My 12 yr old daughter is constantly lying and stealing. Today she got suspended from school for stealing an MP3 player. The stealing is starting to get out of hand especially now that it is stealing more expensive things. I have taken away all her privileges and "fun" stuff, she is grounded in her room with meals served there. I have always done these things for punishment and still does not work. I do not believe in beating my child. I have also put her in army cadets to try and straighten her out. but so far, nothing works. Does anyone have any suggestions for me on what else I can possibly so to straighten my child out before it's to late and she will be old enough to go to jail? I would be greatfull to any suggestions. P.S. she said she stoled the MP3 player cause she wanted it, she did not know we had bought her one for Christmas. I showed it to her along with the reciept and told her that I'm returning it now because she did not deserve it.
2006-12-11 12:28:53 · 8 answers · asked by skybluebabyboo 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Children are actually taught to lie... it does not come natural. The first time is usually a mistake, but then when reinforced, is repeated, and until the reinforcement stops, the lieing goes on.
As for stealing. Thats another story. I remember stealing as a child. My parents were always fighting about money, I had no money for school lunches and so rather than provoke a hot topic at home I stole food. Stopped when I got caught by the District Attorney no less....
Today I don't steal, in fact I give more than I recieve whenever I can.
Today your daughter made a statement to you that you need to really think about. "I stole the MP3 player because I wanted it".
Now there is not nearly enough information given to fully analyze that statement, but it is that statement that she made to you (the actual one, not my paraphrased statement above) that holds the key to solving your crisis. Why did she want one, why did she think she deserved it more than the person who had it, why did she think the person who had it didn't deserve to keep it.... and the big question, why did she think she wouldn't get caught (or did she know she would).
Once you have fully analyzed her statement, write it down if you need to as well as all the questions you have and possible answers, as well as all the parameters of your involvement.....
Then consider your level of commitment.
When I was growing up in a small town in the Pacific Northwest, every year someone would move to town to get their children out of the environment they were in, and in a supposedly healthier one where we lived. I always thought that level of commitment was awesome.....
Then talk to your daughter about this. Explain to her that you want to help, but you need to understand. Go through with her all the reasons she would steal, all the reasons behind the reasons, and all the implications. As you talk with her (not at her, with her), discuss and explore. Also since you have already examined your level of commitment, during the process you can commit to her what will change in the family's life to help her.
From this perspective it is pretty easy to judge, but also I think there is more to this. If you cannot get through to her, then she needs to start seeing someone who can. (Child Psych)
2006-12-11 12:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my cousin[aunt by adpotion] had those types of problems, she constantly got into fights and stole money from her legal guardian who is also her grandmother[mines too!].
Once her sister took a $100 dollar bill from my/her granny's purse and replaced it with a $1 dollar bill.
She went too far when she kicked my grandfather in the balls for confronting her about the money her and her sister took and spent at the mall.
My dad almost strangled her because she almost paralyzed him. When the cops came she lied her little butt off and told them that they were sexually harrassing her or some stuff like that but there were witnesses and she was given six months in a correctional home.
After that she was put into karate for dicipline and has turned out to be a strict but good mother to her two children [and a good aunt to me too. she's getting me a new cell phone for X-mas]
I think a correctional home is best if the punishment you are giving doesn't work.
2006-12-11 12:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chris rock says there are three Butt whoopins you cant miss ,Lieing ,stealing ,and disrespecting, im old school i beat my childs butt with my palm, and shes in college now and honors and All A's, the time to whip dat bootie was when she was small ,now shes gotten used to slidin by,, it may be too late,, get her a counselor at school,, and or,, take her to see a priest ,or the preacher at the church,, if she hasnt got a religion ,,then she doesnt expect any reward or any puinishment for follys and sins ,,or just read the bible with her from the old testement its called the ten comandments they spell it out simply in there ,,or try this ,,tell her Jesus said ,,that to be all right ,,you have to love God with all your heart,, and others as yourself, in this you cannot sin ,,tell her do you want to give all your stuff to a homeless girl thats not having christmas ,,no ,,then how about this ,,i let the folks you stole from come over and take anything they want from you,,, i paid for it ,,its mine ,,i can take it away or give it to anyone ,, or i whipp your butt with my hand till you cry ,,and make you write an apology letter to each person,, then we go on like nothing happened ,,,and you,, and our family,, has the best christmas we can and love each other like we should ,
2006-12-11 12:43:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Who did the mp3 player belong to?? What did the person that suspended her from school say about it?? Have you tried counseling for her ??You say you don't believe in beating your child ...A good old fashioned *** whipping is not a beating . If you can't control her now what do you think will happen when she's 16?? Please check with a boot camp that may straighten her out ....Good luck ...
2006-12-11 12:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by southernn_sky_2020 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience with children stealing, I would say to start taking her most valuable things. Take them without her permission and see how she reacts. It's a lesson. Obviously you will give them back, but only when she straightens up.
2006-12-11 12:32:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mish B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 10 year old boy with a similar problem. He is in therapy and has ADHD that is being treated with concerta. Our therapist is working with him and we had a police officer come to our house to talk to him. As of yet (fingers crossed) he hasn't stolen anything else.
2006-12-11 12:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe its her out cry for attention, or to be honest , maybe she doesn't know any better(not saying its your fault) maybe try something like take all her stuff and sell it, and just say that somebody stole it,(sounds mean but it would probaly work, or make her more pissed off, it all depends on how she takes it) or make her have to work off how much things cost that she stole(trust me thats sucks)
2006-12-11 12:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whip her ******^ a^^
2006-12-11 13:42:44 · answer #8 · answered by its not easy being cheezy 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋