Should I confront my husband about online flirting?

Question

I’ve been reading his email and have hacked into his myspace. (I know, that’s bad) He’s emailed a few girls with casual conversation (nothing terribly incrimidating) but in each email he has told the girls that he thinks they are hot.

I’m completely uncomfortable with him telling girls they are hot! Everytime I read it I get so mad but I can’t tell him that I’ve hacked into his myspace account. I’m not sure if I trust him.

What should I do?

Answer 1

create another account and fake myspace page as a hot young girl and start chatting with him. When he says or makes some comment that is outrageous bust him in the act! Whatever you do you have to do something. He's at the gateway to cheating on you and screwing things up. You can either choose a tactic that's going to bust him in the act or you can choose another way. Like working on making your marriage so great that he just stops doing that. Get counseling, have more sex, talk to him openly about everything. He's not getting something from you that he gets from these other girls. Figure it out and give it to him before its too late.

Answer 2

Girl...you're his wife...NOT his girlfriend. You both got married for a reason. If he's faithful to you, he shouldn't be doing that stuff in the first place. Confront him if you want. You have every right to. Yea...you hacked into his MYSPACE thing but what the heck is he doing telling other girls that they're hot? He's not a single man anymore. He's married! He's wrong! Go for it girl. More power to you.

Answer 3

You seem to be in a tough spot. You obviously don't trust him and that has lead you to do something completely untrustworthy yourself. I don't want to sound mean, but it sounds like you crossed a line and broke into his email and myspace, which proves you can't be trusted, and then you couldn't find any proof that he did anything wrong. Sounds an awful lot like George Bush attacking Iraq only to find they did not have WMDs.

Regarding his emailing girls and telling them he thinks they are hot, what's the harm in that? Have you stopped thinking guys are hot? If a guy tells a woman she's hot, that is usually the end of it.

You asked us what you should do....admit to him that you broke his trust and broke into his email and myspace accounts. Tell him you were worried that he was cheating on you because you are insecure. Tell him you're sorry and that you won't violate his trust again. Ask for his forgiveness. Tell him that because of your self confidence issues the fact that he's told some women he thinks they are hot, scares the life out of you. Ask him what his intent was in telling them that, and then think about whether or not his intent somehow hurts you. If he's just telling them he thinks their hot because he thinks that then that doesn't hurt you at all. Since you found no evidence of him actually doing anything other than complimenting these other women you should take him at his word. Also, one last thing, don't expect him to change any of his behavior just because you are a jealous person. That is just not fair.

Answer 4

Keep watching it and don't say anything until/unless he does something incriminating. At that point, who cares if he gets mad? If he was trustworthy, you wouldn't have to go to such lengths. If you do find anything, print it out so he can't deny it. I really believe the computer and online chat rooms contribute so much to all the infidelity that is rampant these days. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I had the same situation. Tell him how much it bothers you and that you need him to stop. If he doesn't want to stop, tell him that you need to know exactly who these girls are, what you say, and when it happens, every time.

If he's mature enough to be married, then he's mature enough to put your feelings first. That kind of stuff is okay when you're dating, but not when you're married.

It sounds like he needs a hobby, too.

Answer 6

He is a cheater. Sorry, but if he wuld go this far behind your back, then there is no telling how much further he would go. It is wrong to snoop, but I'm assuming you had a hunch already. I would leave him. But I have no tolerance for cheating of any kind. And no, I don't think he can be trusted.

Answer 7

Hardly anything, including trust, is absolute. Learn to live with what you've got till you can take no more and can move on. Meanwhile, merely telling other women they are hot isn't that sinful, so don't tell him. Trust is relative.

Answer 8

he's married, not dead

men are going to look, wouldn't be human if they didn't
So for him to think that another woman is hot, isn't the end of the world

no you don't trust him, because if you did, you would have discussed it with him, prior to hacking into his email.

Is the issue him or is it you? Do you not feel sexy? Do you wish that he'd respond to you in that way? Do something about that, if that is the reason

Answer 9

Discreetly monitor his acct. and you can test it further by creating another fake acct. and seeing if he would agree to meeting or talking on the phone. At the same time tell him about a problem one of your acquaintances has with her husband flirting on the computer....see if he thinks it's harmless and nothing will happen. Be sure to tell him how awful it would make you feel.

Answer 10

Since he doesn't know you are able to get into his account - take advantage of that and keep a close eye on him! It will be hard to keep your mouth closed but I'd be interested to see if he gets friskier with these women. Of course you have the right to freak out on him at any time. He has NO RIGHT to call anybody hot except for you.