Is it necessary for a child to be raised by a male and female parent?

Question

Would a community collective do a better job producing considerate, loving people in our world? What can parents offer that other caring people cannot? Is a better for a child to be exposed to only a few people on a regular basis (i.e. parents, family) or is better for a child to experience a multitude of people who can offer them their life experience? Our culture seems dead set on 1-2 parent homes.. Why shouldn't a child have multiple influences, assuming they are positive? Looking for advice and commentary from anyone from moms to social theorists..

Answer 1

I think the more the merrier. I have 3 mothers and I would not be the great person and parent that I am today with out the influence of all of them. If I could give my sons another mother to look up to and get advise from that would be great. Everyone sees life differently and we cannot all give the same view. I don't want my kids to just see things from my eyes. I want them to see everything an make their own judgment.

Answer 2

You present an interesting perspective. Your question is really a take on "It takes a village to raise a child". Possibly you are also suggesting that we are all responsible for raising and ensuring the positive development of the next generation. When you say "our culture" I am not sure exactly who you mean. In Canada, our culture is a multi-culture, so there are many philosophies of child raising. Where I live extended family still plays a role in raising children, though not as significant a role as in the past.

All things being equal, and if the collective home/community is loving and caring, and if the children get individual attention and love, and bond with at least one adult who is special to them, then I think that a community collective can do a good job raising children.

Many cultures have such a philosophy, and even in our own society a few generations ago children were raised more by the extended family than just by the parents. So you are not presenting a scenario that is unheard of, or that has never been the norm. When I was a child the whole community had a hand in raising the kids, in that if any of us did anything we were not supposed to do, we could expect to be reprimanded by any adult who saw. And we had the same respect for all adults that we had for our parents. We also knew that if we were in difficulty we could walk into any home in the community and get assistance. Many children has a special relationship with some adult other than the parents. My special relationship was with my dad's aunt.

I do think there is something to be said for the special love and bonding that can exist (but does not always exist) between a parent and a child. I believe that the bond can be even stronger between a grandparent and grandchild, which again supports the idea of the positive effect of a community being involved in the raising of a child.

Interesting question. Thanks for asking it.

Answer 3

I don't think this is an either or proposition. I am certainly not a "It Takes a Village" kind of guy, but people beyond my wife and me have influence on our children. On the other hand, by asking you question you are implying that children might be better off without particular dedicated parents. I suspect even in closed communities, such as communes (Kibbutz, Amish, others), the primary responsibility for raising children falls on the parents or parent substitute.

In the first few years of life children are so dependent that it takes persons who are absolutely dedicated to those children to raise them. Obviously, this does not have to be their biological parents, but it takes someone with a strong emotional attachment and dedication to do it (adoptive and foster parents and grandparents often do quite well). I don't think a "community" can replace parents. I do not believe the biological imperative of parenting can be replaced with political correctness.

Community becomes more important as a child grows and develops. School, church, extended family, friends, teams etc., all have their roll. Community also has its roll in supporting the parents as they raise their children.

Answer 4

A mother and father provide a child with identity and a feeling of belonging. I think families are very important to a child in his/her formative years. On the other hand, it is also essential that children be exposed to many outside influences and people who will help shape their lives. They do this by going to school, having friends, getting involved in many worthwhile activities, and when they are older, by getting a job. But it's still nice to have a home to come to, and loving parents they can call their own. Therefore, I think parents are very necessary, but so are the thousands of other people that a person comes in contact with during his or her lifetime.

Answer 5

I think children need the stability and predictability of one home. Two parents are better than one, in my own opinion, because I think two parents should result in better support of each other in raising the child, and are able to call each other out if one parent is off the mark on an issue. However, I don't think it matters if the parents are man/woman or man/man woman/woman so long as the family is loving and stable. I do believe children need to be socialized as well, and should have continuous contact with all types of people and places.

Answer 6

no is not necessary but it would be way better u need a male that child needs to look up to and a female too look up to. u cant have a male explain things about a girl better than a female and a female cant explain things about a male bettter than a male. plus we live in a society that image both parents in kids see that as soon as a kid is raise by a single parent they feel less as they see another kid getting raise by both parents. and that what happenning to society right now most kids are seen broken families with out both parents and they grew and dont think having both parents is a family value since they grew up like that. and it goes down the line

Answer 7

Research shows that a child is far more emotionally healthy with the influence of two attentive and traditional (one male and one female) parents. They are better in school, jobs, and in future relationships. The child is also far LESS likely to get into legal issues in the future.

Answer 8

Interesting topic. It is an ideal setting, but it is not accepted as a norm in our society. I have heard of other cultures that do exactly that and the kids turn out good.

Answer 9

No, definately not a collective.

People need individuals who love and care for them, and role models are good. My dad died when I was 12, so I was raised by my mum.

Answer 10

i think that kids should be raised by thier parnets. but the whole community can help, school,social workers, on and on. they are exposed to numerous people, throughout thier whole lives. so it is already like you talked about. merry christmas.