okay this what happened when i started my new job about 9 months ago the only shift i could get was a partime 3-9pm job..while my husband worked 7am -3pm...i saw how stressful it was becoming for my family so as soon i could i changed shifts so we would both be working 7-3 and be home with our son at night and spend more time together...well as soon as i took the 7-3 postion at my job...he found another job making 3 dollars more working 3pm -11pm .....he also plays football every sunday morning and watches it all day sunday until about 5pm......so now i work 7am- 3pm which is what we both agreed to try to do was both be working 7-3 and than he up and took this other job...after some b****ing on my part i got over it because he told me it was temp. and that he was only filling in for someone on meternity leave...so than now that we are the end of those 6weeks he just took some1 elses position snd it's still 3-11...and so all the time we spend together with out shifts is sat evening and
2006-12-11 09:43:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and every other sun evening and everyother tues morning..i just feel like i never see him and now i'm upset with him because he won't give up working at night so we can be a family and spend time together. i'm thbe type of person who likes to spend time together as a family..and he acts like he could care less he says he wont leave his job for me
2006-12-11 09:46:45 · update #1
If you approach this as I'm right he's wrong or vice-versa, you are missing the point.
It's not about being right or wrong, but both of you being willing to find a solution that works.
So, you want to find a solution where BOTH of you win, not you win and he loses or he wins and you lose.
Stop thinking in terms of I'm right or wrong and start looking for win-win solutions.
2006-12-11 09:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi I totally think that he is wrong im sorry I feel that way but I do . I understand that you like to spend alot of time with your husband because thats what couples married or not are supposed to do. And i can see that it does cause a strain on a relationship because when I worked at a gas station I had to work like 11pm- 7am while my husband was working like 7am- 4pm it sucked because we never got to see each other. Even on my days off because him or I would be so tired it makes things alot easier when you both work 1st shift . Especially if you have kids together that way you can do things as a family I would suggest sitting down & talking to him maybe at a nice restraunt just the two of you or maybe talking to a good friend of his or a family member that hes close too to sit down & tell him( your husband) how you feel. Well good luck with everything!
2006-12-11 18:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the best of the time you have together and pick up hobbies and activities that you can participate with your son in when he is not around. I don't mind spending 1 on 1 time with my children, their childhood is priceless. When my husband participates, that's great too. Life doesn't have to be so tough. I guess in my case, I just don't depend on others for happiness and it took me a lot of maturing/analyzing to be this way. I also love my children so much that I can't get enough time with them since I work a full time job. I love my husband but certainly don't view our time away as a bad thing, especially when work is the factor that is keeping us apart. If he was neglecting me for his buddies (which he has) then that is an entirely different story, but that changed when I left him for a month.
2006-12-11 18:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the guy a break - thats about $500 a month more he's earning and busting his butt for to support his family - what about changing YOUR agenda to give him a little support if it bothers you that much? 3-11pm is a cr***y shift - he's prob. exhausted by sunday and takes a day off work to unwind infront of the footy, only to have you lecturing him about why he's never home. maybe take the time to get some nice aromatherapy bath oils, a bottle of wine, pack the kids off to the in laws and enjoy one of those evenings when you're both together so your time IS special.
2006-12-11 17:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I rarely see my guy either....and on Sundays he loves to sit and watch his football games. He works so hard during the week that I want him to take the day and do what he loves. I watch with him sometimes, but I dont understand football.....or I will curl up beside him and read a book or something
2006-12-11 18:06:48 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Ladylike ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he is working. Make sure he gets a job from 7:00 AM to 11:00PM.
2006-12-11 18:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by bbluckylove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, hon, it takes two people anymore working long hours to get ahead in this country... can't blame him for wishing to get paid as much as possible for the hours he works.... I'd say you need to adjust your attitude a tad, hon. NOthing is perfect and until people are paid what they are worth in this country, we all put up with this.....
2006-12-11 18:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun be glad you have a guy that will work, i know that its not exactly the way you want it. but it could be worse.....honestly it could be.
have a sit down with him and tell him how you feel........that you would like more of his time to be spent with you. if he isnt willing to make changes, then take the time for yourself and the kids(if you have kids).
best of luck
2006-12-11 17:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by bayouktty6969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..i work 3_7 and my wife works 3-11I'AM SLEEPING WHEN she gets home.i only see her on saterday & sunday. and she watchs football with me. try doing the same it works both ways
2006-12-11 17:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by bigpopi@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pouty thing aren't you?
There's a lot of women out there who are thinking "At least he's working".
2006-12-11 17:52:35 · answer #10 · answered by open_phunguy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋