me and my boyfriend have been together for five years we have two kids and we have talked about marriage and he even said he was going to buy a ring.Yet and still i don't see a ring and i don't want to keep asking him. I lost what should i do
2006-12-11 11:13:25 · 12 answers · asked by Tea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Y not get married?? You have obviously both taken a lot of responsibility together!
2 kids, and 5 years! You guys really need to get married. Tell him this is what you really want, and do what it takes to make it happen.
Good Luck! ;-)
2006-12-11 11:16:57 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Charming's Princess♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to really sit down and think about where your boundaries are and what you are willing to do to get what you want. What are you willing to do if he refuses to get you a ring? Are you willing/able to leave and support yourself and children somewhere else? Cause if the answer is no.. then any advice we can give you here is not going to be any good. If the answer is yes.. then you have to decide what is most important to you personally remaining together in the same house hold or taking the scary plunge and putting your foot down.
Either answer is not wrong or better then the other. Its just a matter of what you in your heart hold of the highest value. Apart or together you will still both be the children’s parents and there will still be a family. The question is which one will give you peace and leave you the most fulfilled in the end.
I was at a similar point in my life 2 years ago. I do not have children so I can only guess how much harder the decision to break ties and make him accountable for what you want is.
It took me a year of battling internally to come up with the decision to leave my ex and move on. He wasnt ready to marry me and he wasnt ready for kids. And the thing I can say I wanted the most was for HIM to WANT those things. What I learned is you can't make people WANT anything. They either do or dont. I am a lot happier now and in another postive relationship that I very much hope leads to marriage and all .. but I am not rushing it this time around. Its a hard road on your own and its nice to just let things go where they will.
One last bit of advice from someone that decided that the ring was the most important... when you say you are leaving and really do start to leave he will probably promise marriage and all that. Move out anyway.. go anyway.. if he is serious he can prove it and join with you again later. Its hard enough to get the momentum going.. dont let panic evoked phrases stop you.
Good luck.. its hard hard road.. *HUGS*
2006-12-11 19:32:39 · answer #2 · answered by Frenchie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does it matter if he marries you or not? You live together for 5 years and already have 2 kids.
I would not worry about. If you were fine with having kids outside of marriage and have been with him for 5 years, what is the rush? Would it really even change anything?
If it really bothers you - sit down with him and ask him why he hasn't proposed to you yet? Communication is key.
2006-12-11 19:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by Christopher McGregor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clear that he apparently likes things just the way they are
since it has been five years. The question is....can you continue like this? This will go on as long as you allow it.
Sometimes it is hard to actually 'see' what is right there before us.
Good luck!
2006-12-11 19:19:31 · answer #4 · answered by Edisto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation. I know for me I would probably leave him. If he doesn't want to commit to me then I need to move on. It is easier said then done. You got to ask yourself though if you are happy the way things are. If you are then maybe you don't need to change them.
2006-12-11 19:18:57 · answer #5 · answered by Glee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run... Go on with your on life and your kids because by now he should ask you to marry him...Means he doesn want nothing to do with you sorry to tell you but he is just there because...Not because he loves you and the kids...Kick him out or something like that...and bye bye
2006-12-11 19:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no incentive to marry you since you give him everything he wants without the commitment. Sometimes it takes an ultimatum (marry me or else) but he may call your bluff. Basically you've screwed yourself.
2006-12-11 19:16:50 · answer #7 · answered by Nicole B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R T
Walk on honey , and get child support or you will only be a girlfriend stuck with kids while he still goes out to party without you
And please don't cry I LOVE HIM , does he really love you?
2006-12-11 19:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away! If he wanted to commit, you'd be married by now.
2006-12-11 19:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down quietly and tell him, i have lived your way long enough. if we are not married by this time next year i'm leaving you.
and then do it. 5 years is long enough.
2006-12-11 19:17:48 · answer #10 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋