basically i had a fallout with this girl, who used to be called my best friend. long story short, my best friend and i asked her to do something I wasnt comfortable with (staying the night at my boyfriend's house just to **** his best friend when we had IMPORTANT news to tell her, which she ignored at the time). The situation made me re-evaluate what I consider a best friend to treat me/talk to me/etc....and with hypocritical, selfish, aggresive, and desperate on the list...she does NOT meet the criteria I expect. My other best friend reconciled with her yesterday, but I dont know if i'm even ready. I mean, if i'm having doubts about it ,why even do it, right??
i want to get our stories out there and i've been ignoring her for days. Should i just suck it up, call her ***, and talk it out and see where it goes? Or just wait til tomorrow and deal with this drama later?
Is it bad that I honestly dont want to deal with it? I'm not trying to be rude, I just..dont...care anymore
2006-12-11 10:49:40 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ps: she hasnt tried to contact me personally since the reconciliation with the other girl yesterday. i sent her a pretty clear message on myspace a week ago and well.....idk, i feel she should try. but who knows
2006-12-11 12:13:02 · update #1
shut the **** up and no, I didn't steal her boyfriend. look at the details, honey. Just kidding. And yes, give her a second chance, she didn't hurt you that bad. Get over it!
2006-12-11 12:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
the fact that she ignored the important news that you were trying to tell her says alot about the kind of friend she is going to be (or already is)
I had a friend like this once... i gave her too many second chances and we said goodbye last year. it was hard to do, and i miss the friendship we had, but i do not miss the friend that she had become. there is a difference, and the biggest task in deciding whether a friendship is worth 'dealing with' is to separate the two and see how big the differences are.
people change - its a part of life. some dont notice what they do, and others chose not to out of sheer ignorance. others want to make up for what they have done.. therefore i make this suggestion:
let her make the effort. let her initiate conversation... you will be able to tell through her attempts to mend your friendship whether it is worth dealing with. you are not the one who should be reconciling... she is (dont bother with myspace messages or anything - leave it up to her and her alone) Trust me - you are not the one to do the mending... she is. if she speaks with you, or calls you, speak with a civilised tone but dont make it easy for her, otherwise she will continue to take your friendship for granted.
its not a bad thing that you dont want to deal with it, and i dont think that you are being rude at all - you are doing what is right for you and your self respect - no one deserves to be taken for granted or used as a doormat.
2006-12-11 19:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You said you don't care anymore but clearly you do, the end of frindships just isn't that easy...
I can't really understand based on what you said what went wrong but if it doesn't feel like a friend then give it time and think about it for a while..sorry you are hurt but remember, life goes on and this too shall pass.
2006-12-11 18:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's always really painful to get over this kind of situation. Just sit down with her and talk it over. Tell her, in a respectful way, how you felt and that you feel your friend betrayed your friendship. But try to forgive her, and tell her you want to start over fresh. It's natural to stew over things and remain bitter and angry, but if you show you're ready to forgive, she will realize that you are ready to get over it and that you still want to have her friendship. Email her, if you don't want to face her directly. But most people put things in emails that they normally wouldn't say aloud to others. Be careful, and the best of luck!
2006-12-11 18:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by whatevbookwrm687 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should tell her that you don't want to be her friend any more, rather then ignoring her. And make sure you tell her why you feel the way you do. If she realizes that she hurt you the way she did, and if she is truly sorry, then maybe you can work things out.
2006-12-11 18:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its all up to you, if you feel you cant forgive her than let her go, if yo feel you need more time take it, if you want to get what you had back and put forth effort to make it better call her and make it happen.
2006-12-11 18:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by Damn_Im_Fine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just make peace now and hope for the best before it gets any worse
2006-12-11 18:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
really just talk to her, see if shes sorry, if not then come again later!
2006-12-11 18:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes everyone deserves a second chance
give her one
2006-12-11 18:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by heythere! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋