I have been with this guy for three years and engaged for one.
He has been spending ALOT of time with a male friend - almost every day and I am not sure if he is gay or just losing interest in me. I posted another question 'My fiance doesn't participate in sex'. Anyhow, he says he loves me but his actions say otherwise.
Eg: I had my wisdom teeth out this weekend and asked him to stay with me that day - he said I was overreacting and would rather work on his friend's kitchen to get it done - AND LEFT me to go work on his friend's kitchen! I started yelling at him saying how can you say you love me , etc.. and I flat out asked him if he was having sex with his friend? He kind of grunted yes - but could have been sarcastic. He then said If I am so unhappy why don't I just break up with him. I asked him if he loved me why doesn't he try to fulfill the needs I am exopressing. He then walked out to go to his friend's. Is this his way of saying 'your right I don't care?'? or my reaction?
2006-12-11 10:44:25 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like he is immature and/or does not care about you. If he was ready to get married, he would respect your feelings.
Do not marry this man.
2006-12-11 10:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by lickitysplit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should think long and hard about marrying this guy. He is spending time with this friend for a reason and it could involved another woman also. If you marry this guy, you may be setting yourself up for a lot of future headaches and arguments. He is clearly showing you signs of the way he plans to be when you all are married so if you marry him expect nothing to change. Another thing, if he doesn't have sex with you and he used to, then there is something wrong. I realize it maybe be difficult to end the relationship because you all have been together for 3 years etc. but it best to end it now, then to go down the aisle and end it later. Move on, and find a gentleman who will spend time with you, love you, care for you and your feelings because for what you just described, this man is totally opposite of that.
2006-12-11 18:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Who me? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not staying with you when you're in pain? Geez.. what a louse... If you bear this man's child, he might hang out with his friend at the arcade while you're in labor! Take a step back and look what you've written. If a friend told you a similar story, what would you say?
Maybe he's gay, maybe he's not... That's the least of your concerns at the moment. What you should be focusing on is his lack of teamwork that is required in a healthy relationship. It's pretty clear that he's looking for a way out of this relationship.
Talk with a few friends on it and see if you can dig up something before you call it quits with him and his buddy, Time the Tool-man Taylor, here.
2006-12-11 19:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is trying to make you angry and not supporting you the way he should, it makes it easier for him to walk away guilt-free if you leave him right? maybe that's what he is trying to get you to do. On the other hand, most guys are selfish that way and don't really see a problem with them going to a friends house all the time and not supporting you when you need help. If you want to marriage this guy then he has to show you that he is ready to settle down. And he can't show it just by not going out with the boys. but really be there for you, but you also need to realize that he needs his time away too. try and compromise. what you need is a mediator, try counseling.
2006-12-11 19:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is his friend gay?
If so then yes Id be slightly worried.
But it could just be that he is feeling a bit tied in just now?
Or wants to break-up but doesnt want to hurt you by doing so?
Hope it works out for best
2006-12-11 18:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by dottylotty2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting a glimpse of your future should you marry this man. He doesn't seem to care about you at all. Things only get worse once you are married. You may be wise to call things off for a while and see if you still feel the same way about him later.
2006-12-11 18:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
love is proven through actions not words. If you are having doubts about his sincerity then there is a reason.
Look at the situation as if you were viewing a friends relationship.
2006-12-11 18:58:27 · answer #7 · answered by Reisnoh 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dump him i went through the same thing, i asked my bloke if he was gay? he said no but the ODD occasion we do have sex he has a little problem downstairs, im leaving him im 42 with 3 kids sod him
2006-12-11 21:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by thunderball 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I agree with your fiancé... If you're so unhappy, and he's not willing to work with you on your relationship - why don't you just leave, and look for a person who will.
2006-12-11 18:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give him a LEG OVER, if he doesnt ask for one means he is GAY and you are right, if he does TEASE HIM & not give him it. That way he will be like a dog biting a bone ;o)
2006-12-12 07:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋