Okay, there is this guy that I know that is bisexual. I am personally against homosexuality as an act, but I have no hate against people who practice it (just disagree with them). The thing is that ever since he "came out of the closet" publicly, I've tried staying away from him not only because he might try to do something to me (which I doubt) or (mostly) because people may think we have something going on. I want to keep my distance, but at the same time I don't want him to feel offended. How do I achieve this?
2006-12-11 14:32:14 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think that a lot of homophobes are worried that the gay person is going to be attracted to them. If this is your problem, you can just think about it. I mean, even though a lot of women are around, they aren't falling all over you, right? So probably gay men wouldn't either. (I'm not trying to say that you're not good-looking, but that just doesn't happen.)
2006-12-11 14:34:28 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your decision to keep your distance from him came at the same time that he acknowledged his bisexuality to you and others, then you have already offended him!
You don't think he's going to jump your bones, so why *are* you afraid?? Because of what *other* people might say or think?? Have you no sense of self-worth, self-pride, self-confidence?? Clearly, you must not because your public image means so much to you.
Quit worrying about what the rest of the people think, and think for yourself! If you enjoy this guy's company, hang out with him, and be his friend. If you know you don't have any sexual feelings for him, than just be assured in that fact and public perception be damned.
2006-12-11 14:44:58 · answer #2 · answered by FL LMT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keeping away from him is likely to make you more uncomfortable when you're around him, not less.
Were you friendly with him before he came out of the closet? You can still talk to him about the same things you talked about before you knew.
Try saying hi.
2006-12-11 14:46:27 · answer #3 · answered by Let Me Think 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Achieving both is impossible, so you have to decide what matters most to you.
If your friendship with him is less important to you than your fears about him coming onto you and people starting rumors, then you're doing yourself and him a favor by staying away. He has made a controversial life choice and doesn't need people around him who think all gay-minded men hit on other men constantly.
2006-12-11 14:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can always stop trying to look at people as "homosexuals" and start looking at people like people. it might be because your not being open-minded enough, just for a second forget about what person their interested in, and focus on what he/she is telling you. i have meet plenty of pple in my life that say homosexuality it "unnormal/unnatural", does this just translate to "disgusting"? there are so0 many thing that pple do that are disgusting and normal at the same time, like cleaning bathrooms, eating pig feet, or chewing on frog leggs. see...disgusting, yet normal.
think of it this way, its normal, and natural....keep in mind that were humans, and were not out to get you, prob. not even interested in you that way and just wanna talk.
2006-12-11 16:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a friend, you need to stick by him. What other people may say should not mean a thing to you. Remember why he is your friend and do not pay attention to anyone who may look down on you for beeing a friend
2006-12-11 15:18:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be comfortable with yourself. You have nothing to fear form this person. I would say with 100% certainty that he already knows that you're not interested in any physical contact, and it would show your strength as a person if you were able to be yourself, not worry about what everyone else thinks, and accept them for who they are and not what they do.
2006-12-11 14:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by Aristippus1976 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be friends with him among friends, dont be seen alone with him in a dark alley, but hang out with him normally like u would do with any co-worker. be seen among a group of guys and friends and invite him occasionally to guy's night out and see how it goes , i think if he just came out of the closet recently this means he's very aware of the norms and the society's expectations. he would appreciate you for doing this because you can be his seeing eye on matters of the mainstream society.
2006-12-11 14:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by evildoodleeer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. That although you dislike it on a personal level you do not hate him. That should make things clear and keep your distance from him.
On a personal level try to enjoy his company and be friendly with him despite your issues. If he hits on you tell him no thanks.
2006-12-11 15:59:40 · answer #9 · answered by Sam L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assume is man enough to understand that your distance is all about you and not really about him. Then, ask yourself, why are you not secure enougth about yourself to be near him without fear of it 'rubbing off' somehow.. or of what others might think. If someone asks you to dance, you can say yes or no... it is highly unlikely he is interested in someone who clearly is not interested in him.. Blessings.
2006-12-11 14:36:22 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋