Well, here I am 4 months later and still can't seem to forget?

Question

After four months of trying to rationalize my emotions I still can not seem to get my mind of of him or that achy feeling to go away. Everytime I close my eyes he is there. Everytime I turn the corner I picture him there! I have not told him nor do I think I should...I just need to get over this! I just go through the motions with my husband but really I am only thinking of the other guy. Trust me I have morals....I have not acted I just feel like I am being worn down and not sure how much more of this I can handle. Could I really be in love with another man? Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You have a crush. We all get them. Most of us get over them. You can't seem to shake this one. Why?

Getting to the bottom of this attraction is not something you should put off. You've somehow been able to justify an overwhelming attraction to someone you can't have and you are allowing yourself to wallow in the sweet sensation of it all.

So far, you haven't allowed the emotion to overflow into your real life, but eventually, it will. This is more about you than it is this other guy. Something is seriously wrong in your life and you are taking refuge in a fantasy. So, what is it? Do you know? Can you figure it out on your own, or do you need a professional to help guide you?

After four months seething, achy passions, my guess is that you can't do this by yourself. You need a competent counselor to guide you through a self-discovery of why you are flirting with throwing your marriage away on a dream.

Find someone right away. Pastor? Priest? Minister? Marriage counselor? You may also find that you need a medical doctor to make sure that you don't have a hormonal of chemical imbalance.

Good luck. Take control of this and find out what's going on.

Answer 2

In time you will heal. Until then, dont contact him. Pick up a copy of "The Grief Recovery Handbook" it only costs about ten bucks and it will help you understand the different emotional phases of a break-up. It also fully explains what grief really is. Grief is something that no one ever teaches us how to deal with and the long lasting effects it has when not dealt with properly.

I feel for you. I have been in similar situations and all I can say is this book helped me through it.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

You are in love with another person because you are a weak irresponsible coward who chose self over family and marriage.

Stand up and be a mature adult. Openly let your husband know how you feel and actually try to work things out. It may be too late now. You may have poisoned any legitimate chance there was to save the marriage. I feel sorry for your husband and any kids that may be involved.

Answer 4

hmmm thats a tuffy...
i don't want to say you should cheat on your husband
because i understand you have morals (as do i)
but ask your self
do you really love your husband?
if your husband and this man were trapped in a burning building and you only had enough time to save one of them
who would you chose?
would you rather spend the rest of your life with the other man and have his children or be with your husband

and when you are answering those questions dont think of them sexually
truely think of them through love

i really hoped i helped some :)
good luck

Answer 5

I usually have zero patience with folks yearning or lusting for others. But, your"attraction?" is continuing. So, it's time to be concerned. See your doctor. Then, see a psychologist. And a Minister. And a marriage therapist. Then, if you still feel the same, get divorced. Then, if you still want him- it's time to act.

Answer 6

It's totally normal to be attracted to the opposite sex even if you're married. You'r still human. You married this man for better or for worse. So you just need to think of it as lust and it will get better. You may not ever get this person out of your mind completely, but you are married and you have responsibilities.

Answer 7

sound like you got married while still being in love with someone else,even though you haven't acted on your feelings,what you're doing is wrong to your husband,that's not fair to your husband!!!
you say you just go thru the motions with your husband,you're lucky he has not left you, I would!!!!
if you don't love your husband,then at least have the decency to tell him, so he can move on

Answer 8

Stay away from this other guy and quit thinking about him all the time think about something else you can do it just think about how your husband will feel about this when he finds out

Answer 9

keep you knickers on the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence even if it looks like it

Answer 10

wow...marriage is a covenant with God.....the devil came to steal, kill and destroy.....you are letting him destroy you....there is good news....Jesus came to give life, and life more abundently......if you seek the Lord you shall find Him.