Pregnant and single??? help?

Question

I just found I was six weeks pregnant. I'm only 20. I was on birth control and never missed a pill in the last two months, I don't get it!!! I work at a daycare and I love kids but I have no idea how to be a mom. I'm scared to death. The big problem is that me and my boyfriend have now broken up. Not just broken up like we can fix the problem but broke up because he didn't love me any more. Now I am pregnant, what do I do? How do I get through this?

Answer 1

It will be ok. I know how scarey your situation can be. I was 19 when I got pregnant, turned 20 a couple of months before my daughter was born.

True, being a single mother isn't easy. But it is easier than trying to make a relationship work when it just isn't meant to be. There are good men out there who will want to love you and your child. Just remember to be careful when getting to know someone new, and trust not only your own instincts, but your child's instincts too.

The "how to be a mom" thing will come to you through trial and error just like it does to every other mom. You already love kids - that is a great start! If you were on birth control and still got pregnant, then God must really think that you will soon be ready to be a mom, and that your child is almost ready to be born.

Congratulations. It sounds like you already have at least a few good things going for you. For now, you should just try to get on medicaid or some kind of medical assistance if money is going to be a problem and go to all of your doctor's appointments. They will help you a lot to understand what is going on and how to take care of yourself and your new baby.

For now, think of all the wonderful things that you will get to experience with your own baby. Watching it tumble across the room with its first steps, feeling that first tooth, hearing those first words... There will be moments when everything feels right and you will be glad that you get to be a mommy.

Answer 2

Well I was 16 when I first got pregnant, so I guess I can relate to how you feel in a way. My child's dad left when he found out I was pregnant! He said he wasn't ready for a child? Well why in the hell you didn't use a rubber?! lol. But I was also on birth control and I thought since I was on the pill I was going to be safe? I wasn't. Theirs not really that many options when you get pregnant, you can get abortion, adoption, or keep it. I choose to keep my child.So I gave birth to a baby boy. Now he just turned 2 and I love him 2 death! At 1st I was a single parent and thinking like what am I going to do with a child? I'm still in school and trying to better myself. Luckily the year I got pregnant was the year I graduated( started school early). Now im 18 about to be 19 and I'm proud of my little man. Im in college and my son stays with my fiancee'(he's the perfect father figure). Good things do come from things like this. Only thing you can do to get through this is to be strong(**for yourself**) and decide what you're going to do. Also get somebody who you can just talk to.....I'm here. I hoped I helped out!!!!

$_$ Love Zai'Shontis $_$

Answer 3

First off congrats! I am 21. I am scared to death to be a mom. I absolutely love kids. I hope I can be the best mom that I can possibly be.
Although I am not single let me give you a really good piece of advice. You unlike your boyfriend will be the best mom for your baby. Believe me. After this experience you will be stronger and be able to take on anything and anyone. Be brave and NEVER give up. Remember you have a little life if your belly that is counting on you throughout your pregnancy. They need you and need your help.
I have a friend who is a single mother. Her boyfriend also left. He's never been in the picture since her daughter was born. But ever since her little girl was born she's been on cloud 9. She said her daughter is absolutely everything to her and she doesn't have any clue what she would do without her.
You will get through it. You sound like a strong woman. If you ever need anyone to talk to you can email me. Good luck with your pregnancy and I wish you all the best. :)

Answer 4

You poor thing...I can imagine your anxiety and sadness are out of control right now, and hormones aren't helping.

You DO have an idea on how to be a mom. Some of it is instinct ( trust me on this, because I just had a baby and didn't even know how to change a diaper) and some of it is training from the daycare.

Don't spend too much time trying to figure out how it happened...birth control is simply not 100% protection for anyone.

Whether you tell your boyfriend or not and how you go from here is up to you. You've just started to be an adult and although you get more freedoms as an adult...sometimes making your own choices instead of parents and teachers making it for you kinda blows. Hang in there and find a good experienced friend to talk to.

Answer 5

Well, this is tough. I read the other answers and they seem all very positive, but a little misleading. Parenthood is tough! I am 29 with 3 kids. I had my first one at 18. I made sure not to have anymore until I was truly ready. That's the key. A lot of young people who have a child don't learn from the first one. The key is, because you did not get pregnant on purpose, don't get pregnant again until you are really ready for all the responsibility. Lots of young girls/ladies with babies, are with their moms or someone who will take care of them and their baby so much that the young girl/lady doesn't have the full responsibility of parenting. So she goes out and gets pregnant again. But let's just concentrate on this one. Most women do become natural mothers, but there is still a lot you will have to learn. Don't be afraid to ask for help. As far as being a mother, there's nothing to be afraid of. Pray, pray, pray. God will lead and guide you to be the best mother you can be. Give that baby all the love you have in you, cuz trust me, it's going to love the hell out of you! Being a mother is awesome, and very rewarding. You will begin to learn so much more about yourself during this time. Your ex will only miss out if he chooses to not be in this childs life. But just because he doesn't love you anymore does not mean he won't love this baby. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well working in a daycare you have a very good understanding of children and their behavior. This is a good thing as it's good practice for as your child will grow. You think I knew how to be a dad before my first daughter arrived? Being a parent is a learning experience, you've already started that with your job. And, trust me, a good man will not be scared away by your being a single mother. A good percentage of men are understanding. As a parent though just say if you get a new boyfriend make sure he is someone you would feel comfortable around your future bundle of joy.

Answer 7

awww, hunny...
dont stress. don't worry about the fact that you are single. there are alot of single mums out there who manage just fine if not better. i feel you are only worried bacause you were so careful and being pregnant has come as a shock for you.. but i have to say congratualtions! first you really need to think about this seriously though and if after every scenario has been played through your mind and you still cant cope with the idea of becoming a mother, maybe adoption? do you have any other family around you to support you? im sure you will be fine.
my partner and i had been ttc and i am now 4wks preg. but because we arent married i was so worried about telling my dad who is all for being married and then having babies.. i told him yesterday and was very scared... but he was so happy and i thought.. how silly of me? why should he be angry with me?

i assume you are still trying to get over the shock of it all. but i do think the ex has a right to know you are carrying his biological child. explain the whole sittuation to him and say that you are not telling him in hope of recconcilliation, but only to be fair and that you beleive it is his right to know.
dont hate him either, there would be no point in you 2 getting back together just because you are with child if he has no feelings for you.that will only make things worse.

you would be better off gaining support from friends and family instead.
i hope this has helped. and good luck

xoxo
p.s. email me if you wish to...

Answer 8

You will do fine. However if you decide that being a mother right now is not what you need, then adoption is always an alternative. My hubby and I would love to adopt a child, Send me and email or instant message me if you want. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck. Motherhood is wonderful, but it is not for everyone. I was 20 when I had my first child, but I was already married. It was hard, but rewarding.

Answer 9

Have your baby. I am the single mother of a 12 year old and I had her when I was 40.She is the light of my life. Mothering comes naturally. You can do this. Someday you will be glad you did. You're scsred right now, but it will pass. Keeping working and hold your head up high, and be proud. In todays world the definition of family is so different. You aznd that unborn baby are all ready a family.Enjoy this time. It is special.

Answer 10

Thats not a complete question. How much familial support do you have? Do you love your baby? Would you be able to give the baby up for adoption?

Being a Mom comes naturally for most. You need counseling. If you are against abortion like I am then you will likely need psychiatric help if you go that route.

Go to PP, and discuss the options. If you arent ready then I vote for adoption. And tell your ex. The baby is his too.