I just graduated with my BA in journalism. Currently, there aren't any entry-level positions available in what I want to do in my area so I would have to move out of state to actually begin my career. However, I am also 1 1/2 years into the best relationship I've ever had yet he has no career mobility at all. I'm worried that if I stay here and take a job in something not directly on the path to my dream job that I'll be stuck with that lingering "what if...". But, I also fear I'll have that feeling if we go our separate ways. "What if" we would have stayed together? Most of the positions in my field require 18month - 3 year contracts so it would definitely be years apart and then there's no guarantee that something will open up back home.
In the end, does fate really have a way of working things out? I'm having a hard time putting faith in the fact that "everything will work out the way it's supposed to". Any input - personal experience, regrets, lessons, etc. is always appreciated
2006-12-11 13:47:39 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough one. I left my first love behind so I could pursue college/career. 15 years later we are both married to others with children and I know he is the only man I have ever truly loved. But...I loved chasing my career, he has loved chasing his, could we have done it together? I don't know. Its hard to say. But I know that when I am around him I feel like I have never felt before, to the point where I can't be around him/be his friend. If I had know then how I would feel now I think I might have figured out a way to stay with him. But its nearly an impossible call to make because hindsight is 20/20, and sometimes deceiving.
Good luck to you.
2006-12-11 15:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by I'm Trying 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation and I chose career. I certainly understand the loveliness of love and finding that one special person; however if you stay and end up with a job at the local burger joint ( not trying to offend, just an example ) you will eventually be resentful. Instead of wondering about what would've been with him = you will be wondering about where your career may have taken you. Yes, if you leave, it may fall apart; however it may not. You need to take care of you = more and more women are stepping out and making big names for themselves. I realize that it may be the hardest thing to do; however you need to do for yourself first and hopefully at some point his career will make him more mobile professionally later. If you do not follow your career path - you will wonder about what would've been.
There is no easy solution here and my answer is not meant to be easy either; however please follow your career path - you will find that when you look back you've made the right decision. It was hard for me at first; however now as I sit here as a very successful consultant - I realized that I grew a lot more than my love of past. I am not saying that you will not rekindle; however in my case.. when I stepped out and up my love was not motivated the same way I was. We have kept in touch over the years and our lives are so different now; however we are both happy... and if truth be told.. even though at the time I thought I could not be happier with anyone else.. I realized and he did too that we were right for one another at the time.
I would never trade my time with him for a million things; however I also value the fact that I put myself first and did what I needed to do for me...
I hope this helps.. and I hope I have not babbled too much.
I wish you luck. It will be hard; however I do know that you will make it.
All my best.
Claire
2006-12-11 13:59:05 · answer #2 · answered by 343 Remember 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have worked too hard and too long toward achieving your dream, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES STOP NOW!!!!! Honestly, the harshness of what could have been with a boyfriend of a year and a half will pale in comparison to the harshness of what could have been with your life!!! You didn't bust your a*s all these years to do nothing with it, did you? Take the chance. Never, ever, ever, never give up on your goals. It will be hard to leave him but you will be okay. Your life is about to begin, it would be a tragedy to deny it. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-11 14:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absence make the heart grow fonder! Who will break down 1st you or him? Surely he can get another job in the area you move to. If not then make a decision your future which YOU MAKE and will rely on forever as a source of individuality. or him and you with no career no future and no possibilities of personal growth or career..I think you should move go do your thing. if he wants you things will work out. if not you win and life goes on..There are allot of nice guys in this world you have only met one..Good Luck to you..Remember look out for yourself no one else will..If it is to be it is up to me..PMA will get you thru (positive mental attitude)
2006-12-11 13:58:18 · answer #4 · answered by flashrtp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, initially - "fiance of FOUR YEARS"?? Girl, if he ain't placed his cash in which his mouth is through now, he ain't gonna. That bein mentioned, probably appear for regional govt jobs? City council? Mayors workplace? There's obviously extra to existence that "profession" however a well marriage includes BOTH humans being comfortable and dwelling with out remorse. I say unload this mommas boy and cross are living your existence. If he particularly cares approximately you he's going to comply with you to DC.
2016-09-03 08:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋