my wife can't have kids and we don't have the money for invitro so a friend offered help us by using her body and for me to impregnated het the old fashioned and she left it up to me to make the decsion was wondering if it is immorally wrong to do that.
2006-12-11 10:51:03 · 22 answers · asked by gregg98133 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I know you're hoping to get a lot of people telling you it's right, that way you can sleep with your wife's friend with a clear consiance. You're an idiot.
2006-12-11 11:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Ryan's Ma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me, that would never be the same. If I couldn't be a mother myself I would rather adopt a child, than have my husband have sex with someone else to have a child that isn't even mine.
I don't think thsi is a moral issue. I think it is a personal preference. You should only do that if that;s what your wife wants as well and if you are both TOTALLY comfortable with that. But remember, this might lead to feelings of jealousy later on, especially if this friend wants a part in the childs life. Your wife may start to feel like it is the other womans child and yours, not hers.
Also, if you do decide to go ahead with this, make sure that you fully discuss the circumstances with the other woman, because no matter how well you know her, she could change her mind once she's pregnant, and decide to keep the baby, and there isn't anything you can do about it.
I hope you make the right choice. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-12-11 10:56:23 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs.Gaddis 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That probably wouldnt be such a great idea. There are so many things that can go wrong. What will happen when your friend is say 7 months pregnant and starts to feel the baby kicking an moving an just gets attached and decides when she has the baby she going to keep it what would that do to you marriage. It doesnt matter if its written on paper that shes going to give you the child or not its just not a good idea. I never would even think about it. And since you are married of course its immoral. I understand how stressful and hard it is to hear your not going to be able to have children but thats not a good idea. My aunt was also told since she was 16 that she wouldnt ever give birth and she 36 now an just gave birth to her son in june. Just keep it in the hands of god make sure to pray and if its meant to be it will happen.
2006-12-11 17:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by letmeknow06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He choose to spend time with you, so I don't believe that he and his wife have a good relationship together. Have a talk with him. Just make him choose between the wife and you. Persuade him that you are better than the wife and that you're willing to work on the relationship. Tell him that you want to be with him without the wife attached to him. If he can't decide, give him some time. Be prepared for rejection if he chooses his wife. If he chooses his wife, then you should question why he choose to spend time with you instead of remaining faithful to his wife.
2016-05-23 06:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Do you realize how much this would hurt your wife and how complicated it would all turn out to be? What if the other woman decides she wanted to keep the baby? What if the other woman just wants you to get her pregnant? It would be the same as cheating on your wife if you got her pregnant the old-fashioned way. Even if your wife said it was okay, trust me, it would still hurt her deeply and would damage your relationship. Find a low-cost way to adopt (like through Catholic Family Services or a similar organization) or work over-time to be able to afford fertility treatments.
2006-12-11 10:59:13 · answer #5 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow thats odd and really hard one morally it would be wrong bye having sex with another woman... but is your wife ok with it??? is it partly her idea???? there is so much to consider when doing that.. if she wanted to and lets say you do impregnated her she can change her mind and keep your child. you could up having a custody battle or paying child support on that child. it could cause alot more trouble down the line. its a nice thought to think a friend would do that for you guys. but really it might not be worth the risk... or trouble it could cause down the line. she might say she is ok with having a baby for you and your wife... but when she becomes pregnant people change feelings change.. after carring a bay for 9 months its harder to give up than she might realize specially if its part of her...... have you thought about adoption ? there r so many children that need a home and loving parents and isn't as expensive as invitro.
2006-12-11 11:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have heard about artificial insemination done at home, and that cant be that expensive.
If it were me and I couldnt have children and I trusted that friend fully to give me the child in the end, then I would go for it. (only insemination, not intercourse)
My sister sometimes wonders if she cant have children, they dont use birth control and have never gotten pregnant (not actively trying yet) We have discussed that "what if" about me being a surrogate for her.
Of course it would be difficult and she may feel inadequate and I might have feelings of resentment for losing my figure and suffering for 9 months but in the end giving up a year of my life for a lifetime of happiness for my sister would be worth everything to me, and her.
it is easy for everyone to say no, but I am sure that plenty of people who cant have kids would love to find a surrogate to offer.
2006-12-11 11:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by Pro_Dog_Trainer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on a lot of things. If your friend is hot and has a banging body then go for it. If I was you I would find ways to prolong the experience that way you get the most bang for your buck. No reason turning down some free poon when you have the chance.
If the friend is ugly then no do not do it.
HAve fun raising your bastard child.
2006-12-11 11:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by The Witness 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really is up to you . Talk to a counsellor. There are lots of issues to weigh up. While your friend has good intentions she may think differently after the birth. It must be hard for you guys and I do not want to be judgemental. Have you considered adoption. I know it is not the same as having your own but there are heaps of unwanted children wanting loving homes.
2006-12-11 11:30:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can't afford the invetro then how do you plan on her being a sorrogate? If you want your wife to feel like she mounts to nothing and feeling like a failure then so be it CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE and have a baby with her friend. But maybe here isn't where you should be asking. May be just may be your ife should have input on her marrage and where it is headed.
But hey that is just my suggestion.
2006-12-11 10:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by evrythnnxs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋