I am so sad. What can I do.?

Question

I am currently seperated from my husband because he has a problem with running from his problems. We now live in two different cities and I want him to come here to live with me. We had planned on moving here together a few months ago because we were ready to leave the town he grew up in because it's so dead there. But I left that town during one of his i'm leaving you episodes. Now I refuse to go back because there is no guarantee that he won't leave me again. I have no family there so when he leaves i'm all alone. He can't come here yet for legal reasons but all he has to do is pay money to clear it up. what can I say or do to get him to hurry up and pay the money, or just get him to come here with me so that we can work on our marriage together? We love each other a lot, but he considers it over because I'm not there with him. what can I say or do to convince him of what needs to be done. I know, he just doesn't know.

Answer 1

Nothing you can do until he decides to grow up, be a man, and face reality.

Answer 2

Oh no. I'm sorry. I was in almost the exact same situation,except there was abuse involved. It's soooo awful to be away from someone that you love very very much. If you are afraid of him leaving you then you should be where you feel secure. I feel that he should pay the money and come be with you. I think that it is mean that he would leave you all alone. He Knew that you had no family there. I was in Oregon and then Washington with my ex- husband. I did not have anyone but him. I am from California. I had to leave him three times before I finally left for good. My ex-husband used to leave me all the time and it was awful. He would do that because he wanted to control me. He knew that I would be all alone without him. Enough about my story. This man is your husband. Why is he telling you it's over because you are not there? Let him know that you really love him. That he should not be threatening to leave you. And that he should clear up his legal issues so that you to can begin to work things out.

Answer 3

You need to tell him that you feel that there is hope for your marriage to work. Since most of your problems occured in the city where you just moved away from, you have a difficult time adjusting to the idea of moving back and actually are no way near being convinced to move back. Ask him to give this new city a chance and look at it as an opportunity to start over. If he doesn't agree, then you know what you have to do.

Answer 4

I'm not trying to mean by saying this but: Your husband is a classic manipulator. If he really loves you and wants to be with you, he would come to you. He wants you to come back so that he can have a sense of control over you. Manipulators usually want to get you away from family and friends so that you'll feel like you're stuck and you have no other way out.

Tell him that you're not moving back and it's not up for discussion. He left you, you didn't leave him. Tell him to come to you and prove that he won't try that "I'm leaving" **** again.

Answer 5

Wow that is hard, he sounds pretty stubborn and there is nothing wrong with that but you both need to be together as a MARRIED couple, have you told him how you real feel, that you dont want to go back there because of no family and your just lonely when hes not around. I dont know but really if he loves you he would be there for you and come and stay with you. I dont want to say it but i dont know if he is worth being with as you are feeling down and hes not there for you and you are trying to help him and be there but hes just not wanting to sort his problems out. if this is how your relationship is going to be like do you really think that he is worth it, dont you think that marriage should be living together happy ever after, i know that we do have probs when we marry but he really needs to try for you and himself. Good luck and i dont mean any thing harsh about it just feel for you.

Answer 6

You are here and he is there if he wanted to be with you he would pay the money and come live here with you. I am sorry to say it sounds like it will be a permanent separation i mean he was always leaving you back there so hon move on.

Answer 7

If you love each other one of you is being pig headed.He probalby thinks you and vice versa. Possibly you could live together halfway between your two residences. Maybe he's a momma's boy and needs to be close to her. Maybe you are reading is so called "love for you" wrong and are fooling yourself. Counseling is the only thing that will help you. If he won't go, divorce him and look for a new guy. There are lot's of us out there who would love to have a woman like yourself to love. Good luck.

Answer 8

Why would you want this boy/man back in your life? He sounds like a heartache waiting to happen. If he can't figure out that your asking him back into your arms is a sure sign that the marriage isn't over, drop kick him out of your life. Life is too short to wait for a man to grow up and be responsible.

Answer 9

You need to just have a good heart to heart talk with him. My boy friend is the same way. He has never physically left me even though he threatens to. He just does not like to be faced with serious issues. It is really frustrating some times, but we manage to get through these difficult times when I force the issue and discuss it with him. Good luck. I hope you'll be together soon.

Answer 10

OK why don't u just pay the money he owes, Ur married and u love him and u want him with u ...so pay it and bring Ur husband home this will show him how much u care and love him hopefully he'll come to u good luck

Answer 11

You need to let him handle his own business for once. It sounds like he is still a child inside. He has "I'm leaving you" episodes? I'm wondering why you would want to push him to join you. If you stay with this man you are in for a lifetime of doing everything for him, and living in a constant state of on-again/off-again. Is that what kind of life you want? I would not.