Stepdaughter (15 yrs old) punched me in the face...cops are called.?

Question

Friday we picked up stepdaughter (s/d) and her boyfriend came to our house until one in the morning watching movies . Saturday s/d went to party with boyfriend for church. She was told to be home at six. She calls at 5:30 and tells dad that she is going back home because her mom said she could stay at the party until ten. S/d comes back to get her things at our house and her father told me to tell her boyfriend to leave because his daughter wasn't leaving....so I did..s/d comes flying through the living room and wasn't yelling at me and trying to push me away from the door to leave. Dad was yelling at her to stop and he grabbed her to restrained her she got away from him and punched me in the face. I called cops, for nothing because s/d got to go to the party and back to her moms. Should I have let the cops arrest her that night? Cops said I could for assualt but dad said no. Her parents are not going to punish her or get her help for her anger. What do I do to help this child?

I'm seriously thinking about taking all her christmas gifts back to the store for a full refund...even the laptop computer her dad and I bought for her. She hasn't been very nice this last year.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you had to experience that, you must be feeling so hurt. If this is the first time she has ever struck you than I feel jail is a little excessive BUT I do believe you need to address this behavior with the father and have him rationally address it with the mother. Your step daughter owes you an apology and should receive a consequence for her bad behavior. If the natural mother doesn't see a problem with her daughter punching you and interferes with your punishment then I agree you're going to need family counseling because that girl is getting mixed messages and it will really help to have an outside professional validate right from wrong.

*If Dad doesn't back you up and address her behavior I would consider taking some of his gifts back too.

Answer 2

3

Answer 3

Your life is unorganized with this teen girl.... This teen is getting 2 different messages from 2 different households. Her mom says she's allowed to do X Y & Z and you and your husband tell her she can't. This is a lot of confusion for such a young teen.

What I would do in a situation like you and your husband have right now is send her to boarding school. Have your husband call her mother and talk about the idea. In a boarding school she will have one set of rules to follow, no exceptions, her school work will be on time. Then when she comes to visit you every other weekend, use the rules that the school has, No exceptions. Next call her mother about the boarding school rule plan when she visits her Mom, and see if she will be on board with the rules at her place, the same rules as the boarding school.

As for punching you in the face, don't call the police this time, if she does it a second time, then by all means. For now you, your husband and her mother must talk and get this teen under control. Let her mother know that if she punches you in the face you will call the police and that you hate that you would have to do that.

Good Luck with this situation.

Answer 4

Stepchildren (heck, anyone) have been arrested on lesser charges than that. Were you hurt from being punched in the face? I would have let the cops do their job, even if it meant them going to the party to pick her butt up. It sounds to me like this is a case of "real" mom making you look like a bad guy. It sounds like, perhaps, some family therapy is in order. Your step-daughter needs it for her own anger, you and your husband need it for learning to deal with her rages and to deal with her mom letting her get away with stuff. The professionals really know what they are doing, and I think it could be beneficial to the whole family.

Answer 5

If her dad and mom refuse to parent her, then there's nothing you can do. But I think you should have pressed charges. She needs to be held responsible for her actions. And it was YOUR face that got punched, in my opinion, that makes it YOUR decision what to do, not your husband. Your husband lets his guilt over not being in his daughters life prevent him from having a backbone with his child. The best advice I can give is to be patient for the next 3 years till she's 18. Oh and you'll probably be helping to raise her baby by then too.

Answer 6

Since the cops have the incident on file, I guess you can go against dad's wishes and ask the cops if you can press charges. Then while you're explaining the whole incident they should be able to see that she needs to be taught some regard for others AND authority. And you dont have the jurisdiction to do that. Sooooo be prepared for more rebellion, when she visits.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

You know wat that ***** is going to have to fight me if she ever comes pass my neighborhood because i aint putting up with that shitty attitudes of hers and I'll make sure a punch her face inside out before she can leave. Tell me where She lives and the job will be done in less than a day because I can run faster than any car can drive so before u notice I will be punching her funken senceless before she can recover from her damn wounds i placed in her face! Stomach! and those ugly eyes.jail that lunitic

Answer 8

I think that you should let her Mother and Father settle this one. But I sure wouldn't want that child hitting me again! I make sure of that.

Answer 9

you need to punch that lil bi*tch in the face and then f*ck them all because they are going to let her do whatever she wants and she id going to keep pushing your bottons

Answer 10

she is still young and dont understand anything
just forgive her
if u did that his father will love u more and more