How do you react to the news of death? Is there something wrong with me?

Question

My family doesn't have a history of longevity, so have lost close aunt's and grandparents to death. The same is true of a few old friends. How do I react? You could say that I really don't, not in an impetuous or melodramatic way. When I learn that someone has died or is near death, I become inquisitive, wanting to know everything I can about how they died or what the problem is. I am willing to try and console those who may be more deeply affected than me, though I don't enjoy it or have a talent for it. But I don't cry with them. I don't hug them, unless they hug me. And I feel like I can understand them but don't feel or even desire empathy in that situation.

Today, I got some bad news. My grandfather, a close relative who I bonded with and never lived more than 30 minutes away from, is in the hospital with a possibly fatal ulcer. I just came back home from visiting that room with my crying mom and cousin. I just didn't feel what they did. Should I?

Answer 1

You are who you are. When my dd died it took me a good year to even really grasp the magnitude of her death. Some people just react differently Doesn't make you less human

Answer 2

Everyone reacts to different situations in life differently. For some, death is a joyous occasion because people they love and care about are freed from suffering and pain. Other times, people get depressed and full of tears when they hear about a loved one dying. Everyone handles things differently. You should not feel like you have to feel the way your family does. You are a unique individual, and you are entitled to have the feelings that you have. React in your own way, as long as it's healthy. Just make sure that you are not bottling up emotions (hurt, pain, anger, or any other type of emotion) so that it doesn't cause harm to yourself or anyone else somewhere down the road.

Answer 3

You're just like me...there is something about the specifics that makes it easier not to blame a diety and accept it as a part of the natural order...
If I was a career counselor I would suggest being an undertaker or a morgue doctor..it takes a special breed of people to do that and you sound like you would be good.

Answer 4

I react with a big so what? I don't care. I have no fascination with death and consider funerals barbaric. I will not participate in them.
Why do people cry over a person dying that has been in pain and sick for years? I think it is a show.

Answer 5

Your tendency to question and try to understand sounds like the defense mechanism "intellectualization." Its a defense mechanism of the ego; we all have our "favorites" that we tend to use regularly!
As for your lack of emotion, it could be that you are a bit low on empathy, or you could be repressing your feelings, as so many men in this culture are socialized from birth to do.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with you, it's normal. =)

It takes me a while to start crying too. For instance, when my cousin died, it didn't really cry until the funeral. And I did not cry when my Pepe died.

Answer 7

People deal with loss in different ways and i dont think you're weird for that.

I hope your grandfather gets well.

Answer 8

no longer something is faulty with you! human beings deal with no longer in problem-free words lack of existence yet existence in numerous ideas. You reported that your relations doesn't have a heritage of durability and per chance that has something to do with your emotions. once you assume issues, you purely practice your self for the end result. the significant element is please do not bottle up your emotions interior which will nicely be devastating. in case you wanna cry, cry and if no longer do not pretend tears or emotions that are somewhat no longer there. i'm particular you adore your grandfather plenty and in no way remember the end result you'll nevertheless love him. purely be there for him and pray for him that he receives more effective.