Bored with my husband?

Question

I dont know if its alright to feel this way. I do not enjoy sex with him, I am bored to go out with him. We usually go out in groups to avoid the boredom of just the two of us. He is a very unenthusiastic person! I dont know what I should do about this!
My libido before marriage was soo good. Now its like "Oh its just him and whats so exciting about him touching me" kind of a feeling. Its not intense or wild or imaginative! Its just the same old person! Sometime I feel I am the kind of person who likes to have sex with many men. Whats happening to us! WHats happening to me! Do you experience the same thing!

Answer 1

Well darling, its what marriage is all about. It need not always be as exciting as it was in the begining

ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO SPICE THINGS UP GIRL! You have to change certain things which will change his behaviour towards you. You can make him more creative and wild....

Try to tell your hubby he LOOKS sexy, he behavior and attitude towards you will change.
Imagine he is a total stranger when making love. Imagine you guys are having a first date.
Imagine things that turn you on.
Imagine you are playing golf, billiards and he has sex with you while teaching you how to play! ;)
Imagine you are his sex teacher, describe how to have sex and enjoy to your husband.
Imagine someone is watching you have sex with your hubby.
Use some brain and imaginations. (Now dont fantacize about other men)
Look into his eyes while having sex, work out, shape up, be strong, try different positions,
Try salsa dancing with your husband. You will both learn creative ways to touch each other.
Dont have sex everyday!! You should not overdo it or you'll lose interest
Do some public display of Sexual interest ;). Like in a mall or something,
Wear some sexy outfits! Try wearing cute outfits, his response towards you will be totally different ;). You know you got to think about weather he is the one who is actually bored!
Try sending him sexy emails with erotic images suddenly out of the blue
Try not to worry too much about Life's issues. Leave all tensions behind when going to bed with him!
Again bottom line is DONT SPEND TOO MUCH TIME TOGETHER!! both of you should be busy with something all around the week and meet only few hours per day. This sounds crazy but absence makes hearts grow fonder! and thats very very true. Give each other some space and u'll see how things begin to get better. Too much closeness inhibits lust but increases love! If you want lust than you have to see him as an individual and should not get TOOO close. Now you decide what you want!
Hope you got what I am saying.

Have you tested testosterone and estrogen levels in your body! May be they are the culprits! Low testosterone(male hormone) and high estrogen decreases libido. Now dont ignore this, its very important to have right level of hormones for women! For women its all about hormones baby!

Answer 2

Was he this way before you all married? Was your sex life better with him until now? If he wasn't this way before you all married, then he may be bored in the marriage as well. I think you both need to talk this out and figure out why you are bored. Tell him what you like in the bedroom and he do the same. Let him know he should loosen up a little because you are bored. Not only in the bedroom, but maybe you all should try doing something exciting together to add spark back into the relationship (taking a romantic trip etc.). Remember he has feelings as well and he may feel the same way about you. If you all don't try anything different, then it (sex, relationship in general) will not change.

Answer 3

I'm not really sure how old you are? Sounds like you need to have a long conversation with your hubby about the way you are feeling. Sex isn't all marriages are made of. It is an important part, but what were you going to do when you are both in your 80's? Most people that age do not have sex. You have to marry someone who completes you, not someone you lust after. You should probably get out of marriage and save yourself and your husband the agony.

Answer 4

sometimes,in a relationship these kind of things appear when interest for the other disappears, when your goals are not the same anymore and very often when the third person comes to the scene.I don't believe there is any ones fault; people get bored and that's it.You get bored of a blouse and you don't ware it anymore.the same happens in a relation.if the other one becomes inanimate to you it is not your fault,more over if you give your best to make the relation work.what you should do is to move on with your life, think a little bit of yourself and only than you will realize how important you are and how much you deserve in this life.if you feel you can do more and deserve more than go for it, don't waste your life 'cause life is too short.who knows what wonderful things you can find outside there?

Answer 5

I agree with the people that are telling you that marriage is work. My husband and I talk and work towards keeping things spicy. We've only been married a year but dated for several before marriage. Sometimes sex is better than other times. We make a point of having "dates" and take a trip, just the two of us every year for a long romantic weekend. You might consider counseling depending on how bad it is. Tell him that you are feeling a bit stale and what turns you on. Don't get him on the defensive. Help him to think of ways to flirt with you before you have sex to get you in the mood. Figure out ways to stimulate his mind and yours so that you can have better conversations. Maybe you are stale too and just don't realize it!

Answer 6

I am within the identical boat! My husband performs video games 24/7 while he is not operating or he's looking TV. The most effective convo we ever have is the lower than five min one we now have while he will get residence from paintings telling me approximately his day. He does not even ask how mine is. I been with him virtually three years married lower than one and it has now not continuously been this fashion. I have attempted the whole thing and I have given up. Seriously what are you meant to do while your married to any individual like this? You are not able to speak to them since they get all protecting and right here comes an issue. I have noticeable different men and women speak approximately being married to any individual like this as good. People informed them do this or that why must we ought to kiss the individual we're married to butt to get a few concentration and affection. That must include the territory! It's supply and acquire 50/50 in a wedding. I have weighed all my choices and talked and talked and talked to my husband approximately it. I have acquired nowhere now most effective factor left for me to do is dossier for divorce. I gave it my fine shot and installed my all on this entire dating mentally I'm tired and are not able to take anymore. So yeah I understand what your going via and I do desire your marriage does not result in divorce like mine goes to turn out to be. Maybe your husband will come round if now not it is time to begin considering plan B.

Answer 7

Well dear welcome to marriage. I was feeling the same way about sex in my 5th year of marriage. He goes oooh... I am unfulfilled and a week may go by and it happens all over again. Seems to me you are still a wild child so, there is nothing wrong with your libido. Maybe you and your husband may need to be more spontaneous when it comes to sex. Try different positions or toys or role playing.

Answer 8

It's not unusual for people to get into a rut like that...try spicing up your sex life...add new and different things to it...

If that fails, try counseling...there may be an underlying issue that has caused you to have "lost that loving feeling"...

...or you could always consider the swinging lifestyle...you get your variety, but you go home with the same person at the end of the night...

Answer 9

I could have written this question. Our problem is many family problems that leds to his depression. Sex is over quickly and I barely know its happened when IT does happen. When we go out I prefer groups too, he's ready to go home when we get there. Its not so much boredom but disgust we are too young to be this old. I have yet to find a solution, sorry.

Answer 10

Your husband probably feels that same way. That's great. So, come on. You are married, so talk to the guy. Use some imagination. Rent scuba gear and get lucky underwater. Have him "pick you up" in a bar. Heck, get a wig, and you pick him up in some bar. Whatever it takes to get the laughter back in your bedroom. Remember- Sex is only dirty if you do it right.