to negligence on her part since your children are still minors that needs parental care and guidance.
2006-12-11 15:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋