If your spouse has been deployed to Iraq....?

Question

(or any other war)...
Does he/she have a shorter temper now than before?
Seem angry a lot?
Do they seem to "like" to start arguements?

If so, how did you handle this?

Is this something that wears off as they adapt (he's only been back for less than 2 weeks).


Thank you

Answer 1

Things my wife complained of when I first got back:

Nightmares, jumping up in my sleep (scaring the hell out of her)

Nervous driving habits (looking everywhere trusting no one)

SHORT temper, restlessness, easily bored, looking for action

Easily offended by uneducated anti war idiots who know nothing except their own little world. (BARRETT up above is a perfect example)

GUILT, which I still have for not being able to return with my Soldiers, letting others down who were injured.

And the list continues. Alot has settled down, such as the driving habits, the sleep disorders are fewer inbetween, and my "short fuse" has grown some. However people who have not been there have no clue what we go thru, nor will they ever understand the majority of us would go thru it again without question. We believe in our missions, and follow our orders without the luxury of pondering the whys and hows. Be supportive, let him know of your worries, and try counseling, his unit should have contact numbers. But mostly youll find time heals most wounds.

Answer 2

Hi honey,

I am in Australia & my husband is in the Navy, you & i both know how hard it is when they just go away on normal routine, let alone going & coming home from a war zone.

My husband has seen some horrible stuff during his time in the Navy & i know that it is hard for him to talk about it. I let him know that i love him lots & that when he is ready i am more than willing to listen to what he has to stay. But, sometimes he needs a bit of a push to get it out as i can see he is on the verge of breakdown.

The longer they are home, the easier it gets. Yes, their temper is shorter & they do seem to be argumentitive, try not to bite too much when they do snap. Just be the normal loving woman that he fell in love with.

I believe that it is just as hard for the spouses as it is for the service men & women, there often isnt enough support for us.

If you ever need to talk, email me or contact me through here, its good to talk to someone who knows exactly where youre at.

Good luck sweety :O)

Answer 3

I am an vet from Iraq, I have been home 6 months, and am in the national guard, so I am home, not at a base, I have returned to my civilian job. I do have a shorter temper now. being in that situation 24/7 will change you, It made me realize alot of things. 1) what is really important in life, and 2) being stupid can get you or others killed.

I have all the patience for people who just dont know, but very low tolerance for stupid people, they are they ones who think we went to iraq for oil or other monetary gain.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to email me or my wife, she was/is the war in Iraq, but supports me 110%

give him time to adjust, but realize you will have to adjust to him too.

Answer 4

It is common in the military to have times of separation. During that time, almost subconsciously, some people try not to think of their family because it distracts them from their duties and focus. In a war type situation like in Iraq, it would be even more important to focus on what you have to do there.

The problem comes in when the person returns home and finds it hard to re-bond with their spouse and children. It's difficult to get back into the routine of family again.

Given the stresses in Iraq, I can only imagine this adding to the problem.

May I suggest getting counseling to help you work through this and re-bond again, as well as help him to work through his issues from his experience in Iraq?

My ex never re-bonded after an overseas tour. I prayed and tried, and toughed it out in hopes that I would get my husband back... but it never happened and after 4 years of unhappiness, we ended up divorced anyway. Explain this to him and ask him to go to counseling with you now to save your marriage and have a future together.

Best Wishes,

Sue

Answer 5

he is on edge n its going 2 take time 4 him 2 settle back down. what can u do LOVE HIM. how do u handle it by being as understanding as u can n going in the basement when no one is around n screaming ur head off.

he has been through a tough time n so have u. its hard 2 get used 2 having them back around n not worrying urself sick every day wondering if they r alright.

good luck it will get better just remember that remember the love u two share n do things 2 remind him of that.

Answer 6

Listen carefully, I am a Police Officer at the department of Veterans Affairs. You need him to see a Psych Doctor, It is possible he is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). It wont cost you anything but time, and it takes awhile to come down from whatever he has seen and done over there. There will be other soldiers whom are experiencing the same thing. Call your nearest VA and take him with you.

Answer 7

Contact his Rear-D (Well he's Navy and Im no longer certain what they name them so I will use an Army time period) and lead them to mindful of the concern. Perhaps a travel on base to speak to finance and whatnot. All the opposite posters have submit truly well understanding.

Answer 8

War changes a man forever. He will never be the same person again.

Answer 9

Sounds like he's got "Pointless War Syndrome"
It's where you're torn away from your life and your family to go fight in a pointless, misled occupation of a sovereign nation for a profiteering war mongering administration and their mentally retarded patsy for **** pay while watching your friends die and lose limbs in a boiling desert filled with people who don't want you there all the while wondering if you could be next.

I'd be pissed too!!

Answer 10

it takes time for the massive amounts of adrenaline to wear off. it will. give him a couple of months. if he still needs help getting out of combat mode call your local Veteran's Administration. they deal with this ALL the time.