Is anybody else like this?

Question

People seem really indifferent to me. I know they don't hate me because I'm really nice to everybody but I'm also very quiet and shy and can't talk to people much, I think I have that social anxiety disorder. Like I always seem like I'm the last one they pick to talk to, and it's not like they don't like talking to me they respect me it's just they seem really indiffernet. I have an easier time talking to people and they sometimes seem to like talking to me when its just me and another person in a room.

Answer 1

Yes, I am like this. It's a strength you have. Some people freak out in a one on one conversation. But the more you do the things that make you feel uncomfortable, the easier it gets. Either you get less uncomfortable with it, or you become better at knowing that no one sees that you are uncomfortable.

Answer 2

I know exactly what you mean, I have felt the same way in situations and it has made me feel uncomfortable when in a social setting. I have also questioned myself and asked what am I doing wrong. I don't know your age but I have learned that the older I get the more relaxed I am with myself and I try not to worry too much over whether or not people like me. Rather than self doubt, I now ask myself why wouldn't they like me. I am friendly, and I do my best to make other people comfortable, and so what if I am a little shy at first. I have been out with people who on the surface seem so relaxed only to find out later that they were nervous or uncomfortable. So what I am trying to is that sometimes you may be a little shy and the person you are talking to may be a little shy and that may create what seems like an awkward situation. Just try to relax, I bet that people like you just fine and I bet that you are someone that people can go to when they just want someone nice to talk with. :)

Happy Holidays!!!

Answer 3

I was actually diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). Although my situation wasn't as extreme as former NO Saint/Miami Dolphin Ricky Williams (he'd hide in his football helmet when talking to the press, but has received a lot of help and functions a lot better today), I would often avoid crowds of people completely or make excuses to leave a room when there were just a few people around. It didn't really start happening until I was in my mid-20's, but I've received help (both pharmaceutically and socially) and I'm a lot better now. In fact, I was recently taken off of my medication and although things can be a little tough sometimes, I dive right into situations that FORCE me to talk to people.

You may want to seek professional help, but one thing that has always helped me is to learn a little something about each person you frequently make contact with. For instance, I really enjoy following the Houston Astros and so do a few of my co-workers. With that in mind, I also ask them something about the 'Stros. I often find that I know more about the subject than they do (because I try to research things thoroughly) and they will usually ask questions to try and pick my brain. Don't worry about whether or not you're always correct. In fact, expect to be corrected sometimes. That's a good thing. So long as you're engaging in conversation, you can control SAD.

Another good thing to try is to keep a list of general topics (weather, holidays, work, etc) to bring up with people you don't normally talk to much (such as cashiers, bank tellers, etc.). You'd be amazed how quickly people will open up to you and therefore help you open up to them.

Another thing you could try is to take a public speaking course at a local university. It provides you with the chance to talk in a controlled environment, and you really get to know your classmates well if the class is fairly small.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

I kinda used to be like that. A few years ago, back in Middle School, I had no friends in my grade (ok, my grade was all of 18 people...) and I had friends in a lower grade. When I got bumped up to highschool, Luckily I had met some new people at out 8th grade trip. I really had to push myself to get out of my shell, and I almost didn't talk to the guy who is now my best friend. If i had missed that chance and the later learned I would have been good friends with that person If i didn't pass it up, I would have been sad. Try to get your self into a club or activity that you really really like and are enthusiastic about, then push yourself, ever so slightly at first, to being open and excited about the activity. I learned in a class that people start relationships usually by having something in common, then it grows from there. One more bit of advice: Smile and keep your arms uncrossed. This puts out a body image of confidence and openness.

I really hope this helps you!

Oley

Answer 5

I believe must people are not comfortable talking in a group. People often feel ignored. Sometimes when you are quite and shy, people may think you are not interested. Let them know you are by contributing to the conversation. When you have done this a few times, it will become easier and people will approach you first. But , I think people are usually more comfortable talking one on one. You are not unusual. Try not to let it bother you and join in. You will feel better. You sound like you have a lot to offer a conversation. Good luck

Answer 6

I think we all feel this way at some point. I notice the people who others like to talk to are very open, happy and quite animated when they talk. I'm not a high-energy person so to me talking to people takes some effort, but I notice I get a better reaction from people when I'm more energized and lively. Try this next time and see if there is a difference.

Answer 7

Yes, I'm a lot like you, but I'm different in that I don't question myself like you do.

Let me explain... All of my focus is on them and not myself, so I don't really care what other people think of me.

Therefore, I discovered that being an introvert means that you are assessing the situation and you don't want to get involved.

It's confused with the behavior of shyness, when really, it's not interesting enough for you to participate in the conversation. If it was, your posture would be "I don't care what they think" and you would just raise your voice enough to be heard without any fear of judgment on their part.

If I were you, I'd get more involved in your talents and find something to do before you start questioning yourself to the point that you get on medications and lose who you really are. People are NOT that important that they have to validate who you are.

Answer 8

I used to be like that, then i realized that small talk and small efforts made by me went a long way to opening up communication with other people. Eventually it's not so hard and the anxiety goes away. Then you have realtionships built with people.

Answer 9

answer is yes.
exactly same as with me. exactly exactly. there were times when i would try to be a part of the group and have friends and talk with people but somehow i always end up by myself. never understood it and at a major event i went over to a table and decided i wanted to sit with these people and sat with them and they all got up and went to another table and i was kinda angry about it so i called up one of them after it was all over and asked why did they do that and they said it wasnt because thy didnt want to sit with me but it was because they wanted to sit with someone else and that they didnt even realize.
and exactly like you said when its just me and someone else we can have a really good conversation and they know im not stupid i look good and i always have fascinating things to think about i dont act nerdy or anything, even got elected as student body president of my school, but now when i go back to pick up my bro and sis nobody says hi to me, nobody cares to talk, and they will only look at m if i wave like im crazy. like i have a sign on my back that says ignore me.
this is just one of those things i dont think you can fix because even after being quiet, i made a big speech and got elected president so i thought i defeated that but even that didnt work and am still very amazed. and i wasnt just quiet like talk a little here and there, it was pure silence not even a word, if i sneezed they got excited that i made such a big noise.

so yes, there are other people like that. it gets confusing but just enjoy living and dont worry about it. :)

Answer 10

your question was kind of all over the place. people usually can sense wether or not someone really wants people to come over and talk to them, maybe you subconciently dont feel like talking to people and you're giving off that vibe? could that be it? i would hate for you to lable yourself with a "disorder". when maybe you just need to surround yourself with a better class of people. maybe? or maybe im overthinking it? good luck anyway!