My boyfriend is in prison until August for a non-violent crime....?

Question

He has been in there since March 05, we knew each other before he went in, but we weren't a couple. For the past year we have been writing and talking on the phone, we've fallen in love, (as much as you can in this situation) but I know how jail love works. Some tell me its just talk, but some say don't listen to what others say. He plans to live with my son and I, whose only one, and my boyfriend claims him as his son. What do you guys think about this situation, and if your gonna be a jerk with this response please don't even bother...its a serious question.

Answer 1

Alot of times it is easy for people to say they will committ when they are in situations like that . I would tread very lightly with this . You have a son and his welfare should always be first. I would wait until he got out and established himself. I wouldnt allow him to move in with me if I were you . Get time to know him on the outside of prison before you take such a big stuff !

Answer 2

You are planning on having this guy go straight from jail right into your home where you are raising a 1 year old son and the only relationship you have had with him is through letters and phone? Why? Why don't you live separate and continue the relationship. I can't understand why a single mom would put herself in this situation. You have to be a little wiser than this. I know you love him and you can't wait to get a real relationship started, but there is not rush, You should not do it period. Respect the home you have set up for your son and yourself by keeping it for the two of you. I would be very careful and really think about what affect this will have on your son and you. I really think you should reconsider having him move in. It is not necessary and you can enjoy the actual dating process so much more and let it grow into something really special like marriage and then move in together. Good Luck and be wise.

Answer 3

Been in your shoes sweety. My ex guy and I were friends for several years. There was always an attraction there between us, well he goes to prison for a non violent crime.. I of course keep in touch with him through letters and phone calls and visits to the prison. Sometime during this all we "fall for each other". He gets out and we move in together because we thought we wanted and needed one another. Things were great for about 10 months. He had a HARD time finding a job... no one wanted to hire the " ex con" which lead to money issues for us... the arguments began before we knew it it was over. Hind sight is 20/20. We are still friends but not like we used to be. We have both agreed that in that situation, he latched on to me because I was there for him, when no one else was. So what he thought was love was only him holding onto the only person he had at that point. What I thought was love was nothing more than wanting to do everything I could for my friend whom I think the world of. I guess my point is simply this, be careful and take the current situation into consideration. Ask yourself what life will be like when he gets out and moves in with you. Is this the type of home you want your son ? Follow your heart and hope for the best. I hope all works out for you and that this helped knowing that I have been where you are. Good luck honey.

Answer 4

Well, you have to look at how many times he has been in trouble with the law, if this is the first, you can give him a chance but let him get his own place, never play house with a guy.
If it's more than once, you need a real man, because he obviously likes drama and you have a son, do you need any more drama in you life? Not saying your son is drama, but having two of my own and being single, chances are you went through some stuff with his father. You have to be reasonable, and dont settle because you might be lonely. I say this with the utmost respect, okay?

Answer 5

you have a son you have to consider first and foremost. it sounds like this guys sentence was short and it may have given him time and perspective to relize what is important in life and he could be a really great guy.i think it would be better if he had another place to go for awhile to see how things go before moving him in with you and your son.like i said consider the child first.if he is such a good guy he should understand that this will be temporary when he gets out and if things go as expected he will be living with you both soon.if he does live with you right away and things don't work out then your child will be put through unnecessary drama.

Answer 6

This is an ancient ancient argument and it breaks down right into a quantity of aspects rather smartly. First, why are you focusing completely at the cure of females in jail. Many guys who dedicate peaceful crime are in a similar fashion abused sexually through different inmates and jail guards. Why draw the glory? Such guys also are through your possess reasoning a lot more prone to discover themselves imprisoned along extra violent offenders. Second, at the same time drug ownership of itself is most often a victimless crime, the penalties of drug use depart sufferers all over. Yes a few females do take the rap to save lots of a male accomplice a stiffer sentence, that is their alternative, and no longer an overly intelligent one. It occurs the opposite direction circular too. How on the earth do you get correct information on such matters? Self security, final time I regarded - was once no longer a criminal offense. You are allowed to look after your self with fair drive. If anybody thumps you, you'll be able to thump them again. Shooting them is quite immoderate. Are females wrongly imprisoned? Sure - so are guys. Classifying "self security" as a non-violent crime is unnecessary. Firstly it is not a criminal offense to start with. Secondly, I can most effective expect that you just imply a condition in which a lady reacts violently to a perceived hazard where case - this IS a criminal offense of violence nonetheless you take a look at spinning it. Tax dues aren't violent crimes however they do have sufferers are the entire different taxpayers who must make up the change AND fork out much more wads of coins to maintain persons locked up and not able to give a contribution. From what I recognize of the authorized process, courts are extremely reluctant to fasten up most important caregivers (almost always females) and can most often move out on a limb to hinder it from going down in any respect. The final aspect of your query merits probably the most concentration. There must be possible choices to locking persons up while they aren't a hazard to the neighborhood. Prisons are enormously pricey to run, and all proof I have come throughout indicates that they do little or no to preclude persons reoffending on free up. But they do make jobs tougher to discover, create extra welfare dependencies and feature terrible results at the customers of the kids of the ones incarcerated. There are bigger possible choices for each guys and females who don't constitute a hazard to the general public. There are colossal faults in the way in which the judicial process acts with reference to poverty/wealth and race which I consider furnish an enormously legitimate recognition however fall external the scope of this question. I don't consider the jail process works in any respect good. It does little to rehabilitate, much less to preclude re offending and mostly topics prisoners to phases of abuse no one merits to endure. But on this guys at the entire come off a long way worse than females. To reply the final of your query, that is the name query itself - nearly all of females in jail are positioned there for non-violent crimes in view that the ones are nearly all of crimes females dedicate.

Answer 7

it is so easy to think your in love or think of love when you are locked up an all freedom is taken away like this. not being a smart a*ss here so i will say follow your heart and i hope you are not disappointed in the long run and good luck.

Answer 8

Your a dumb as s you about to be used, he aint like you before he went to jail and he dont like you know. He only want some free as s and a place to stay. But your white as s will let it go down, yall deserve to be used.

Answer 9

We all make mistakes in our life that put us in bad places. Its not what he did, its what he is going to do. You could give him a chance. May be he just needs a real woman to support him and give him the chance to do better things with his life. Good luck!

Answer 10

if you really love and trust him then go for it. just make sure he stays out of trouble since he will be living with you and your son.