My mom divorce my dad (her choice) last summer. She still feels she should be included when there is a gathering at my home with his family. It is awkward for me, my father and other relatives. She doesn't understand this and feels I am being mean by not including her in every function. Yet, she never brings it up when it is an event with just her that my dad wasn't included. I always host Christmas and my kids birthdays, those three times everyone is invited at the same time. Why does she feel there needs to be more than that. If she wants to maintain contact with my aunts, uncles and cousins she needs to do it on her own. Not with me as the go-between. Any suggestions, as she is simply mad at me right now?!
2006-12-11 14:03:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Right after asking this I received a letter from my mom apologizing for expecting me to keep her in contact with my dad's family. Kinda weird timing! I'm glad she thought it through and can see where I am coming from. I wrote back saying thank you and I accept the apology and to understand I would never hurt her intentionally and this is new to all of us. That I am following my gut in my decisions to best suit everyone involved and that I love her very much.
Thanks for the considerate answers from most of you.
2006-12-12 01:13:38 · update #1
Put on your big girl panties and just tell her... she ask for the divorce and it makes her ex and ex in-laws uncomfortable and she is just going to have to accept it... plain and simple or tell her just like you told us... I don't think its fair to your dad... he may still have feelings for her and seeing her could really bother him... Your doing the same for her when there is a gathering of her and her people... your dad isn't showing up with his clan when it's her turn... tell this is the proper way things are now days that we have all these broken familys... once familys are broken apart you don't hang out like nothing happened... this is a sore place for me ... I have been there and done that...
2006-12-11 14:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom should not be putting you in this position, shame on her. I can't even imagine why she would want to be there when his family is there. She has to be getting some unforeseen kick out of it.
You are right in your thinking so stick with what your doing. Its your house and your life. Let her be mad, she'll get over it and if not....so be it.
2006-12-11 14:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with you mom explain it to her that she divorced your dad, and when you have gathering at your house with your dad side of the family , that they feel very uncomfartable for you. and tell her she can only come when both sides are invited. say your sorry but thats how its suppose to be. be honest with her, it might hurt her at first, but she will learn to cope with it and it will get easier for you. Just remember its your house, and stay strong.
2006-12-11 14:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes stop looking at it from your angle. whats happen has happened and your mother needed out for her own private reasons. She should't be excluded for this. make the appropirate accomendations so she can feel welcomed and attend.
Sounds like you might be a bit bitter yourself. Do the right thing.
2006-12-11 14:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mom is popping to non secular habit to numb the soreness of divorce. takes position each and each and every of the time. What are you able to do? purely stumble on the thanks to communicate in tongues on cue and once you're 18 take a HOLY GHOST HIKE.
2016-11-25 21:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretend that she isnt there and she will stop trying to been seen and heard at the functions, she opted to make awkward for everyone.
2006-12-11 14:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by Not In Kansas? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her just as you told us. You are not responsible for her choice in how she receives it. You can't please everyone all the time, including mothers.
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-11 14:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she knows but gets a kick out of it
2006-12-11 14:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by jac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that your mothers happiness is such an inconvienence to you
2006-12-11 14:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by Dave S 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just don't invite her and be cordial when she shows up..
That is about all you can do...
2006-12-11 14:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋