Hes been marrying me for 6yrs we have 2 kids, and hes baught the rings which I think are just for display. I love him but I think its time he made a committment. We own a house a car and we are happy except for the wedding that never happens.
I have now given him an ultimatum that if it does not happen then its over. Did I do the right thing?
2006-12-11 09:50:44 · 19 answers · asked by antoinette c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YES! And don't give in because he won't take you serious next time or any time.
2006-12-11 09:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by rugbee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with women . what do you think that a marriage certifcate means that youre man will never leave , never cheat , be a great partner etc . No darling thats no what is supposed to be about , You get married really for religious reasons apart from that whats the point .What will change for you
Nothing
You have a house , car and all the trappings of a marriage and you would be willing to give it all up just because he chooses no to marry you . youre a fool love simple as that . Get a grip lifes to short to worry about whether you have a piece of paper to show youre mans commitment to you .
Spend the £20grand you would have spend on a half decent wedding and buy something useful that would benefit all the family and stop being so selfish .
2006-12-11 19:22:01 · answer #2 · answered by C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how much marriage means to you!
Does it mean more to you than having a happy solid relationship, which he has obviously commited to by having 2 kids with you!
I used to be hung up on the whole marriage thing too, but me and OH have been together for 12yrs, a LOT longer than most marriages nowadays, and are happy. we may get married in future, we may not. If it happens it happens.
If you were serious about the ultimatum then you need to carry it through, other wise he wont take you so seriously next time!
2006-12-11 18:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by dottylotty2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. Why are you so conditioned that you need to be married. You didn't need it to have two kids. Commitment is buying a house and car together. If he doesn't beat you, cheat on you, lie, steal, abuse drugs or alcohol, or sleep with other men you are doing better than 90% of married women in the country. Get over your insecurities or self esteem issues and make the relationship you have the best you can. Expect the same from him and you will have a peaceful life.
2006-12-11 18:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by Lab 7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The old saying goes, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" He has all the benefits of marriage without the legal entanglement. You were right to force a commitment. If he decides to leave you, you're not really entitled to much except child support. If you are married, then alimony comes with that. You don't want to be left high and dry should he decide to head for the exit. Take care of yourself and the kids first.
2006-12-11 18:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by Harley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6yrs I think you did the right thing. I think he just got comfortable with the dog and the house and car and kids. Before the ultimatum is up you need to buy him 3 boOKs one is ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships and ten stupid things men do to mess up their lives and get him stupid things parents do to mess up their kid. With him not marry you he showing his kids it's ok to live with someone an play house with. And that person he playing house is there mother. One day there going to grow up in think my mom was not worth my dad to marry my mom? And that's going to leave them very confess and maybe unstable in there own relationships. Please get him these books there easy reading , and not long and straight to the dam point written by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger and she has a radio show YOU should listen to on 640am 12noon-3pm Mon-Fri Southern CA time.
2006-12-11 18:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if that's what you feel is right then it is.
Marraige ain't all it's cracked up to be-
My ex was chucking his ring off 4 days after the wedding cos I had asked him a question about a motorbike
If he doesn't commit maybe it's just cos he's a bloke.
They only want what they can't have.
2006-12-11 17:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think yes, but if he can't commit by the time you leave him then think of the kids. Be strict, but not too strict. My aunt and her husband were going out for eight years. They were engaged for two years, and now are so in love and have two kids with another on the way. Stick it out if you love the man. Good luck.
2006-12-11 18:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by daniel g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are the worst wedding planners. You have the rings, then start planning, don't tell me you are waiting for him to do the planning? Someone needs to take the initiative and it mostlikely will not be him.
2006-12-11 18:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, life is too short to mess around and if your truley in love then why not show it with a proper commitment. plus if he knows its what you want then he should do it to make you happy cos you do that for people you love.
2006-12-11 17:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by Cheeks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certaintly did however what was wrong with having the kids after you two decided to marry.
2006-12-11 17:57:08 · answer #11 · answered by sweetladytease 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋