I'm in the beginning phases of a break-up. I've been in this co-dependent mess for long enough and I am calling it quits. I tend to rescue. We just had the conversation Friday and I was stupidly hopeful that before as he finds a new place, things could be amicable. He was an a*s to me last night, just said the most horrible stuff and now the silent guilt stuff today. I have wanted out of this for so long and I have to stand my ground. I need to get some work done but today I was completely distracted. I think it will take a month or so for him to leave and I have got to keep it together. Any thoughts? This is my house and if I left my house, he would not leave unless I went through the long process of eviction. And this is my house and I feel like giving up my house would be more of the same rescue stuff I've been doing that I'm fixing right now.
2006-12-11 11:31:29 · 6 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is good that you recognize your codependency.
You own the house? Or he sublets from you?
Either way, the best thing you can do is to detach. Speak to him only when necessary and stop helping him, giving advice or defending yourself. Make sure you are safe at all costs.
Take care of yourself. When your thoughts wander, tell them to stop and focus on what you are doing. Do things for yourself, for pleasure and self-care.
A modified Serenity prayer helps me:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change
The courage to change the one I can
And the wisdom to know it's me.
Al-Anon has been very helpful for me in recovering from my codependency.
Warm regards.
2006-12-11 11:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him to leave and tell him he has x amount of time...otherwise you will have to get the law involved....you need to stand your ground and this could get ugly....so lets get it together and fix the problem before it becomes to big to deal with
2006-12-11 19:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by sweetness666 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
invite a friend over, or you may have to move to get some peace, moving may not be codependent -it may give you a piece of mind. don't look back, nothing has changed, you made the first step ...... keep it movin
2006-12-11 19:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by blackbeauty1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he was horrible, tell him he has by the weekend to get out and then you are changing the locks and putting his stuff outside or in your garage
2006-12-11 19:53:43 · answer #4 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be OK. Just take it one day at a time.
2006-12-11 19:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let him have ur house...no one is worth losing ur house for. time will heal ur pain...good luck
2006-12-11 19:41:47 · answer #6 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋